I seriously don't feel my age... - Menopause Message Board

MaryJet · 10-07-2004, 01:00 PM

Hi Everyone, this is nuts I know but I really really don't feel like I'm 47. I feel around 25 to 30!! It's really feaking me out, everytime I look in the mirror I'm surprised at how old I look. When I buy clothes they are always too young. Recently my eldest daughter got married and I went into a minor depression, I picked a really sexy mermaid gown for the evening, I felt like a bridsmaid and had a hard time accepting that I was the MOTHER of the bride.

I'm married to a younger man, he's 42. What the heck? Will I every grow up and feel my age? I see people who are my age and I freak out because they look ancient and they are my age!!
Can anyone relate or am I just a freak?
Mary

P.S. Oh yeah, I can't believe that I'm having major peri menopausal symptoms already, I mean I feel like I just started getting periods and now it's over....already.

Dianek · 10-07-2004, 01:17 PM

I really don't know how you're suppose to feel at any given age. I'm 49 but still feel the same as I was 30 years ago...outside of a few aches and pains now and then. One good thing about getting older is that I know I'm not as naive as I once was, but I'm still pretty much the same when it comes to values and with time comes wisdom.

I know what you mean about seeing people your own age and even younger and wondering if you look "that old" too. Well, my neighbor for the longest time thought she was 3 or 4 years older than me and it turns out she's that much younger than me and she was shocked. I lay that too having never smoked and I stay out of the sun...I have to due to experiencing a basal cell carcinoma.

I consider myself grown up, my interests have changed but that doesn't mean you should stop having fun!

As far as the period thing...I'm very much ready for that to be over; I've had it way long enough. In fact, if I only knew I'd never would have any more kids after my last son was born, I would have seriously considered asking the doctor to perform a hysterectomy along with my c-section. Think of the years I could have been free!!

Seriously though, I know I'm on the home stretch as far as that goes...I hope

and don't turn into one of those women that still has their period at 56!

armadillo pie · 10-07-2004, 01:40 PM

I will always remember the 86 year old lady that lived next door to me. She said to me on many occasions that she could not believe she was 86 and a senior. She said she felt like she was in her 20's and 30'a but when she looked in the mirror she could not believe what was looking back at her. All the wrinkles, gray hair, and she was shorter then before. But then with a little smile she say how blessed she felt to have lived her life, the ups and downs, and that there was no worrying about her age cause there was nothing she could do about it anyway expect accept it and keep doing her best.
Sounds like you are going through a middle age crisis and self- esteem issues, pretty common for women to go through, expecially with children growing up and you also entering perimenopause. Your hormones are shifting and so are you.
So what can you do about it. You can get depressed and go into denial ( like my dad did- he lived to be 94 and he was depressed cause he could not/ would not accept getting older), or you can get some counseling to help you work through this time of your life.
It is hard in our society which values youth and does not value our elders, but as women we are gifted because as we age I feel we get better emotionally/ psychologically/ spiritually. And we can still be attractive physically if we continue to take care of ourselves.
For me when I ponder on how I am aging I take the attitude of my neighbor that I can't stop the hands of time but I can make myself look and feel the best I can. I find myself looking at older women and finding admirable quailities I'd like to possess.
Also there are plenty of books out there on this subjects and plenty of women who will share. Keep reaching out.

MaryJet · 10-07-2004, 02:36 PM

Thank you for your replies. Don't get me wrong, I don't have low self esteem, I feel good about myself, I look good for my age, (I hate saying that), I just don't feel 47, it just flew by. I want to grow old gracefully, I just don't feel old. I do have fluctuating hormones which makes me crazy sometimes, but I'm taking natural hormone balancing herbs, they do help. I just wanted to share how I'm not feeling my age and I wondered if anyone else felt like I do. I do count my blessings every day. Life if short, I just never realized how time really flies.
Mary

Snowing · 10-07-2004, 03:31 PM

I feel the same as you. My husband always says you are only as old as you feel. It's funny but in my 20's I think I dressed older but now that I am older I am dressing younger. I must be doing something right because I get lots of compliments.