Mother's menopause experience and daughter's same? - Menopause Message Board

virtous · 09-29-2004, 04:27 PM

Hi
I am new to this menopause board. I have been reading this board for about a week and now I am seeing that I am not the only person going thru all of these symptons. I am 50 yrs old and I just feel awful, I think that I have all of the symptons listed.
I asked my mother how was menopause for her and she told me that she didn't have any symptons, she had no problems at all. But I always heard that the daughter's menopause and mother's menopause experience would be similar. Everyone keeps telling me to talk to my mother about how it was for her and it should be the same for me. But so far my experience isn't anything like hers. Has anyone else heard about this?

Hopefully · 09-29-2004, 04:54 PM

My mother is from the old school who believe that women should just suffer silently.

This is a sore subject for me because of the horrendous symptoms that I have experienced during this "season" in my life; It's sad to think that my mother did not warn me of these days. Matter of fact it was my dad who told me that she'd gone through menopause. When I told my dad that I was going through perimenopause he stated that he hoped it wasn't as bad as my mother's. My mother did say that she went through menopause between the age of 43-45 (after I inquired).

My sister an I have made it a point to discuss every ache, pain, panic attack, cure and possible cure with our daughters. Hopefully, they will be spared the many symptoms of perimenopause and menopause (isn't it mind boggling to know that some women are totally symptom free during this time in their lives??????????). I've even started a journal that I'm passing down to my daughter so that she will be prepared and not feel alone and clueless.

As usual I've totally strayed from the subject. Hope this information will be helpful to someone.

anita4pets · 09-29-2004, 08:20 PM

My mother should be named Cleopatra..she is truly the queen of denial! She tells me and everyone else that she zipped through menopause and only realised it had happened when she came to the realization one day that she hadn't had a period in months.

The reality...my mother went totally wacko. Moved to another state. Went off on various members of the family and stayed out of touch with them for a year. She was having terrible bowel problems and emotional issues.

Isn't it a shame that our mothers couldn't prepare us for this and have a bit of sympathy for what we are going through.

Thank heavens for this board!

virtous · 09-29-2004, 09:11 PM

My mother never talked to me about her menopause experience. I just asked her about it recently. Thats when she told me that she did not have symptons and didn't know what was going on until she start missing her periods. It is something how some women are sympton free. I always tried to eat right and take care of myself and I thought that even doing this all of my life, I would have an easy menopause experience like my mother. I always had easy periods every month, no cramps, no heavy bloating, etc.
I am also thankful for this board.

Belle2003 · 09-30-2004, 12:42 AM

Our mothers were not educated on all of the symptoms caused by menopause like we are. (Thanks to a few good books) They only associated menopause with no periods, hot flashes and hair growing on their chins. They probably didn't know anything about estrogen, and progesterone imbalances. Meanwhile they were going emotionally wacko, having anxiety attacks, bowel problems, hair loss, etc and never realized that it could be due to menopause.