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Old 07-08-2006, 06:19 AM   #1
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Perimeno and negativity

I just read a few posts by Fabat, and how much she hates her job, and I started thinking-- why do we become so intolerant of things that used to be managable when we get into perimeno?

Fabat-- by the way, I feel your pain. Your life satisfaction is more inportant than insurance for your college age child, imo. I also have a son in college, and soon he will be too old to be on my plan, so I just got him his own through blue cross-- a good plan for 97/month-- so I'm wondering if you could figure a way to get out of your job?

It just seems, no matter what the issue--- job, husbands, problems with family-- it seems the tolerance for putting up with BS in any area becomes so difficult! Why does peri do this to us??? Is this clinical depression??

I read an article some time ago that compared peri to puberty in reverse. Are we a strange version of teen angst? I know at times I feel as irrational as a teen! I also don't know how some women seem to sail through this time with little difficulty, while others, like me, feel the effects full force. If I see a woman who looks to be the right age for perimeno and seems happy, I feel tempted to ask.... what are you taking??

How do you all deal with the negativity??

And here is the question I desperately want the answer to-- does this ever go away???

 
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Old 07-08-2006, 10:29 AM   #2
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Wizard HB User
Re: Perimeno and negativity

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistyeyze



I read an article some time ago that compared peri to puberty in reverse. Are we a strange version of teen angst? I know at times I feel as irrational as a teen! I also don't know how some women seem to sail through this time with little difficulty, while others, like me, feel the effects full force. If I see a woman who looks to be the right age for perimeno and seems happy, I feel tempted to ask.... what are you taking??

How do you all deal with the negativity??

And here is the question I desperately want the answer to-- does this ever go away???

Hi:

I've often thought that this is just like being a teen or being pregnant again. I remember feeling so off kilter as a teen when I first got my period. I was moody, had horrible cramps, my legs ached etc. Same as when I got pregnant each time and the hormones were so out of whack.

I've often passed women in their 60's and 70's and wanted to ask them how they survived this, what worked, if they just feel sane again.

Right now, I'm relying on B Stress vitamins, flax seed oil, omega 3-6-9's, magnesium and I make sure I exercise every day and do a series of calming, breathing exercises. I can't say it's perfect but I at least feel a mild semblance of normalcy. I know this has to end eventually because I have my 78 year old mother visiting right now and she's this ball of energy, never seems to have a down day and is living a normal, happy life.

Jo

 
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Old 07-08-2006, 04:49 PM   #3
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Re: Perimeno and negativity

I can't believe the more I read the more I hear myself, I was told once I was depressed by my doc but I never believed it!
one day I love everything, another day I hate it all! Too many times I've heard myself say "what's the point" when I came time to do a part of my everyday routine or the added extra's like my crafts. It really scared me because this has been my life for 9 yrs now and I never had any problem with it, I loved everyday of my life until last yr when this started. Then in just ONE day after waking up ... it all flipped???
My husband is quite a character, he pokes fun and can be silly, the silly things he has been doing for 9 yrs that made me smile & giggle now just rings in my head and I feel like I'm being so mean because my reaction has changed. Sometimes I've told him he sounds so stupid ... Thank god he does seem to understand what is going on and tries to be as patient with my swinging moods as he can.
The best thing I can do for "us" is to keep to myself when I feel "mean/angry", I've been throwing myself into crafts (needlepoint) nothing too complicated, because the attention span is about a minute long, but it does keep my mind pre-occupied while he watches his movies in HD in another room .... doesn't sound like much of a marriage but it works and keeps peace in the house while I'm riding out the few days I'm in "sybil-mode"

 
Old 07-09-2006, 08:01 AM   #4
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Re: Perimeno and negativity

Barb, I hear you! I feel like all of this came out of nowhere too. I sometimes wonder if my case is extreme-- because I had no warning of this from older women in my life. Where they just suffering in silence? Then I consider how I keep to myself, so I don't show how really negative I feel. I guess it's not politically correct to say Hi, I'm in perimeno so SHUT THE **** UP! Also- I wonder sometimes, what is the purpose of this? I mean, from a biological point of view, does this benefit us in any way? Why can't we just run out of eggs and be done with it? Why does it have to be so painful and negative?

I realize I'm rambling here.....

So for those who have made it to the meno side-- do you feel normal again? Do you still have a sex drive?

If this is puberty in reverse, am I going to not like boys, I mean men anymore? I have a step daughter who is 13. She is adjusting to all the new estrogen and hating it (but likes boys now, lol) and I'm adjusting to it going away....... and not liking it. Strange analogy I know-- but I'll tell you what, I have sympathy for her raging hormones. I really do. When she stomps to her room and slams the door, I know how she feels, I want to do it too!

 
Old 07-09-2006, 09:56 AM   #5
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Re: Perimeno and negativity

You're not rambling on any more than I do when I post, but doing this gives me alittle relief. It's been difficult to get these feelings understood to some, when this started it send me to the ER twice, the second time I left there with a list of therapists .... talk to someone I was told.
Deep down I know it's hormonal but occassionally I find myself asking .. is this just some attempt at getting attention?? I have no children, my husband works and I'm home. OK I may have alittle too much time on my hands but this is the 9 yr life I've lived and love it! (most of the time but can change at any minute) today is a "happy day"

I was asked about my mom going through menopause and I had no idea when she did, I'm convinced it was that generation of women, by my age (40) she was pregnant with her 7th child, if it occured shortly after that she just pushed on and took care of everything else. I never remember hearing her complain about a headache, never mind mood swings. They didn't talk about these things. She passed a a yr ago so I will never know.
For a few yrs I've been saying .. If there was a way to shut all of this off I would do it in a second ... at this age there will not be children so what other purpose is it serving? JUST HELL!!!
This could be a very long 10 yrs just waiting to run out of eggs!!!

 
Old 07-09-2006, 03:38 PM   #6
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Re: Perimeno and negativity

Barb, NO! This is not about you wanting attention. Don't even go there. It would be so unfair to yourself. If I've learned anything about this perimeno hell, it's that it is REAL. YES, our hormones are doing this to us!! It is such a scary time.
Did you ever go to a therapist? I've been thinking about it. However, it will have to be a woman who understands perimeno issues. Come to think of it, that should be a specialty-- I bet many of us feel isolated.
I'm going to my doc a week from Monday to talk about an antidepressant. For whatever reason, this perimeno just seems to bring on some kind of bizarre clinical depression. If meds can help-- I guess it is the right thing to do.
Hang in there. Come here and vent. This board has helped me. Many here understand what you are going through.
Another thing I've learned-- support from other women is really helpful.

 
Old 07-10-2006, 07:41 AM   #7
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Re: Perimeno and negativity

I threw the list away ... left there so angry that they made me feel like the symptoms where all in my head I was determined find the real answer. Plus I knew me too well, it was more than that, There were some kind "warning signals" being sent, who knows your body better than you????
unfortunately the only doc that did was the cardiologist but she referred me to my gyn. My husband and I suspected hormones right from day one

Another reason for throwing the list away was because the negative feelings have become so routine ... some months I get them, some not -- they occur the same time when they do appear (day 7/8) of my cycle and go away a within a few days. A few days ago I went through it, yesterday was a happy day, today it was like I was shot out of a cannon .... up and ready to go! my daily 45 min walk was a push, today I extended it alittle.
I go see the doc again on the 19th ......... we shall see

Last edited by Barbz615; 07-10-2006 at 07:42 AM.

 
Old 07-10-2006, 03:08 PM   #8
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Red Maple HB UserRed Maple HB User
Re: Perimeno and negativity

I am taking the anti-depressant "Celexa" and it is working wonders for me. I am not so moody, negative, or just that general feeling of being "down". I used to wake up at night about 2 AM and just think of how rotten my life was, and not be able to fall back to sleep until about 5. I would think all about how I was so very alone, and that there was not a soul in the world who cared what happened to me. (I am somewhat isolated, I am the last one left of my childhood family-parents both deceased, no brothers or sisters, my last aunt passed away in 2000) I only have family from my husband's side, and my two boys.

The cycle of lack of sleep, night sweats, hot flashes,and feeling so depressed really takes a toll on a person. The Celexa is wonderful to help take away all those negative feelings. I also have found great relief from the anxiety with "Ativan" an anti-anxiety drug similar to Xanax. I hate medications and avoid them whenever I can, but in this case I am so greatful that these types of prescriptions are available. I don't want to loose a minute of my life to the miserable symptoms of meno. if I can possibly help it! I am almost 53 and had my last period about 8 months ago. About 6 months ago, I started on "Climara-Pro" (patch form of bio-identical hormones), the "celexa" daily, and the "ativan" as needed. WOW what a difference it has made!!!

Good luck to all the others on this thread in finding what works best for each of you!

 
Old 07-10-2006, 03:55 PM   #9
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Re: Perimeno and negativity

Lisman,

Thank you so much for sharing. I will ask about the Celexa. It seems like there are so many antidepressants, I get confused. My fear is that I won't tolerate it well. My experience years ago after the death of my father wasn't great. I had some side effects... like anxiety, and fast heart rate, which is the last thing I need now. I'm hoping my gyn can prescribe one that doesn't have that "racey" effect.... I'm willing to try. I really feel I need to do more than just the bcp. The bcp is not a cure all.... unfortunately.
I can relate to your feelings. Why does permeno do this to us?? But anyway, your experience is helpful to me. I'm glad you are doing better.

Do you mind me asking...... how is the sex drive?

 
Old 07-11-2006, 11:01 AM   #10
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Re: Perimeno and negativity

Misty, I don't mind you asking at all. The sex drive is just "ok", I can take it or leave it. My husband however has some problems with his prostrate, and his sex drive isn't really great either. We have sort of hit a plateau together on this issue, and I am ever so grateful for it. I am VERY understanding when he isn't in the mood, and he returns the favor for me. I am sure if we had different needs at this time it would be much more difficult for us. Thank God for His small blessings!!!!!

I also had some severe anxiety when my parents passed away. They both were gone within 6 months of each other in 1992. I know what you mean when you do not want a anti-depressant that has a racey effect. The Celexa is also prescribed for patients who have anxiety, and so for me is just right. I was worried that they would make me sleepy, and they did for the first couple of days, but I was much better within a week of starting them. About within the first month to 6 weeks I felt almost much more like my old self again.

Maybe you should do some research on various anti-depressants on the web prior to your appointment with the doc so you can then discuss them with some knowledge. I have heard that Lexapro is also a great one to just make you feel "leveled out" without many side effects. Unfortunately there is no way to know in advance how each individual will react to any drug. It's such a trial and error thing for each of us.

Good luck to you at your doc appointment. Please keep posting to let me know how you are doing. Just be very open and honest with him/her and let them know just how you are feeling, physically and emotionally. I ended up bawling like a baby in his office telling him how miserable I was, he handed me tissues and got out his prescription pad... He understood exactly what I was going through. Too bad for me that at this time of my life I'm not married to an OB/GYN!

 
Old 07-17-2006, 09:43 AM   #11
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Re: Perimeno and negativity

Lisman,

I just got back from the doctor... I couldn't remember which antidepressant you were taking-- I see now it is Celexa. My doctor gave me Laxapro. I was, and still am worried about the side effects..... but it's worth trying. I'm going to start out on 10mg then work up. I told her my past experience with antidepressants made me feel strange, and not good--- I hope I have better luck this time. She also said to take the klonopin waffers as needed, but to be honest, they make me tired more than anything, so I hardly ever take them. Well, off to get this script filled-- I forgot to take enough money to get if filled on the way home

Please ladies, tell me how you are all doing and what works for you in this peri-meno negativity.

Oh, I mentioned to her that I'm concerned about this affecting my already declining sex drive.... she said about 1/3 have issues. Great. Maybe next I'll be asking for some testosterone... I'll be a walking drug store before this is over!


 
Old 07-17-2006, 10:15 AM   #12
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Re: Perimeno and negativity

Mistyeyze:
You probably have already heard this, but the bcp can lower your sex drive. So, if it coincided with you starting the pill, it may be connected. When I had my hormones tested, I was low in testosterone and am now taking in my compounded hormone cream. I do think it has helped in that area.

 
Old 07-17-2006, 11:52 AM   #13
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Re: Perimeno and negativity

Kati I had not heard that the bcp can lower the sex drive-- and now that I think about it, when I wasn't pizzed at my husband, before bcp's, I wasn't having any problems..... then again... I was pizzed a lot, LOL. Actually- I'm really glad you told me because I've been noticing it for about 2 months, same amount of time on the bcp. DANM! Okay.... so what kind of testosterone can I take that won't make me grow a mustache?

ps- how was graduation? I survived (barely) round one.... round two comes up this weekend. Oh, and the ex... being a complete ******.... I'm dying to say, what is your problem? Peri-meno?

 
Old 07-17-2006, 10:12 PM   #14
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Re: Perimeno and negativity

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistyeyze
I just read a few posts by Fabat, and how much she hates her job, and I started thinking-- why do we become so intolerant of things that used to be managable when we get into perimeno?

Fabat-- by the way, I feel your pain. Your life satisfaction is more inportant than insurance for your college age child, imo. I also have a son in college, and soon he will be too old to be on my plan, so I just got him his own through blue cross-- a good plan for 97/month-- so I'm wondering if you could figure a way to get out of your job?

It just seems, no matter what the issue--- job, husbands, problems with family-- it seems the tolerance for putting up with BS in any area becomes so difficult! Why does peri do this to us??? Is this clinical depression??

I read an article some time ago that compared peri to puberty in reverse. Are we a strange version of teen angst? I know at times I feel as irrational as a teen! I also don't know how some women seem to sail through this time with little difficulty, while others, like me, feel the effects full force. If I see a woman who looks to be the right age for perimeno and seems happy, I feel tempted to ask.... what are you taking??

How do you all deal with the negativity??

And here is the question I desperately want the answer to-- does this ever go away???

Hello Misty,

First of all ((((( BIG, BIG HUGS!)))))) you have made me laugh and cry with your posts and I can't thank you enough for them. I've also learned so much from you. Especially the ones when you talked about how annoying some people can be. LOL Because I understand how you feel.

Thank you for the advice on the insurance. I was actually doing some research on what insurance is affordable when my boss called me into his office, this was last week.... well, guess what. The job I hate, the boss I borderline hate, he not only promoted me, he gave me a huge raise and a bonus. Now I feel more stuck! SIGH.... oh well. I guess I'll have to see about this new position. According to my boss, I'll have less exposure with the "little people" (lower level employees) and less work load. I'd be doing more upper level decisions and only my direct reports would have access to me.

I would have to see and sit with this new position which I'll be starting on July 31st. I just can't believe it. I guess they were sensing I was ready to jump ship.

IMHO, I think peri is doing this to us. I just can't find any answers to my recent behaviour.

Peace.

 
Old 07-18-2006, 03:21 PM   #15
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Re: Perimeno and negativity

Misty:
Yeah, bummer on the sex drive and bcp thing. I took the bcp for most of my adult life and never knew it was affecting my sex drive, which in retrospect, was pretty low. When I went off in my 30's, I could really tell a difference.

Anyways, there's no telling on the testosterone because we are all different. What may not be enough for you would be too much for someone else. If you are planning to stay on the bcp for a while you might just talk to your Dr. about it.

BTW-Survived the graduation, survived our move less than a week later AND survived the wedding of another sson on July 8th where I actually had to meet the ex (family photos, etc.) Also, sson that just graduated (and living with us and working at Safeway) told us one hour left in the wedding reception that he was going back with his Mom (they were getting ready to leave to drive home - another state) and that he'd quit his job, etc. NIIIIICCCCEEE... You get the picture...

AND of course, I was having PMS big time right up to the wedding day. Two of my husband's sisters and my Mom came to stay a few days and go to the wedding. I really enjoyed having all of them, but it seemed like a battle inside my body of "this or that is annoying" and "gee, I'm really glad to have my family here"! Ha!

Hang in there!

 
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