i need help - Menopause Message Board

chillijava · 12-12-2005, 02:09 AM

i feel soooooo depressed most of the time i cant get into doing anything, my husband, who upto now has been a real brick, says he cant take anymore of this and if i dont pull myself together he is going to leave.
i really do try to get myself going, but i keep telling him this is not me its my hormones and i cant help it.
i cant take antidepressants as they make me worse.
i am so frightened this will not get better and i am going to have to face this alone.
does it all pass in time and would hrt help

MommaBee · 12-12-2005, 02:28 AM

Not a very understanding husband, I must say.

It isn't that you can't 'pull yourself together'...You have a inbalance in your brain and need to find a antidepressant that works for you. What anti-depressants have you taken? Maybe you should go see a counselor or doctor about this. Never hurts to go talk to someone. I think it is awful that you have to deal with your husband not supporting you through this time. It is hard enough without that making it harder on you. Do you drink or take any other drugs? Alcohol can make you even more depressed, as can alot of drugs. You might try taking some B vitamins also.
Take care and do get some help with this...there is a light at the end!

Former a Depressed, PeriMenopausal Woman

I C Hot · 12-12-2005, 08:24 AM

Chillijava, Remember that you are not alone. Keep posting and you will find some of the most understanding women. They also have lots of information. For myself, I have been on HRT for a few months now. HRT's are not for everyone and you should ask your doctor about the risks. I plan on not being on it for a long time but just needed to regain myself. It has made alot of difference for me, not more energy though. But I do feel like a human again. As for the depression, I would recommend taking Omega 3. I was having panic attacks and some depression and started taking Flax, Fish, and Borage oil from Wal Mart. Not expensive but really helped. I started giving it to my hubby for his depression and it made a big difference. He now gets out of the recliner and gets some chores done. Hope things get better for you. Take care, Julie

molly123 · 12-12-2005, 09:47 AM

Chillijava,
I am so sorry that you're having a bad time. I can totally understand what you mean by not into doing anything. I was the same way. I would sit there and nothing would interest me and there was no energy to do anything! This was 24/7. Of course, I was also feeling so bad (had lots of symptoms) at the time and couldn't focus on anything but what was going on with me. It doesn't make it any better that your husband isn't understanding and supportive.

You don't think this kind of threat right now! I agree with MommaBee's post that there's an imbalance in the brain - yeh! it's amazing but that's what peri does to you! It doesn't mean you have some mental or emotional issues necessarily either nor did you do or not do something. It's the fluctuating hormones which is really capable of making it really bad for some of us and there's is absolutely no way to control it.

I didn't feel better until I was put on Paxil CR. I was put on Wellbutrin first but it didn't agree with me. Sometimes you have to trial and error before one works for you. Of course, side effects and the peri symptoms isn't going to make it easy. I am still on the Paxil and even tho there are horror stories about taking AD, I feel it has been a lifesaver for me. Desperate times meant desperate measures!

Did you get these books "Before the Change"? This book lists "peri-zappers" - a lot of supplements you can take. Antoher book is "The Pause" - easy to read and will help you understand what you're going thru. Do keep us posted on how you are doing and what route you will take!!

molly

jitteryme · 12-12-2005, 11:06 AM

Have you considered counseling? You said that you've tried antidepressants and they didn't help. I'm the same way. But I have found that sometimes just having someone to talk to that understands what you're going through is a BIG help. An outsider can often see things and make suggestions that may not have occurred to you. I hope you're feeling better soon.