Greetings my friends.
After being laid off on Halloween, I finally have a solid job lead which should start the begining of January.
It's similiar to the job I had before except I would have to report to the office every day and I'm terrified of whether I can handle it or not.
It would mean I have to get up early, shower, dress and commute just like a normal person amd just like I used to do, but I can't do those things.
I feel so conflicted - I want this job badly. We're just about out of money, but don't think I can handle this job.
I asked myself "What's the worst that can happen?". My answer was that the worst that can happen is that I can't handle it physically and mentally and I have to quit. I guess I can live with that.
My sleep patterns have reversed again and I'm trying like all heck to get them back on track. My doctor prescribed Xanax to use in combination with my regular narcotic sleeping pill, and I use the Peace and Calming essential oil on my feet and ears at night. It's worked a few times, but not well enough. I'm still up till 2 or 3 am.
I'm also going for auricular therapy today. It's $200 for 12 sessions (ouch - that's alot of dough!). Auricular is non-needle accupuncture used in conjunction with magnets and other mumbo-jumbo. I spoke to the doctor who'll be adminstering the therapy and she said she has a high success rate with chronic insomnia patients. I'll keep folks posted on how it goes.
I'm so afraid I'll be late for work all the time; I'm afraid I'll lose my balance and fall in the hallways, I'm afraid I'll work the first week then I won't be able to get out bed for days because it was just too much for my mind and body.
My kids, my mom and my LLMD say that they think it will be tremendously hard for me, but they feel I can handle it. My LLMD told me to take a walk each day and I have been. It's supposed to increase my stamina.
I'm just scared and I am just plain FED UP with simple things in my life being difficult for me to do. Enough already!
Peace and health to all,