It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Lymphomas Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 11-14-2007, 06:45 PM   #1
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,471
singer78 HB User
CC, hope you're well...(& a little about me.....)

Hi.
I'm so glad to hear from you, CC.
And that's wonderful about your bloodwork.
I guess it's a double-edged sword, that you can start chemo on Friday--but, think of it as "killing the beast."
When I went to my psychologist Monday, she told me she wished that I'd come to her before I started radiation. She said she had a "relaxation tape" that would help you imagine the rays of radiation as "soothing, healing rays." I, on the other hand, would shudder when the door would close, and they hit "the button" that goes "bzzzzz..." I needed to do better imagery. I jumped almost every time it went off.
Anyway...if you can imagine how the chemo is doing your body "good,"---that's a good thing. It's your friend, not your enemy.

Yes, the holidays can be rough, when loved one's are gone & especially when your health is not up-to-par. Just think of how great it will be next year!
We'll both make up for lost time!
I don't know about you--but, I think there's always room for turkey & dressing. I even eat it during the summertime at Bob Evan's. Turkey's good protein, you know.

I started a new thread, because the last one was being temperamental.
Sometimes it was there...other time's not.
Hopefully, this one will be better.

love, S.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 11-15-2007, 12:49 PM   #2
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: PA
Posts: 260
CancerChick HB User
Re: Posting a new thread (cause last one was having problems)

Hi Singer,

I've been busy keeping myself busy. I've been on a cleaning frenzy and cleaning out my pantry, my oven and frig. I've got everything all sparkling clean and it smells so good in here even though it's so miserable out. Are you getting the nasty whether like we are? It's so raw and damp.

I too am sorry that you didn't get those tapes before you started radiation. I know how nervous you were about the whole thing. If I ever get that far, I'll remember the buzz.

Yes I hope next year is better for both of us. I'm sure you'll be dancing in the streets Singer. I'm dreading the holidays this year but there are some activities at the cancer center I just might go to.

I found out some more about what's going to happen the next few days. All I can say it's a good thing I have this port in or else I'd be a human pin cushion. First day I get the dreaded Ritauxin and an infusion of etoposide for an hour. On day two the etoposide is repeated and I also get a 60 min infusion of carboplatin and start a 24 hr infusion of ifosfamide and mesna. The mesna is given to protect my bladder and kidneys. Then on day 3 I get another infusion of etoposide over and hour and finish the 24 hr infusion of ifosfamide with mesna. And finally a 12hr infusion of mesna alone and treatment #1 is over. If all goes well I should be home sometime Sunday evening. I miss my kitty already

Back to more cleaning. I have to do this while I'm feeling good. I don't mind cleaning at all. I'm a neat freak. I hope you're having a good day Singer and Linda, as always, the prayers haven't stopped for Don.

Hugs,
__________________
CancerChick

Last edited by CancerChick; 11-15-2007 at 12:50 PM.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 11-15-2007, 05:16 PM   #3
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 367
LINDA505 HB User
Re: Posting a new thread (cause last one was having problems)

CC. sounds like you are going to be on a whirlwind of treatment but it is so good that you know what to expect and you will be in the hosp. That is so good to keep yourself busy and cleaning is always a good what to accomplish both things. I am glad that you sound strong. You can do this.

Singer and CC:

I talked with my sister in law today and the news is not good. Don is bleeding to death and now the blood is coming out of his eyes even. I do not understand how it could come to this. It was a very stressful conversation as she is looking to me to help guide her in stopping the respirator. They have one more test tomorrow that will show if he has any of her stem cells working and if not than he will come off the respirator. I will support her decision on this as I can not bear to think of him living (if you call that living) on a respirator. There is no quality of life in that. I do not understand how he is still here but she does not want to give out on this last hope nor do I. If he is not making any platelets I find it hard to think that the transplant will work at this point. My heart is heavy with this so much so it is hard to think straight. They will go to my father and tell him together . He knows something is not right but is afraid to ask to many questions. My heart aches for him as they worked together for years and had a close father/son relationship. Even though they fussed with one another they had
alot of love for one another. Well that is the story and I do not foresee it coming to a good conclusion based on what my sister in law is saying. I will still accept all your prayers for him and maybe God will perform a miracle. If not the miracle should be that he goes in peace to his Maker. Thank you all for your support and friendship through these trying times.

Love
Linda

Last edited by LINDA505; 11-15-2007 at 05:19 PM.

 
Old 11-15-2007, 05:59 PM   #4
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 294
marnb77 HB User
Re: CC, hope you're well...(& a little about me.....)

Hi Linda, (and others)
I hate to barge in on your thread, but I am freaking out a bit here. I have had a hive looking lump on my left breast since september. It sometimes itches and i wasn't worried because I figured it was nothing. I just went to my dermatologist today and he took a biopsy of it and wouldn't tell me what he thought it was. He didn't have the best bedside manner and I am sitting here crying thinking the worst and thinking I have lymphoma.
I feel so selfish sitting here asking for your advice, when you are all going through so much with your own health, but I have read everything you have wrote to Singer and CC, and you just have such a calming way about you and you seem so knowledgeable. I was just wondering if you could tell me what this sounds like.
Again, I am so sorry to barge in on you guys thread.
Singer, and CC i pray for you guys everyday. I really don't know how you do it. I have had a close family friend survive stage 4 lymphoma and i know you guys will beat this nasty beast.
I just have no one to turn to and i feel so lost.
I am sorry if i am rambling. I am just so terribly nervous. Also have very bad anxiety, that i have been trying to maintain my whole life.
Linda- i have been following your posts about Don. Please know that you and him are in my prayers. I am so so sorry to hear the latest news.

 
Old 11-15-2007, 07:42 PM   #5
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: PA
Posts: 260
CancerChick HB User
Re: CC, hope you're well...(& a little about me.....)

Linda my heart aches for you right now. I'm not good at words in this type of situation but you and Don have been such an inspiration to me. I can see the love that you two have for each other and I so wish the outcome was better. He's been through so much and been fighting this beast for so long and now to hear this. I wish I could think what to say Linda but please know that I won't stop praying. I do believe in miracles and if that's what it takes we have to keep praying for that.

Hi Mar. Please don't ever think you are intruding. This forum is for asking and sharing and we're all here together. I'm sorry I don't know the answer, I'm just learning about all this myself, but if Linda is able to I'm sure she'll have an answer for you. She's so full of knowledge about this being a nurse and I can't say how many times she's calmed me down with her words.

And please don't feel selfish asking about this. It's your body and of course you're worried. And don't ever feel alone. I hope you can feel the bonds that we've made here. Everyone is so kind and caring and we'd love to have you join in and ask away.
__________________
CancerChick

 
Old 11-16-2007, 04:53 AM   #6
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: PA
Posts: 260
CancerChick HB User
Re: CC, hope you're well...(& a little about me.....)

I'm heading out soon because I have to be there at 8AM. I just want to thank everyone for their encouragement in the past. I'm not sure how things will turn out but I have to give it my best shot.

Singer if you're still here I'll miss you on the weekend. And Linda I hope when I get back there's some good news on Don. I'll keep praying in the meantime.

Bye
__________________
CancerChick

 
Old 11-16-2007, 05:40 AM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Nassau, The Bahamas
Posts: 1,284
Nassau one HB UserNassau one HB UserNassau one HB UserNassau one HB User
Re: CC, hope you're well...(& a little about me.....)

CC, just wishing you all the best!
Linda, how sad to hear about Don. It sounds as if you are coming to terms with the fact that he might not make it. He has fought a great battle and you have been so loving and supportive....you could not have done more.
This is so painful for your whole family but it is wonderful you are all so loving and close.

We are praying that whatever happens, Don is at peace and painfree.

Love,
__________________
Husband dx July 2003, advanced rectal cancer stage 111C; myself dx July 2006 indolent lymphoma; husband dx February 2010, stage 2 prostate cancer.

 
Old 11-16-2007, 07:51 AM   #8
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 367
LINDA505 HB User
Re: CC, hope you're well...(& a little about me.....)

Thank you all for you encouragement and kind words...yet again I do not know what I would do without your love and friendship.

CC: Keep your positive attitude and stay strong. You can do this and I will be praying for you all the while. Thank you CC for your prayers. You are so
dear to me.

Mar: You are not intruding on us...we are all here for different reasons but we each need a shoulder to lean on. As far as your breast problem it is hard to say not having any info but what it looks like. First it sounds like the raised area is on top of the breast tissue and not an actual lump. Seeing that you saw a hive like area and not felt a lump I am assuming that is why you sought a dermatologist and not your gyn. I do not think it would be lymphoma. That is not the way it presents itself and you would have other symtoms as well. Your derm sounds like a jerk for not offering you what he feels it might be. Sometimes when a doc does not know what it is they avoid talking so not to appear stupid. I know this sounds silly but unfortunately it is true with some docs. If you have not noticed any change in your breast tissue like dippling or drainage from you nipple or could feel a hard lump on the breast I would have to think that this is a dermatology problem. Dermatology problems are hard to diagnosis unless they are biopsied. I am sorry that I can not be much help but my brain feels alittle scrambled right now and I am not thinking clearly. I would not worry about
lymphoma though. If you are still very worried I would go to my GP and have him or her look at it to ease your mind. Thank you for your kind words to me and my brother.

Take care
Linda

 
Old 11-16-2007, 10:08 AM   #9
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,471
singer78 HB User
Re: CC, hope you're well...(& a little about me.....)

Hello,
(I think this post might be messing up again.
The heading is supposed to read something differently....hope it posts.)

My heart is heavy for you, Linda.
I was gone all day yesterday (went to parent's) and I was hoping to log-on to some good news.
I lost my sister very suddenly & unexpectedly---so, for you to have gone this long haul with such fortitude & strength like you have...well, it's all so very heart-warming. And what a role-model Don has been! He's gone through this all with amazing strength. I pray he's at peace & not in pain, and like CC said, we'll all pray for a miracle. They do happen.

CC--I think you're at the hospital right now. I pray God is watching over you & helping you through this rough time. Please God, send her a special Guardian Angel to help her through these next few days.

Mar, Hi. It's always nice to have new people here. Thank you for your well wishes.
Yes, Linda has helped all of us tremendously & continues to do so, in spite of all she's going through. These are all my "special angels" here.

I had a nice afternoon with my parents. By all rights, they should be in Senior Housing somewhere... But, they refuse. They soon will be needing outside help. It's become very difficult for them both, with their health issues. Aging is no fun. With them not driving anymore, and only depending on family, it's become difficult for everyone.

I need to get going & take my med's in my usual timely manner.
I think the Zoloft is helping with my depression already. I'm going to "make" myself take it. What I'm going through seems small today, compared to Don & now, what CC is facing. I'm done with treatment---but, now it's the waiting game that's taking it's toll. You knew I'd do the "what if's," didn't you Linda? You know me too well. I'm trying to stay on track. I've got a lot going for me---I need to focus on that.

God bless,
S.

Last edited by singer78; 11-16-2007 at 01:53 PM.

 
Old 11-16-2007, 05:38 PM   #10
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 294
marnb77 HB User
Re: CC, hope you're well...(& a little about me.....)

CC-
Thank you for making me feel so welcome here. It literally brought tears to my eyes. I wish you all the luck in the world this weekend. You will do great! I just know it. Please fill us in as soon as you get home and when you are feeling up to it.

Linda- I really think you are one of the most amazing people, and I have never even met you. The time you take for others and your selflessness is one of a kind. You deserve a miracle and I am praying for you and sending hugs your way.

Singer- I think I was the one who wrote to you a few months back, when you were first starting chemo, and I told you to take "babysteps". Now look how far you've come. You are at the finish line! I am cheering you on.

I'm on these boards pretty frequently, so if anyone needs to talk, please do. It's gonna be a loooong weekend waiting for these results so I need to keep busy. My therapist prescribed a stronger drug for me to take at nights to help me sleep, since I wake up all panicky in the mornings. Singer, I think you mentioned you were taking Zoloft? How are you doing with it? I know how terrible it feels to be anxious, especially when it is out of our control.
Hope you are all well..
xx,
marn

 
Old 11-16-2007, 06:06 PM   #11
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,471
singer78 HB User
Re: CC, hope you're well...(& a little about me.....)

Marn, Yes...you WERE the one that said that to me..
And thank you.
Yet, I don't feel I'm completely at the "finish line"--that's part of my problem.
Linda & my chemo nurse's explained it very well:
Your life is busy, busy, busy with treatment...going here, going there--this test, that test...etc., etc., etc....and then BAM! Nothing.
It's like, I've been waiting and praying for "this" day...it's here...and I'm completely, totally numb. What a dumb cluck! But, I'm doing the "what if's" over & over (what if treatment did NOT work?) and driving myself completely crazy---hence, the need for "Zoloft."
So far, I'm not nearly as depressed. Actually, I had a burst of energy just a little while ago, and (tmi) got diarrhea. Considering I'm taking "iron," that's pretty amazing...you know "iron" supplements can "back you up." --And believe me, it has.
Anyway, I'm hopeful this is going to help.
I feel pretty good physically, except I'm still broken out in a rash from radiation, and occasionally I still get a feeling like something's in my throat. I also get swollen glands all over my throat, throughout the day.
The mental side of this, took me totally by surprise. I was doing so much better during treatment with my will power.
I pray you get a good report...and yes, the waiting can drive you nutso.
We both need to busy ourselves. It's so much better when I don't just sit around & fixate..and what good does it do anyway?

You know, I do the "panicky" thing in the morning, too.

The Zoloft does seem to be lessening that feeling some.

God bless,
S.

Last edited by singer78; 11-16-2007 at 06:09 PM.

 
Old 11-16-2007, 07:13 PM   #12
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 294
marnb77 HB User
Re: CC, hope you're well...(& a little about me.....)

Singer,
I know what you are saying. During treatment, you don't have time to sit and focus on the what if's, you have one goal in mind, and that is to get yourself healthy. Now that all the chemo and radio is over, in a way, it is kind of a letdown. It's like this big buildup and then, ... silence. But you do have to think and know that the worst part is over for you. Now is the time to build back up all that strength and go on with your life.
I understand the anxiety all too well. Mine is worse on the weekends and in the mornings. I don't know why, but I seem to do better at night. weird, how it works. I'm trying to keep busy, until monday but it is always easier said than done i think. My poor husband has been through so much with me lately and I just don't think he understands the anxiety I go through. He doesn't have it, so he thinks I can just "snap out of it". However, my dad has terrible anxiety, which has been passed down to me and my sisters (thanks, dad!) so he gets it. I'm wracking myself with worry, eventhough it is out of my control, but the thing with me, is that, even if you tell me not to worry, chances are I will anyways.
You take care of yourself--have the nurses given you something for the rash?
Just a few more days till thanksgiving, I can't believe it.
Just holler if you need to talk..
I'm always around.
xx,
marn

Last edited by marnb77; 11-16-2007 at 07:14 PM.

 
Old 11-16-2007, 07:50 PM   #13
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,471
singer78 HB User
Re: CC, hope you're well...(& a little about me.....)

Yes, they've given me Biofine(?) and also told me Aquaphor is good for the itch.
It kind of is starting to look like a sunburn, now.

You know, I am more anxiety-ridden on the weekends and it's also worse in the mornings, too. We're running a strange parallel....maybe that's just the way anxiety is.
But, like I said, the last few mornings it hasn't been quite such a desperate feeling.

I'm glad you say you're "here" all the time, especially the weekends.
Sometimes people get quiet here, and this is, at times, my only "Saving Grace."

I don't know why the thread heading is the same as the the other thread I started a few days ago....
I had a different heading, but it changed on it's own
I hope it's nothing I did.
love, S.

 
Old 11-17-2007, 09:47 AM   #14
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 367
LINDA505 HB User
Re: CC, hope you're well...(& a little about me.....)

To everyone on this board whom I have had the pleasure of knowing:

Don passed away late last night at 1:47am with his wife by his side. He fought a brave battle and showed tremendous courage. That alone sustained me enough to be brave for him as well. He fought to live until he no longer could hold on and now he is with My Angel, our Mother in Heaven.
I pray that his final hour was peaceful and that he had no fear. Prayers that
were made on his behalf gave great comfort to me and my family. I talked to him often about all of you and he was so grateful that strangers cared enough
to want him to be well. My brother was an amazing man. He had a love for life and lived with zest. He appreciated all that he had and saw the world different than most of us. I always use to kid and say that its Don's world and it must be nice to see things the way he did. The day before he went into the hospital him and his wife were feeding homeless people. His wife told me those were some of the happiest moments for him and her. His home was
always opened to friends and he had many. His heart was gentle and his love
for his family abundant. My gentle teddybear brother whom I loved so dearly.

Rest my dear brother and know that many cared about you and your struggle to live. He said to me for all of you to never give up, to fight until you can no
longer fight and to live and love each day like it were your last.

Thank you for everything, your hopes, prays and friendship. It has meant to world to my family and myself. Be strong and brave and never give up your fight to be well.

Love to all
Linda and Her family

 
Old 11-17-2007, 10:36 AM   #15
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Nassau, The Bahamas
Posts: 1,284
Nassau one HB UserNassau one HB UserNassau one HB UserNassau one HB User
Re: CC, hope you're well...(& a little about me.....)

Linda, my sincerest condolences to you at this sad time in your life.

Love and prayers,
Alison
__________________
Husband dx July 2003, advanced rectal cancer stage 111C; myself dx July 2006 indolent lymphoma; husband dx February 2010, stage 2 prostate cancer.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
What do you do when pain overwhelms & you're weeks away from PM appointment Will Be OK Pain Management 8 07-06-2009 10:35 PM
From 'you're not my daughter' to this? marypar Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 11 02-12-2008 04:53 PM
CC...Hope you're o.k. singer78 Lymphomas 6 01-26-2008 04:39 PM
CC, hope you're well...(& a little about me.....) singer78 Lymphomas 20 11-15-2007 12:42 PM
Hope & More Info stargrave Inner Ear Disorders 5 04-22-2007 11:27 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:46 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!