My struggle with health anxiety and lymphoma fears. Im new. Please Read! :) - Lymphomas Message Board

Chelle80 · 06-14-2004, 10:54 AM

I have had fears of lymphoma since I was 16 years old and read an article in a teen magazine about a young girl getting lymphoma. My fears over lymphoma increased when I turned 18 and found a slightly swollen lymph node on the back of my neck under my hairline. This lymph node never grew in size and I would only think about it when I got sick. I would always think, "The lymphoma is finally killing me!"

When I turned 22 I wasn't feeling good and FINALLY had a doctor feel the swollen lymph node. Three different doctors told me it was nothing and that if it hadn't grown in size, it wasn't anything to worry about. It was small and below my scalp which meant it could have swelled years ago in reaction to a scalp infection, etc.

My fears once again soared last year when I got mono. I thought the lymphoma was killing me again. Once again, my doctor told me I had nothing to worry about. At this point the lymph node had been there for 5 years and it hadn't grown one bit. It was still small, and only slightly larger then my normal nodes.

Well, this April I came down with a viral infection and my HEALTH ANXIETY went through the roof. I convinced myself that I was dying of lymphoma and went to the doctor. My doctor knew I would NOT get over my fear of lymphoma unless the lymph node was gone. So he referred me to a General Surgeon who took the node out a few weeks ago.

The pathology report came back showing NO LYMPHOMA or OTHER MALIGNANCY. It was a reactive swollen lymph node.

One would think I would have been elated. At 24 years of ago now I finally had the lymph node that had been bothering me for years removed. Well, my worry is STILL through the roof.

I have had a swollen lymph node behind my left ear since BIRTH. I swear it's been there forever. My mom took me to the doc for it when i was a baby and my doctor told my mom not to worry. My pediatrician even had one behind his ear too. The lymph node has not gotten bigger, but it has not went away. It has just grown and adjusted with my body. My doctor now has felt it and said it is nothing to worry about. It's been there since birth and it hasn't killed me in 24 years. It's not malicious.

Now that the lymph node is gone, I am worried that I have lymphoma in some other part of my body. I have had numerous CBC's taken about 6 times over the last 2 months and it has always been normal. I have had a chest x-ray which was clean and a cervical spine x-ray which was normal. Nothing is showing anything.

I have alot of various physical symptoms all of which my doctor thinks is coming from my anxiety over health. My symptoms are things like: shortness of breathing, numbness and tingling throughout my body, muscle tension, aches and pains all over my body, etc. All symptoms my doctor thinks are coming from anxiety.

I had no other B symptoms of anxiety except I did loss 10 lbs in 2 months. My doc thinks this is because of Paxil [which he put me on and can cause loss of appetite] and anxiety/stress which can also cause weight loss. He does not think it is cancer related.

I should mention that I am now on Buspar and it seems to be working better then Paxil and have just started therapy to get over my HEALTH ANXIETY. I am taking the steps to becoming better both mentally and physically.

My question for all of you is this: Should I accept the results of the pathology report and celebrate?! I keep thinking I need a second opinion when I really don't. The only reason they took the node out was because I wanted it out. The doctors felt no cause for concern and it was there for over 6 years [and very small when removed....1cm x 0.5cm x 0.3cm]. Is there a chance that lymphoma is someplace else in my body?! It's like I want my doctor to give me a full body scan to check for swollen lymph nodes everywhere! Why do I have to be so irrational when it comes to health?!

Can anxiety cause the physical symptoms I have listed above?! I find it never hard that anxiety can do that much to your body.

Please, I hope you have taken the time to read this. I really need all the support I can get.

-Chelle

shannon30 · 06-14-2004, 02:15 PM

my oh my can it ever cause those symptoms and so much more. I suffer from severe health anxiety as well as panic attacks. I am only 31 and have had it real bad for about 5 months. I get very dizzy almost daily, can't catch my breath, shooting pains in my head and tummy, i will get this burning sensation threw out my whole body including my tounge, i feel as if I am going to pass out alot, and the list goes on. I have had so many blood tests, ultrasound on my stomach, MRI on my brain, bone scan, cat scan of head and stomach, upper and lower barium, spinal tap, nuroligical exams up the ying ying, and everything has been perfect. Yes anxiety can cause so many weird things to happen top your body...

ysco · 06-14-2004, 03:04 PM

Well, to make a long story short: You don't have lymphoma. period.

You do though seemingly have some kind of abnormal anxiety disorder. It sounds like you are overly paranoid about this disease for absolutely no reason...

You see, you are young, so you better take care of this anxiety problem you have (or whatever the cause is) because if you don't the fears won't disappear by themselves (if they hadn't after so many years). You got many doctors opinions, plus a biopsy results (and yes, if they took the whole node out it's totally accurate) and you are still worried about nothing, that does not sound normal to me.
You're likely to see more enlarged nodes throughout life... it's irrational every time you get a cold etc. you will go panic about lymphoma. There are hundreds of far likelier causes of enlarged nodes other than lymphoma. Note that lymphoma is also quite rare at your age.

I suggest you consult a psychologist and continue from there and hopefully he or she could help you ease your mind, or at least refer you to the appropriate field.

Good luck

nyjt1000 · 06-14-2004, 03:17 PM

your lucky to have only those symptoms with anxiety there is alot more anyways go to the stress and anxiety board on here!

Chelle80 · 06-14-2004, 05:40 PM

Shannon: Isn't the burning feeling the worst?! I am glad you understand what I am talking about. Anxiety is hellish. The physical symptoms are so real for a health anxiety sufferer that you think it can't ONLY be anxiety that is causing them. Good luck with your anxiety!

NYJT: I have been to the panic disorders board briefly today. I plan on looking at it more extensively later!

YSCO: My fears may seem abornmal to YOU, but to me they are very real. You wouldn't understand unless you suffered from health anxiety. The swollen lymph node I had removed was considerable larger then the rest of my nodes. My lymph nodes are NOT easy to be felt on my body. The fact that it never went down or went away concerned me. I was also not one to always touch it, so thats not why it was staying enlarged. It also always became a concern for me when I was sick because I feel most people focus on their glands more when they are sick. Anyway, I also have a friend that was diagnosed with NHL in 2002. A close friend. So young people DO get it. And actually according to my friends doctor, more and more young people are getting it as the decades go on. So, how do you think i felt when my close friend was diagnosed with it?! Yeah. It made the disease all the more real to me.

Ysco, you also tell me to get help from a pysch, but if you read my INTIAL post you would see that I am already doing that. I go for session number 2 with the cognitive behavorial therpist tomorrow. I am also on Buspar for my anxiety. I've been on it one week today. Therefore, I AM taking the steps necessary to help myself with this anxiety problem.

It's not easy to have such anxiety over your health. Especially for someone like me because I am not anxious about anything else in my life. I am a very happy-go-lucky 24 year old women when it comes down to it. This health anxiety is the only thing that has gotten to me.

It's a REAL disease. I wish people understood that. As abnormal and irrational as my thoughts may seem to all of you.

I shall get over my lymphoma fears one day.

-Chelle