What am I missing? - Menopause Message Board

seekingnormal05 · 09-20-2005, 04:02 PM

I've read quite a few posts here where people are celebrating getting into meno and working their way to the 12 month marker.

Why is that? What don't I get about this.

My periods, since about age 25, have been no big deal. Yes, they are a bother but just a part of the female drill. (Prior to that I had absolutely horrid cramps/vomiting/dizzynes...wouldn't have wished it on my worst enemy.)

I see menopause as the start of something worse than periods. Hot flashes, irregular periods you can't plan around, having to decide about the major things like HRT, feeling tired....well, you all know the list. And my experience has been, in talking to friends, 12 months is a falacy. One woman I am close to has been having hot flashes, miserable ones, for years.

So why are women happy about this? I feel kind of dumb. Like I'm missing the punch line of a joke.

kittenlover · 09-20-2005, 04:51 PM

First, you are lucky having easy periods. I am lucky as well...cross fingers, thus far.
Second, many women want to be in menopause because that means all the stuff you mentioned is DONE! Menopause is the 1 year anniversary of ZERO periods...so think of it, not only do you eliminate periods (for those who have bad ones), you limit the amount of other symptoms you will experience.

Sure, there are other issues, but it is simply a transition of life...just like acne and puberty were, LOL

rmc12 · 09-20-2005, 05:00 PM

Hi,

I am one of the people that is "counting down" so to speak to the 12th "month marker". I have not had my period since July 5th.

You asked why one would be "celebrating" going into menopause. Well I never thought I would either, since I was quite misinformed till I hit my mid to late 40s. ( I am 51). I thought that menopause itself was going to be just what you described: Irregular periods, hot flashes and moodswings. What I did not realize is that the TIME BEFORE MENOPAUSE , which is "perimenopause" is when a large majority of women go thru these things. I am one of them and I am here to tell you it is not fun!!

Let me backtrack a bit though..you are quite fortunate that your periods since about "age 25" have "been no big deal". Some women are not so lucky and also once one is in perimenopause their periods do get worse at times and I am also one of those people that have experienced this. My periods were a piece of cake before peri, compared to what I have had the past couple years.
My periods for the most part were as you said "part of the female drill" although I usually had every few months a very very tough one with very bad PMS.

But once my mid 40s to late 40s hit and I became perimenopausal my periods became irregular, I experienced nightsweats, very long and very hard pms, gastric symptoms, and anxiety that I never ever experienced even in my worse case of PMS. THere are a host of other symptoms that go way beyond just hot flashes and if you read these boards you see that a lot of women in peri are dealing with a variety of things.

There have been several women who have made it past "the 12 month marker" and reading their posts and also seeing family members who are thru with this stage, has been very encouraging as although they may have hot flashes for awhile or other symptoms it is not as bad as what they went thru leading up to it.

The problem as I see it is that all of our life we have been trained to think that Menopause is when we are going to go thru this all and really as my gyn has said it is the time before that, leading up to it that is "the change" and is like she put it " a long pms". There is a book called the Pause that goes thru all the peri symptoms and what women can be dealing with at this time if you are interested in it.

Last year was the worst for me with my periods and the fact that I turned 50 puts me , by my very age, in perimenopause. So all the changes in my period are to be expected, I know that. I felt I had very garden variety periods for the most part before I hit perimenopause as I said , with some tough ones now and then. But I was not prepared for all the symptoms that one can have during this time and so yes I am counting down now and somewhat celebrating that I have not had it since July as right now at 3:50 Pacific Standard time I am feeling rather okay!! It is not always like that at all for me or others, and I know firsthand it is not going to always be like that in this peri ride, (it may change in an hour in fact!! ) but from what I see the other side holds hope that things will get better. And after all we are all just as your username states ...."seekingnormal".

Take care,

rmc

seekingnormal05 · 09-20-2005, 06:31 PM

RMC,

THANK YOU so much for such an excellent reply.

That all makes sense.

Yes, now that you explain that it's the peri stage that's more likely to be the problem, it makes more sense that women are anxious to see that 12 month marker.

You know, after my post, I got to thinking about things. I've had to have 2 d&c's in my 30's due to terrible bleeding and, as I said, from 6th grade until after college, I was sicker than a dog for a day every month. Yet I see it as not having been so bad.

But I think it was okay for me to tolerate because it was predictable. And it feels like so much of what will be heading my way now is no longer predictable.

Your kind response helps me understand a lot!!!

rmc12 · 09-20-2005, 10:03 PM

Hi,

Glad I could help.

Yes a lot of us are anxious to reach that 12 month marker. Not to say that it doesn't mean that there are symptoms we will encounter after that. But when one is going thru such a hard time in perimenopause it is helpful to know that with the stopping of one's periods some of the stuff will be relieved. Luckily on these boards there have been posters who attest to that.

It sounds like you had a very rough time of it from 6th grade till after college so you know how bad periods can be. Interesting you said you see it as not having been that bad though!! And then what you went thru in your 30s too. Sounds like you have been thru a lot. Do you still have the heavy bleeding?

I know what you mean about things being so unpredictable in peri and menopause. I think that is the scary part and also anxiety producing part. I have found being in this stage that the only thing to expect at times is change!! I can be feeling one way one week and another the next. A new symptom one month and then it is gone. The only thing that really helps the most are books like the Pause and also most of all this board where I can see that I am not alone in all of this. So when I am feeling bad or yucky I know it is just perimenopause and try to get thru it.

Hope this all helps you.

Take care,

rmc