Visited here 4 years ago for dad, now it's mom's turn...not fair... - Lymphomas Message Board

wishn · 06-14-2007, 09:01 PM

My dad came down with lymphomas a little over four years ago and within 3 mos it took his life. I have visited here from time to time to lend support to others and didn't think I would be back to discuss another family member, and most of all, my mom. 2 weeks ago she went into the hospital for surgery. She had a mass on her pancreas, but after opening her up the surgeon was unable to remove it. As I sat in the waiting area I watched other families and their doctors conversing about the status of their loved one. If it were good news they would sat and discuss it, if bad, they would walk over to the little room and shut the door. I prayed the doctor would not ask that my brother and I go to that room. 2 hours into the surgery he came out and directed us to the dreaded room telling us he could not peel away the mass and had found what "appeared" to be cancer on her bowel. After the pathology report came back, it was confirmed. I have cried so many tears, however must be strong because "I am supposed to be the strong one in the family." My brother cares, but not as aggressive as I am with questions and moving forward to the next steps.

May I ask for your help with a few questions please??
1. It will be two weeks tomorrow from intially finding the cancer. I realize we don't know the exact lenght of time the cancer has been there, however we are guessing maybe 3ish mos due to her symptoms. Because mom was still cut... the healing is going to take awhile. (8 inch incision) She is 70 and in excellent health otherwise, but I am so concerned about her not getting started with the chemo yet. Her appt to consult with the oncologist is next Tuesday and I am concerned about it being to long before test. Any experience is waiting "too long?"
2. I am not even sure if the Oncologist will want to move forward on Tuesday because of needing the other to heal. Has anyone ever had surgery and experienced the wait for Chemo because they had to first heal?

I know I am probably making little sense with my questions, because we haven't found out yet what stage she is in, but the doctor did "suggest" that the cancer was only seen around the bowel and in surrounding areas. But, I thought I would ask...

3. Mom is scared of the chemo because she has heard stories in years past of burning and the awful pain experienced with it. Is it really that bad?

My dad was so sick and could only get through chemo twice...so she is worried.

ANy words of advice would be so, so appreciated.

Hugs, Annie

Nassau one · 06-15-2007, 06:32 AM

I am so sorry you are going through this again. It must be especially painful since your father died from lymphoma four years ago and you are now worried about your mother. I think when you have more information, you may feel more encouraged about the future. You may well find that your mother responds to her treatment better than your father did. Everyone is different and every cancer is different. It is a good sign that your mother is otherwise in good health and that will help her tolerate treatment.

My husband was dx nearly four years ago with Stage 111C rectal cancer and had eight months of treatment. He lost alot weight and had a difficult time. However, he is doing well now, working full time and is nearly 68. A year ago, I was dx with Stage 1V Follicular Lymphoma which cannot be cured but can be treated. I had six months of treatment and am feeling very well right now. I hope this encourages you.

Let us know how the appt goes with the oncologist and what the treatment plan is. It is usual to have some time elapse for healing....it is important that your mother recovers from the surgery before treatment is given. My husband had to wait for about a month.

Love,

wishn · 06-18-2007, 11:05 PM

THanks so much for the comforting words and kind support...it is very much appreciated. I spent the weekend with my mom and helped her around the house with as much as I could. I have fibromyalgia and so exhausted today, but realizing that I have strenght that I never knew I had.

Tomorrow is my moms Oncology appt and I am worried, but trying to be strong for her. I did much research on the internet and have compiled questions. I am more worried because I noticed this weekend her stomach is much more swollen looking like she is 6 mos pregnant. I am assuming it is fluid but I imagine we will find that out tomorrow.

Thanks again for the thoughts....

BTW, how are you doing? How about your husband? Will have you in our thoughts as well... Annie