Re: Is hating your husband a symptom of peri-meno??
LOL Misty. I don't think "hating your husband" is a symptom, but yes, I've had those awful "almost demonic" feelings too. .....Giddy's head spins around....
Seriously, one minute you love him, next minute you hate him.
Think now, the little things that irritate the heck outta you...now your husband is one of those little things. If he doesn't put softener sheets in the dryer, if he vacuums everyroom downstairs and it takes less than 5 minutes, if he rinses out a cup instead of washing it and puts it back in the cupboard, if he cross-contaminates when he cooks or leaves toast crumbs in the butter, throws his Hane's on the floor when the basket is 2 inches away, basically ANYTHING that he does, and it pisses ya off....yeah that's peri-menopause.
One night I got so mad at my husband (he woke me up in the middle of the night) and I hollered at him "I hate you....most of the time..." just like I would say to my dad when I was a little kid. LMAO.
I don't know why I was feeling so angry towards my husband. He treats me like a queen. He gives me foot rubs after work almost daily, he's always happy and good-looking, very witty, women would love to have him, every friend of mine is envious of the way he treats me. Gosh, after that outburst of mine that night, I felt about a 1/2" tall. I told my g/f's at work what I did and they know him and told me to "quit treating him like....crap", and that I am really lucky. So now when I obsess about the things he does, I keep my mouth shut and chalk it up to "peri-menopause-madness" and remind myself that in the morning it won't be this bad and I will feel stupid for even thinking this way (even though my heart is pumping so hard and my face is turning red and sweat is running down my neck).
Even though the hormones are causing you to feel this way, think and rationalize why you feel this way. Has he changed? Or have you changed and you are less tolerant of his behavior? Or are your hormones running (or ruining) your life? If you feel that they are ruining your life then talk to your Dr.
I think if most women responded to this, you'd find it a common thing with peri.
Re: Is hating your husband a symptom of peri-meno??
Quote:
Originally Posted by Linma2428
I agree with hating your husband and perimenopause. I am in that group.
Linda M
Count me in. I also have at least two other girlfriends (same age) who would also join the group. I think it might be best if we could all be shipped off to a spa in the Caribbean for the 5-10 years before it's all over. That way will would not be a danger to our marriages.
Re: Is hating your husband a symptom of peri-meno??
I think I am a danger to my marriage right now, and it's scaring me. I hate everyone and I'm really sick of feeling this way. I have never been a ****** like this before.....
I think part of it is insecurity. I'm feeling insecure over aging issues since peri hit. Anybody catch my post on the new mustache I'm getting real nice.
At 43 I feel like I'm turning into an old woman. I feel like it's all downhill from here.... somebody please tell me it isn't....
I hate to say this because I don't wish any of you to be in this boat.... but venting here has helped, and it also helps that I'm not alone in this.
What do you guys do when your husband is on your last nerve and you know that it's at least part hormonal??
Re: Is hating your husband a symptom of peri-meno??
Hey Misty,
I think that there are many women that feel that towards their husbands as you are finding out. Ahhh, men, they are so skiddish around us when we are hormonal. Then they try to "*****-foot" around us and act differently wondering how they should act, and then we question why they are acting like that. Then we can call them wimps and they are not the "same man" we married. Yikes! Vicious circle.
I know so many women that have left their husbands after going thru this. We women are changing, our bodies, we are now experiencing emotions that we haven't felt so severely till now.
Our bodies are changing, our children are almost grown up and now we are feeling that we need some time to ourselves.
So do something for you. A lot of women change the eating habits, start exercising, find a different job, go out with friends. We gave a lot of that up when we were raising our kids.
Right now, when I wanted to do something outta the ordinary my husband would object, but now, he just says, do what ya gotta do "cause he wants me to be happy. So remember the old question, "would ya be happier without him, OR with him?" I plead both. So, now, when I need to be w/o him and need "me time" I will do it and when I need to be with him I will be there too.
If you're feeling depressed, ask yourself what would make YOU happy? What are some of the things you've always wanted to do? And then just do them.
Your family won't die or go away because you want to make yourself happy.
Set some goals for yourself and you'll feel so much better making yourself happy. Afterall, you've spent your life making THEM happy, now it's time to make you happy.
Re: Is hating your husband a symptom of peri-meno??
Yes, if you feel like it's a reactionary thing like Gittyup was talking about (all soooo true). Unfortunately, for our husbands/families they are in the line of fire when the hormones are blazing. I actually once threw a piece of celery at my husband while I was making a salad and he happened to be the one who set me off! I normally wouldn't throw a spec of dust at a fly, let alone do something to my beloved husband. It's interesting to me now, but my stepson came to live with us last summer. He is 18 and a senior in HS and all of my bi***y feelings seemed to be transferred to him. I do hide it, but everything he does drives me crazy (right down to the toast crumbs in the butter!!)
I just have to keep reminding myself that under normal circumstances, this would all just slide off my shoulders. But where do I vent my frustrations? Ugh!
Re: Is hating your husband a symptom of peri-meno??
From a man's observation: I had to smile at the memories I had concerning this very subject. It has been a couple of years now, but I still shudder when I think of those days. My wonderful wife had the same symptoms that you lovely ladies are describing. When I came home I would tip-toe into the house and check the mood. Many times there would be trick questions...no matter what answer I gave it would be the wrong answer and then watch out. It got so bad that I was contemplating a separation. I finally sat down with her and explained my confusion and that we had to do something. She has a high stress job and that added to the problems. She understood and went to her doctor (a female) and explained our situation. The doctor prescribed Effexor XR an antidepressant that not only helped her emotionally, but also helped with the dreded hot flashes. Communication is the key to this and just understanding what she is going through helps me work through this. (One reason I am reading this thread) So ladies don't hate your husbands because they really do not understand what is happening. Sit them down and have a heart to heart and you will be surprised how it will help. Sorry to interrupt. Have a great day.
Re: Is hating your husband a symptom of peri-meno??
Siouxlander: Thanks for your input about communication because I believe it's really the key in getting through this for couples. Not just for husbands, but for us ladies as well. I spent my whole adult life on birth control pills and NEVER had PMS. When I married my husband 10 years ago, I was 37 and shortly after went off the pill. Within a year I started having fairly mild, but ever so noticeable, peri menopause symptoms, the main one being mood swings. It took us/me several years to recognize what was happening and probably even another couple of years for us to be able to talk about it rationally. This past year has been pure hell for me and I honestly don't know what I would have done without my husband's support. Even when things are bad, I can even joke about it sometimes because I know he understands and still loves me. Awwwww....
Re: Is hating your husband a symptom of peri-meno??
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistyeyze
Just answer the question.
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!
Oh my gosh, I almost dropped my laptop! HAHAHA!!! Thank you for that laugh though!
I don't know about this symptom, but I haven't experienced hating my BF and I hope I don't. HAHAHA!!! But it sure would be funny if or when I do! HAHAHA!!!
Re: Is hating your husband a symptom of peri-meno??
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistyeyze
I think part of it is insecurity. I'm feeling insecure over aging issues since peri hit. Anybody catch my post on the new mustache I'm getting real nice.
At 43 I feel like I'm turning into an old woman. I feel like it's all downhill from here.... somebody please tell me it isn't....
Dear Misty,
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way... honestly, it's all up to you whether you want it to go downhill from here on out. I'm 41 and I'm just now starting to feel the effects of peri-menopause. One of the things I did more of is exercising, except I think I overdid it because I've lost too much weight... I'm a size 4 in a 5'7" frame... too skinny IMHO.
Look at Lauren Hutton. Did you see her at the Oscars? She looks phenomenal! The woman's 63 years old and she looks great! She obviously fought aging very well.... she wasn't going to give up without a big fight.
As for me, one of my staff thought I was her age... she's 29. I blushed from the flattery and told her no, but didn't give her the real number.
What I do is, I exercise 4-5 times a week which includes salsa dancing. The endorphins in our body releases and it will make you feel good... our natural high.
I eat very well, for example for dinner tonight, I ate spinach salad with sun-dried tomatoes and shredded chicken over fat-free honey mustard dressing, sliced apples for desert and iced tea.
I apply moisturizer on my face & neck after shower, before going to bed and before I apply make up. Make sure the one in the morning has a minimum of SPF30.
Just a few tips to fight aging. Girl, we're all heading that way, I want to delay it as much as possible without going under the knife.
Re: Is hating your husband a symptom of peri-meno??
Quote:
Originally Posted by Siouxlander
From a man's observation: I had to smile at the memories I had concerning this very subject. It has been a couple of years now, but I still shudder when I think of those days. My wonderful wife had the same symptoms that you lovely ladies are describing.
Communication is the key to this and just understanding what she is going through helps me work through this. (One reason I am reading this thread) So ladies don't hate your husbands because they really do not understand what is happening. Sit them down and have a heart to heart and you will be surprised how it will help. Sorry to interrupt. Have a great day.
Siouxlander, you sound like a wonderful man! I hope my fiance will be understanding as you if or when I go through mine.
Re: Is hating your husband a symptom of peri-meno??
lol! It is definately a symptom! I remember times, hating him intensely. Good news though! It doesn't last forever! I hope he is very understanding. Mine was and is! We too, joke about it now! But it was serious business at the time!
Re: Is hating your husband a symptom of peri-meno??
Hi
I am IN Menopause and I dont have the problem with the sex...but...going through periods of hating my hubby YES !!! Sometimes I cant even bear to here his voice, it pisses me off !!LOL
This is the wonderful life of hormones..it aint easy...have you tried xanax?? I am on that because my hormones are so wacked !!
Re: Is hating your husband a symptom of peri-meno??
I got such a good laugh out of this post, because this was me a few years ago. I got to the point that even hearing my hubby BREATHE would **** me off! lol I was so short tempered with him and said some really hateful things to him, but he never commented on it. Actually, it was a good thing for me because I have always been so soft with him and not stern when I should be - so this was really a turnaround! I would get up in the morning and just look at him and be furious at him for some little thing he had done.
I not only hated him - but I hated everyone else, myself included. That's a bad way to be feeling. Then on top of that, I got really depressed so I went to see my doctor. He put me on Lexapro (AD) and within a couple of days, my feelings toward my hubby were completely different. He no longer irritated me.
Things DO get better, believe me. I think I look better right now than I have ever in my life. I got Lasik surgery on my eyes, started having my nails done - just things for "me" that made me feel confident again.
Re: Is hating your husband a symptom of peri-meno??
Thank you so much to everyone who responded.
I think I'm slowly starting to get it.
S-L-O-W-L-Y...............
I just never expected so many changes, nor did I think they would be so intense. I never got bad pms symptoms before peri-- well, at the time I whined, but now I realize it was NOTHING compared to this... I will never again look at a woman in my age range and fault her for her mood... it could be peri. Somebody needs to come up with a slogan so we can recognize each other
My husband and I are okay. We really do love each other. I have to admit, he's been better with me than I think I have been with him. I noticed the last year he tries to keep track of my periods (which is impossible these days).. but just the idea he's trying to "understand" helps. I've been trying to talk more openly about my hormonal issues.... it's baby steps as this is uncharted for me too... but it's coming along.
Re: Is hating your husband a symptom of peri-meno??
Not sure, but my daughter asked me Sunday evening if my husband had changed his name to ****head because that was all she had heard me call him all weekend!!
Re: Is hating your husband a symptom of peri-meno??
Well, I didn't read every entire post on this thread, but I did want to say, I have had some of those same feelings, off and on, like my DH could do nothing right, and trust me, I have an angel of a husband! As far as not feeling good about yourself and aging, I really have to say...I don't like it either, but to be honest this last year for me has been a much better one as far as how I feel about my looks, etc. I feel better about myself now than I did at 40 and I am now 52. I work hard to stay in shape and do whatever I can to keep the face from getting too saggy with all the creams and junk...I think when you first start noticing the changes, it is the hardest....it's all so new and confusing, but now, I really am liking the way I look, I went on a diet. lost weight, got my hair cut in a cute style and started caring about myself again!!! That has helped my relationship with DH more than anything...so there is hope, it's a long road, but it does get better, hang in there!!!
or leaves toast crumbs in the butter, throws his Hane's on the floor when the basket is 2 inches away, basically ANYTHING that he does, and it pisses ya off....yeah that's peri-menopause. 
"quit treating him like....crap", and that I am really lucky. So now when I obsess about the things he does, I keep my mouth shut and chalk it up to "peri-menopause-madness" and remind myself that in the morning it won't be this bad and I will feel stupid for even thinking this way (even though my heart is pumping so hard and my face is turning red and sweat is running down my neck). 
real nice.
