Angel, to answer your question...yes, perimenopause can feel this bad, but the good news is that it does get better. Did I hear you ask when, LOL??????? Good question and it would be great to have some scientific method of determining how long we all have before things settle down.
Initially it was difficult for me to accept that hormones could cause me to feel like I had some rare ailment. That is what had me going from doctor to dr. to dr......and having several CAT Scans, MRI, Ultrasounds and blood work. The good thing about that is that many possibilities were eliminated which did give me some peace of mind.
I can relate to everything that you are experiencing since I've been going through this for almost over 4 years. Through the use of vitamins, supplements, and compounded hormones I've been able to regain some amount of "normalcy" in my life. I'm not symptom free...although I strive for this...but I've come a long wayyyyyyyyyyys from when this all began.
This too shall pass.