Got your post on the other thread but thought I'd start another peri anxiety one as it seems to be a prevalent thing for all of us!!
Thanks for your posting and I did write you another note (don't know if you saw it) under the Happy Birthday Molly thread. In it I mentioned I was doing a bit better, and am trying to quell the anxiety.
I have read the posts too regarding the colonoscopy and that is not as bad as we think and that is what I have heard too from others. As I mentioned to the person who had it in her 30s and they found pre cancerous polyps, I do understand that it is important for preventative measures. She asked me and others in her last post (you may have seen it) why so many of us are so worked up over this one exam. she has had more than a few and sees it as a routine thing like our paps or mammograms. Which of course she is right. I do not know how to explain to her or anyone why I or anyone gets so stressed over that exam or others.
Jude replied to me that she had this kind of anxiety and waited till 50 to get her mammogram. Certainly they say we all should do it at 40 or older but you know sometimes we are just so stressed we cannot function right or how we normally would. I appreciated hearing her struggle with the mammogram as it seems to be mine with the colonoscopy. You are right it is the fear of the unknown perhaps that gets to us all, I don't know. I do think the kind of peri anxiety I am having is NOT like what I go thru normally with my routine tests. SO I do think if i had never had a pap at this age or a mammogram I would be stressing about those too or if I had to get a heart stress test (which I have not had and they recommend too for over 50) I'd be stressing the same way as my anxiety is higher than it normally is. So it is not just the usual type of stress if you know what I mean nor perhaps that specific exam.
As you said since my insurance and a lot of others also are not covering it all it just is something that one waits on in that case, and I hope that it is not going to be harmful to do so but am trying not to stress. The person at the clinic went thru symptoms with me as she knew my insurance did not cover it fully and it was just routine and although one does not want to wait for bad symptoms of course, I do know that there are some to look for. I do not have them. And if I was whether it is covered or not, one goes to get it done whatever the exam. You are right that most doctors suggest it at 50 or over as a baseline and the person at the clinic did say there are a lot of people who come in at any time in their 50s. Anyway, I am trying to just focus on the fact that it is no different than last year, as far as coverage and also I am not feeling any different than last year either as far as symptoms. It was mentioned routinely if it is covered, that is all.
Regarding my anxiety and fatigue , yes trying to work on that. I am less fatigued and I think that is because I am trying to be less stressed. Stressing can sure drain you!! lol!! I do not feel as stable emotionally as I was let's say last June thru this Jan. and feel somewhat like I did last year, early in the year, when I had a bad bout of peri anxiety/stress. It is interesting you had those symtpoms too.
The fatigue I have heard so many talk about, and some say it is "crashing fatigue" I have only felt that when I am stressing and feeling emotionally unfit with my anxiety or right before my period or when I should be getting my period at times. You said Penny is experiencing fatigue and I know others are too. Refresh my memory about when you last got your period? Mine was this month and it was at day 27, before that at day 49.
As far as what my anxiety feels like : I do sometimes get the internal shakiness you are talking about, like being nervous from the inside out. It is not like I am shaking (although that happened to me once last month), but it is that I feel emotionally shaky when I stress. I just obsess more too and when I do my hands get kind of cold and I feel very tired by it all.
I do find that in the morning when I wake up it is worse as far as feeling anxious or down. I focus on things, like if I have gas I focus on that as a for instance. i am trying to get out of that!! I did that last year and it did fade so hopefully it will this time!!
I am taking the xanax as it was recommended to me, which is more regular and that is what I did last year and then weaned off of it and was fine in doing so. The doctor was not concerned with the way I am taking it and it does help, yes. Helps more so when I am at home and can take a full one. I can't take a full one usually during the day as it makes me a bit drowsy. I am sleeping fine. Last night I did not take one at night and I slept fine.(I took one after dinner). Takes awhile at times to get to sleep but as a rule I sleep okay.
Thanks for thinking of me and asking about me. How are you doing??????
thanks for all your help always. It is calming to me!!
Hi RMC,
I think I'll stick with this thread and make my replies to you...things are getting a bit confusing for the old lady (me)! here (LOL!)...
As with the colonoscopy - I agree with Jude in one of her postings that often the first time, things are scary. We are often not just fearful of the test itself, but often also fearful of the results. Let's face it, as we get older, we know we are going to have deal w/more health issues which means probably more drs. appts., tests, results, even hospitalization, and so forth. This is why I dread getting older but I know there's absolutely nothing I can do about it either. We are still at the age when we can take some preventive measures (healthy eating, exercise, safety, etc.) so that we can all live a ripeful old age without too much suffering. Good genes have a lot to do with things too. Sometimes things just happens too and no one knows why. So you can't be worrying and prediciting you might have something just b/c you know someone else did. Each person's lifestyle and health condition is different too. I have faith in you to get the colonscopy when you are ready. In the meantime, don't feel bad or guilty if you don't have it done right now. I am still waiting to hear back from the receptionist to schedule my appt.
As with your anxiety - try taking big deep breaths! Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Concentrate on your breathing so you don't focus on the anxiety. I find that taking deep breaths help a lot! Also, when you have a chance, try to meditate a little - sit up and close your eyes and think of nothing. Do this in a quiet room. When I was suffering from anxiety, these are some of the things I did. I also got a relaxation tape for anxiety which I listened to at night when laying in bed. The voice is often soothing and teaches you to relax.
You asked when I had my last period. It was in June 04 and prior to that it was Nov. 03. So, I think I am right in target with my menopause - my mom went thru it at age 52 - the same age that I am now. You should be easing off of yours pretty soon, esp. if you've been at day 49 plus you're soon to be 51. Do you know when you mom went thru hers?
When I was feeling really bad, I too was very obsessed with how I was feeling. I didn't find this board at that time and I thought I alone w/these symtpoms and had every living disease out there. I kept notes to see if there was any chance of any pattern - but there wasn't. Out of the 5 mos. when I was at my worse, I only had my period 2 out of those 5 mos. I didn't feel better even then. But, things did get better so tell yourself it's just menopause!! Try not to dwell on how you're feeling (easier said than done, but try!).
You asked how I am doing. I'm fine - I really should be working some! LOL! These boards can get addicting!!
Thought I'd sneak in on the anxious old chookies section hehehehe. Molly you're a legend sticking around to let us know we can get through this and revert to feeling normal again. Oh to wake up one morning full of life, feeling like the sexy old Granny I felt like just a few short months ago. I am suffering from lack of enthusiasm for life these days. Each day seems to be a chore. I'm happy enough in my own way, but don't have motivation to do much at all. e.g. I love cooking, and right now it is dinner time - and I couldn't care less whether we eat today, tomorrow or next week! I seem to sigh a lot lol. As for sex, I'd happily read a book while he got on with it. I've always been a rather enthusiastic partner, and so hope the libido hits again with full force.
My periods recently went to manageable Oct, Nov and Dec, with no flooding yayyyy - nothing for 65 days - then my lightest ever, and 26 days later the heaviest of my life. I'm already dreading Sunday which is when it is due again, although so far no warning signs! I'm 51, and my Mum always used to say she was 52 when she went through menopause, which I presume means her last period.
As for the anxiety, like you, my answer to why is - darned if I know! After all if we had the answer we'd fix it. Two things that help me are a very dear friend who always listens, and helps me rationalise things and get them into better persepective. Not bad for a bloke! The other thing is to imagine a blackboard with the number 25 on it, and slowly count backwards, picturing each number. Takes your mind off the problem. I also will tell myself at times - STOP IT!
I have to go for a smear in the next few weeks. How about you go for whatever you need to do and we can support one another. **smile**
Would be nice if this board had the facility to send a private message and we could talk together more easily.
But we are doing fine - we will survive - we will again feel like the desirable women we know we are. A dearly departed friend of mine used to say - and this too will pass - right on!!
Hi Jude,
I stick around here because I don't have a life! LOL! Plus, I feel I have developed some friendships here. And, if I left, I feel I might be abandoning some of the ladies when they really need reassurance that things can get back to normal for them. Due to the rules on these boards, unfortunately these friendships seem to not be able to go beyond these boards. Since the invention of the Internet and list messages, I have actually became friends with couple of other ladies I met through our common interest (our dogs!). I have gone and met them and we have been friends now to close to 10 years now! I am one who is true and sincere when it comes to friends.
I am so glad you jumped in and posted. I hate to make others on this board think that they can't participate because some of us have this 'conversation' going. There's no intention of being clicky here! As with your lack of enthusiasm - hey, it's pretty normal. I think if you talk to others in our age range, you will find it fairly common. I am the same way lots of times. I could care less of doing chores and if I don't feel like doing something, I just tell myself it can get done later. If things are a mess and dirty, at least it's my own mess and dirt! LOL! My dishes sit in the sink lots of times!
Hey, if someone wants to eat, they have legs/arms and can cook for themselves or go out and get takeout - it's the easiest (unless of course it is a young child - then you got to get off your butt and do some feeding). You sigh a lot because you're probably tired. I see myself doing the same thing! You are 51 and have probably moved mountains and swam oceans so you need a break now! LOL! I bet you've accomplished and done a lot in your life and it's just time now for you to start thinking more of yourself. Take time for yourself!! As with sex, IMO there's more to life than sex. Is hubby getting upset over your lack of enthusiasm?
If your mum went thru meno at 52, that could mean your period will start really changing soon and it seems like it already started. It will get to the point where you can't predict when you will get it. Don't you just hate going for your smear (pap)? I'm sure you're not as much of a chicken as I am! LOL! I do get anxiety when I have to get mine!
You seem to be holding up pretty good...do you have other symptoms? Are you taking any meds/vits?
Hey RMC,
Just thought I tell you that I took some Motrin last night and did find it worked pretty good! It's weird because I remember taking it before and it didn't help my achy joints much. It seems like I have to alternate these OTC pain relievers LOL! I was taking Aleve and lately it seem to not help anymore, then I switched to coated aspirin and lately it didn't seem to help much either. Anyway, I woke up feeling OK - not as stiff as before so maybe the Motrin is the way to go for a while. Even my aches and pain seem to change from day to day.
It good you mentioned that your therapist said vacuuming is the worst for the illiac crest area. I notice a big difference whenever I vacuum - total stiffness, achy. I feel like I can't bend over! LOL! I hate vacuuming anyway - am thinking of getting rid of my carpets one day anyway! I have 38 stairs to vacuum too! ugh!!
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