Feeling lost - Menopause Message Board

poslusny55 · 12-23-2005, 02:07 AM

Hi again everyone. I am feeling so scared, frightened. I feel so insecure, jealous. I can't control myself any more. My stomach is so bloated all the time any more, even when I'm not eating. So of course, I look on line and see bloating is also a symptoms of ovarian cancer. I had the scope done to my stomach already and I don't have anything, no GERD, hernia, nothing. I have every symptom of it. They are treating me as if I have IBS.

Now a new thing that has just happened out of the clear is pain in the back of my heel. It is really painful. I don't know what to do to come back to my self. I am so sad. I can't even figure out what I want to write at this time. If anyone can help please do so.

Thanks

nornie · 12-23-2005, 08:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poslusny55

Hi again everyone. I am feeling so scared, frightened. I feel so insecure, jealous. I can't control myself any more. My stomach is so bloated all the time any more, even when I'm not eating. So of course, I look on line and see bloating is also a symptoms of ovarian cancer. I had the scope done to my stomach already and I don't have anything, no GERD, hernia, nothing. I have every symptom of it. They are treating me as if I have IBS.

Now a new thing that has just happened out of the clear is pain in the back of my heel. It is really painful. I don't know what to do to come back to my self. I am so sad. I can't even figure out what I want to write at this time. If anyone can help please do so.

Thanks

Dear Poslusny,

I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. I can say that you sound just like me exactly 3 years ago this month. I have such a clear memory of trimming the Christmas tree with tears streaming down my face - I just felt so awful. Also suffered from the major bloating which, like you, freaked me out. I had upper and lower GI tests, and pelvic ultrasounds. All came out fine. But the terrible physical feelings as well as emotional sadness did not leave. I had the bloating and urinary irritation. I remember having to cancel the ultrasound the first time because there is no way in heck I could have held 32 ounces of water in my bladder, I could barely hold 8 ounces! In retrospect, it was all peri. I hadn't had a period for 6 months at that time, then had another 7 months later. So my hormones were all still going every which way.

Have you had a pelvic ultrasound? You might want to get one just to put your mind at ease.

Oh, I also did have the heel pain!!! That actually came later. Is it on the bottom of the heel? I've read that plantar fascitis (sp?) is very common at peri (also learned that later) but I bought some orthotic inserts, and cut back a bit on my walking until it finally healed (about 3-4 months). Exercise is good for us though, so if it's hard to walk with the heel pain, do find an alternative - swimming, lifting weights, anything. The worst thing we can do at this time is sit around. It's not good for the hormones or our emotions.

I know the feeling of sadness, some ladies here have had success with anti-depressants, of course they come with their own side effects so you have to decide what's best for you. Massive doses of fish oil seem to really help with depression too (also good for many other things!) if you're not taking that it really is worth trying. Just keep the pills in the freezer to elimilnate the "fishy" taste.

Hope some of this helps you. Write whenever you feel like. We've all been there - it's a long road. I'm sending you a big cyber hug!!!

Nornie

bonib · 12-23-2005, 09:32 AM

Hi Posluny and Nornie,

I know exactly how you feel. I had to drag myself out of bed this a.m. I mean literally drag my self out. I had been awake for about 2 hours and all I could do was cry. I cried all day yesterday. I have no energy and motivation. I know I need to exercise and I just can't seem to get to that point.

I don't know what is going on with my body and no one can figure it out. I hadn't had a period since June and then I had one last week so I don't know if that is making me more emotional or if it is something else. I have been having burning in vaginal area. I went away when I was on period but came back first day after period stopped. I have premarin cream to start. I used it the night before I started and now I don't know if this brought on period.

I went to the eye Dr. on Tuesday. I have been having problems with horizontal nystagmus. My visual field moves back and forth constantly. I have had it for over a year and it seems to be getting worse. I have had all kinds of test including a spinal tap. They can't seem to figure it out. Brain mri did show white spots but they don't seem to be to concerned about that. On Wednesday Dr. said he still sees it but still doesn't know what the cause is. But he says it is neurological and I already know this can be indicitive of a problem with the brain. I can blame most of my symptoms on peri meno pause, but not this one. I don't see Dr. until June. I have just basically been sent home to wait and see if another symptom pops up. I already know there is basically nothing they can do for nystagmus. But it is usually not the primary problem. But I'm so afraid the next symptom will make it worse and that will be not be fixable. I have been to so many specialist and no one can help me and I don't know where to turn any more.

I know if I wasn't in the throes of peri I probably could fight this more and be stronger. But right now all I want to do is curl up in a ball. I have always been stronger than this. Always able to face everything head on. But not this time. Gosh! I am so sorry for rambling on. But when I saw this post I knew I could talk to someone who would understand how scared and alone I feel. Thank you for that. Take care everyone and have a merry Christmas!

Bonnie

ainfante · 12-23-2005, 09:32 AM

Hi there. Bloating is a normal process of perimenopause. I know exactly how you feel coz I have it right now. Had an ultrasound and everything was normal. I was even convinced I was pregnant, lost my period back in August, not here yet. I usually do skip a month and half or so but not this long. On the road to maturity, I guess. Do not feel bad your stomach is bloated, i know it'a nusance but it's normal and you're not alone. I know this feeling of being lonely and afraid, it's a very scarey thing...this peri. Is everything else normal, periods, etc.???? or do u have other symptoms of peri? I haven't been here in a while and I am leaving town soon for 11 days but I do have some time to post before I leave.

Andrea

viktik · 12-23-2005, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poslusny55

Hi again everyone. I am feeling so scared, frightened. I feel so insecure, jealous. I can't control myself any more. My stomach is so bloated all the time any more, even when I'm not eating. So of course, I look on line and see bloating is also a symptoms of ovarian cancer. I had the scope done to my stomach already and I don't have anything, no GERD, hernia, nothing. I have every symptom of it. They are treating me as if I have IBS.

Now a new thing that has just happened out of the clear is pain in the back of my heel. It is really painful. I don't know what to do to come back to my self. I am so sad. I can't even figure out what I want to write at this time. If anyone can help please do so.

Thanks

Dear Poslusny,

You are not alone! I am very small (5' 2" and 97 lbs.) and I have the bloating too. It is so uncomfortable and is one of the worst symptoms of peri to me. I'm sure you are fine since your tests came back clear. I too have started having the pain in my heels, and well as the constant buzzing in my feet. I have had so many wierd feelings in my body since peri started, and my doctor says I will be having regular periods for quite a while yet! I have calmed down a bit and have gotten used to not really ever feeling normal. Our emotions are greatly affected during this time too, so the sadness that you feel is normal, and I'm sure overwhelming at times. It has been for me. I am single, so I don't have any male support, but I have a sweet family, dear friends, and a doctor who is sweet and cares. He called here at home today.

I do hope you will feel better, and can enjoy Christmas!

Lynn