Thanks for all the help, but.... - Menopause Message Board

catluvr4 · 01-09-2005, 06:36 PM

I won't be coming back. You ladies have been wonderful in trying to help me, but I think I'm treatment resistant. Maybe there is more going on than just peri, but I don't know what. It seems my symptoms are so much worse than many women here. I mean, I don't think anyone else has anxiety so bad that an article in the paper about someone dying creates more anxiety and fears. The same with reading something about illnesses and diseases. Plus, all of a sudden, I'm afraid of being alone.

My life has become too messed up to be peri, because It's hard to believe that a few hormones can cause all those problems. Do I believe that life will get better when things settle down? Not anymore. Plus, I understand that the anxiety is going to get worse once the periods stop, and I just can't handle anymore of this stuff.

Thanks to all of you; you have been wonderful. I'll be forever greatful for being there when I needed you.

Much love,
CAT

Hopefully · 01-09-2005, 08:09 PM

CAT I don't know if you'll come back to read this post, but I just wanted to let you know that everything that you expressed about the anxiety, the fear of reading anything negative or seeing anything negative, the fear that I'm quite ill, the fear of being alone, not allowing my husband to go to work, or having my children remain home with me because of all the fear, the spacey feeling, I've had it all. Like yourself I also thought no one at this site fully understand or has felt the fear and depression that I've dealt with, but I was extremely wrong. I took a brief medical leave of absence from my job because of the constant panic attacks, fear, and everything that you expressed. Now I'm back at work, doing well, preparing to return to college and continuing with my life. If it can happen to me it's possible for everyone.

I tried many antidepressants and although they got me off the sofa they didn't help me to feel like myself. It wasn't until I applied that first hormone patch that I felt a peace and wellbeing that I hadn't felt in months. My doctor kept telling me that it had to be something else since the antidepressants weren't working and she was correct. Thank God for hormones.

Yes, it's difficult to believe that hormones could cause this, but for many women it does. Of course it's wise to see your doctor and have blood work and other lab work done. I could write you a novel about what I've experienced because of my hormones. Recently, my ob/gyn called me with the results from my blood work and my estradiol level was <15, the range is 19-500. Mine was so low that it didn't register. I was soooooo glad to hear the my level was <15, because finally it was registering what I've always suspected.

I hope that you read this post, and continue to seek support from others who understand, if not here then somewhere else. I pray that you regain you health, peace, and joy.

kittenlover · 01-09-2005, 08:28 PM

I am so sorry you are feeling like this. Everyone experiences symptoms differently and everyone has a different threshold for this stuff.
WHen I had my bout of anxiety, I was terrified to go out and even getting in the car was horrific once we got out of the driveway. I never took meds but told DH that if it lasted any longer I would. I am not sure what happened, but as quickly as it came, it left....I cannot believe it wasn't hormones. I've had a few brief episodes, but know that feeling well....and yes, reading about something or even noticing a mole that wasn't there before can set you off to worry beyond belief.
I hope you speak to your doctor about this....life should be enjoyed and I know you are not alone.
Thoughts and prayers to you for speedy resolution.

1awesomegranny · 01-10-2005, 05:45 AM

Cat,
My thoughts and prayers are with you...I went through almost a year of what you are going through now and it's not pleasant. I too thought I was messed up beyond belief, thought I was dying, thought every little lump, bump, mole, ache, pain, EVERYTHING was a symptom of something horrible. There were days when I wanted to go to work or to my son's to visit only because I knew there would be someone there to take care of me when I died...seriously. I haven't been to the doc in over a year, not because I feel wonderful, but because I just don't care much anymore, what's gonna happen is gonna happen and I'm tired of tests and meds and counseling. For me it just makes things muddier. I do know that we are living in such an "information" society that every day something new is on TV or in the newspaper/magazines that is said to be harmful or deadly to us and I for one just feel overloaded with all of it. It's not easy some days to get up and get going and there have been lots of days that I couldn't. In my case I think it was the hormones that started it and then anxiety caused by the unfamiliar feelings made it worse....no matter how hard you try, sometimes you can't make your mind and body do what you want until they're ready to. I for one have a really hard time accepting that.
I know that isn't much help or comfort, but I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone in this and I'll feel bad if you leave this list, but I understand. I just hope someday you'll come back because you are always welcome here, I think of it as a safe, reassuring place.
Take care,
Conni

BeckyW · 01-10-2005, 07:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by catluvr4

Maybe there is more going on than just peri, but I don't know what. It seems my symptoms are so much worse than many women here. I mean, I don't think anyone else has anxiety so bad that an article in the paper about someone dying creates more anxiety and fears. The same with reading something about illnesses and diseases. Plus, all of a sudden, I'm afraid of being alone.

My life has become too messed up to be peri, because It's hard to believe that a few hormones can cause all those problems. Do I believe that life will get better when things settle down?
Much love,
CAT

CAT,

Please don't leave us. I know you must be so confused right now. So am I!

Maybe I've not conveyed my symptoms well, and I don't want to try to equate them to you, but I've had/am having sooo much of what you describe. You are not alone!

Only a month ago I was feeling SO down and so scared...the slightest noise was sending me through the roof... I couldn't STAND to read or watch the news or any movie with sadness or violence. Only comedy and 'feel good' stuff, and even then it was hard to concentrate/enjoy.
In a period of about a week I went from feeling fatigued and nervous to feeling hopeless, like 'this will never end',very shaky and and having to try so HARD to to deal with normal every day stuff. Just before I went to the doctor, there were a few days that I think I only managed to hold it together because I had to function for my kids. Realizing I needed some help just added more fear and anxiety, and depression. But it did start to get better gradually.

You're very wise to consider that peri may not be the only thing going on. My sister is dealing with all this too, and she firmly believes it's not just hormones, but anxiety disorder triggered by hormonal changes. My mother also had some anxiety problems at my age, and didn't go through meno til 54.
I began to think maybe I should go to the mental health boards instead of here, but I realized that these two things CAN go hand in hand. Doing some reading, I've learned that our 'emotional brain' is separate from our 'intellectual' brain. The emotional brain controls things like fear/sleep/ anxiety, hormones, etc. It has very little 'crossover' into things like language and analytical thinking that humans have developed over thousands ofyears.

All of my symptoms have been with me for several years in PMS form, just not as severe,or long lasting until the last few months. I don't think it's a coincidence that after a few weeks of feeling better, I'm having a couple of bad days now, just before my period is due. I feel like I could sleep for a month, but as soon as I close my eyes I seem to have NO ability to relax or calm, like my brain doesn't want to turn off. So the docs and I still have some work to do to achieve therapeutic levels of treatment.

You're having some bad days, and sound so down right now, but please don't give up. I encourage you to explore everything you're going through with the appropriate doctors. And PLEASE stay here and let us know how you're doing, and just to vent. It DOES help. Even if we can't all identify with your symptoms, WE CARE ABOUT YOU!

Take Care of Yourself,
BeckyW.