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Old 08-14-2006, 11:52 AM   #1
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New, and can't stop the worry!

I was so happy to read some of these posts, especially the thread on anxiety.
I am 48, and in the throws of menopause. I occasionally skip periods, but I still usually have them once a month. I'm very active and exercise about 5 times a week.

Now, the hard part. I have EVERY symptom known to man. Everything that you all have listed, and more, I can say that I experience. But the worst is the anxiety. I worry anyway, but every symptom I get, I immediatly think is cancer [oh, ms too, but I think that I'm past that.] If I have stomach trouble, I have colon cancer. Now it's my bladder. I've been having urinary issues, like some discomfort. I also have some bloating. I don't really have frequency in urination, and if I do have to go, I really do, because I drink about 68 ounces of water a day. But, I'm convinced that I have Ovarian Cancer. Infact, this has been an issue for a number of years. Last year I had pain with my period and took a sonogram. Everything was fine. In March, I had blood work done because I messed up my back exercising. It was fine, but since back pain is a symptom of Ovarian cancer, I convinced myself that was the reason for the pain. It just didn't show up in the blood work...aaarg, see? I still worry about this DAILY. It's driving me [and my husband] crazy. Someone on this board said that the internet is dangerous, because every symptom can lead to cancer. I really believe this. I do take Effexor, and after trying Prozac and Lexapro, I think I react the same to all of them: moderatly at best. This weekend I came down with a flu bug, and I'm still feeling weak and achy. Yep...it's cancer.....

I really don't want to start hrt. I did try the calcium/magneisum, but it seemed to constipate me. I also have the fish oil, but I haven't tried it yet. I really need some help. Out of all the symptoms that I have, this is the one that is really destroying my quality of life.

Please tell me that this is normal. Do any of you have this urinary trouble and a 'weird' feeling aove the vaginal area. I know that lots of women get utis during menopuase. I'm hoping that you can give me some words to calm me. Thank you so much.

 
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Old 08-14-2006, 02:39 PM   #2
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newphase HB User
Smile Re: New, and can't stop the worry!

I don't have the urinary symptoms you describe, but I definitely have the hypochondria. Every once in awhile, I will have a feeling in my toe, leg or elsewhere that feels like a drop of cold water or an electric shock. I also thought I had MS until I started reading up on menopause and found that this could be one of the symptoms. I also constantly worry about getting cancer, and now, because my blood pressure is up, I am convinced that I have heart problems. Every little thing becomes completely overblown. Every little ache or pain becomes some dreadful disease! I also worry incessantly about my children and how are they going to cope when I am gone. It's enough to drive you crazy! I am starting on Lexapro, so I hope that will put things in check for me. So I hope it will help at least to know that you are not alone in this. The only advice I can give you is to talk to your doctor. Talking with a therapist might help to put things into perspective too. I will be doing that along with taking the Lexapro. Hang in there!

 
Old 08-14-2006, 03:32 PM   #3
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Re: New, and can't stop the worry!

I go through this every time I have a bad peri flare up! I think the problem is that we have been relatively healthy for all these years then all the sudden we feel like crap and it scares us. I've had a ton of tests the last 8 months and all came out fine, but I still worry. If you've been tested and it shows nothing, then try hard not to let it bother you. That's what I try to do, as hard as it is.

Kori

 
Old 08-14-2006, 04:02 PM   #4
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heitara HB User
Re: New, and can't stop the worry!

Kellybag, you're not alone. In your hypocondria (I posted about mine in another thread, believe me, it's HUGE) and in your urinary problems. That's a typical sign of peri and I have it too. And like me most of my friends.
I guess a therapist would tell you that all of us - men and women - are, deep inside, very afraid of changes. And the biggest change of them all is death. An ineluctable event that trasform us from one state into another. Menopause is ineluctable. And it transform us indeed. We will never be what we were before, in many ways. So, maybe, going through this big turmoil that leads to our Change brings to mind the other big turmoil and change - alas death. And we unconsciously link what we're feeling with something terribly threatening, and - being afraid of what will come next - unconsciously feel death is what awaits us.
Have I made myself clear at all? Lol. Not only I'm not a therapist, I'm also a foreigner.
Anyway, you're not dying. Just going through a very tough time. Cuddle yourself. Don't think you're getting crazy. Repeat to yourself that your body is undergoing a big stress and that send signals of danger to your mind. But there's no danger. Only bloody menopause. And one day, all this will be only a memory and we will be safe, sound and happy on the other side.
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Carla

"I'm not young enough to know everything". O. Wilde

 
Old 08-14-2006, 05:01 PM   #5
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Belle2003 HB User
Re: New, and can't stop the worry!

I have had weird feelings in the lower abdominal area. I have had sharp pains. I have had bloating. I have had pressure like my vagina was being pushed out. I have had weird bladder pain. It is always something new and different. I have worried about ovarian cancer and had symptoms that required an ultrasound. Luckily I have nothing wrong, but I always worry with each new ailment especially when it is a lump in the breast. I have always been a worry wart, but as I have aged it has gotten worse. I guess it is because you always hear about someone's friend (who was a health nut and took really good care of herself) who got a horrible disease in her late 40's or 50's. It makes you worry that one day that someone could be you.

I have started to eat more fruits and vegetables and to exercise often. The one thing that I find almost impossible to do, is to be under less stress. To take things in stride and to relax. I just can't seem to not get stressed over stuff like my husband. With two teenage daughters living at home, work, aging parents who depend on you, etc and a ill spouse it takes its toll.
Anyone know of a good yoga DVD or meditation that helps?

 
Old 08-14-2006, 05:25 PM   #6
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Exclamation Re: New, and can't stop the worry!

Oh my, that's what my newest symptom feels like.....like my vagina is being pushed out!!!!!!!
I'm so glad that I wrote in.

I forgot to mention that, even though I think I'm dying half the time, I still can't get through the day without something sweet...ALOT of something sweet.

Even though I just got over what seems to be a stomach bug [don't even ask what thoughts were going through my mind when I was wretching at 3am on Sat.], I still craved chocolate cake and all manner of icing. Whipped cream is a recent favorite.

Please keep your answers coming. I can't tell you how much better I feel.

And you're right, perhaps some of this is 'the change' how the fragility of life creeps in around this time. I, too have had dear friends died from cnacer in the past few years. Loosing a contemporary, especially a close one, leaves you with a void and fear that you could be next. So true. So true.

 
Old 08-14-2006, 05:47 PM   #7
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marymk HB User
Re: New, and can't stop the worry!

Kelly,
I am also becoming a hypochondriac over the past year. I think I've had every possible cancer known to (wo)man. I've been to the Dr more in the past year, than in my whole life. I never worried about any health issues, never worried about routine medical tests - blood work, pap smears, mamograms etc....
Now, I am on edge, until I get the results. I'm driving my family nuts. My husband is starting to get upset with me, when he see's I'm on the internet - yes, I'm always researching some horrible disease.
I've had a few minor health issues, but nothing I would normally worry about in the past. Now I think everything will turn bad. I've even begun 'doubting' the Dr.'s diagnosis, thinking something minor, is really something worse. It's even driving me crazy being like this.
I'm not on any 'drugs' yet, but I may need them soon, if things don't get better.
I'm taking evening primrose oil and calcuim. I would say go ahead and take the fish oil. I think it will help with the constipation your getting from the calcium and magnisium.

Hang in there.

Mary

 
Old 08-14-2006, 08:06 PM   #8
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glemis HB User
Re: New, and can't stop the worry!

Hi
I recently started a thread called "panic over health". Like you, I fret over ever lump, bump, pain and change. It has to be hormones! Deep down inside, I know I am very healthy.....but something comes over me and I diagnose myself with every form of cancer know to man. There are days when I get absolutely nothing accomplished because I am researching my newest self-diagnosed form of cancer. Let's see, so far I convinced myself that I had breast cancer (more than once), skin cancer, stomach cancer, brain cancer, and uterine cancer. I'm not afraid to die, but I worry about who will raise my child, how my husand will survive without me, etc. etc.

Just know that you are not alone. Bookmark this site and read these replies when you are in panic-mode. This board has helped me so much. When I start feeling worried, I hop on line and read the replies I received and I try to busy myself with other thought until it passes. I'm also noticing that my bouts with this have decreased a lot since I started taking multi-vitamins, evening primrose oil and progesterone cream.

Good Luck and Stop Worrying!

Joyce

 
Old 08-15-2006, 09:17 AM   #9
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kaytee52 HB User
Re: New, and can't stop the worry!

I can really relate to this thread!...The difference with me is that I have had the health anxiety my whole life...I didnt wait till "peri" to begin!...I have to agree that even though menopause is a natural thing, it doesnt FEEL natural. It makes me feel like I'm sick, with all the strange things happening. It's like someone threw out the rule book and anything goes. It feels like a loss of control over my body...like it's rebelling against me....Periods are long and you never know when they might arrive...or not arrive...and the burning of the hot flashes and night sweats feel like fevers....Not to mention all the other symptoms so many of you have that I don't.....or just havent gotten yet!....It is nice to know we're not alone in this.....

 
Old 08-15-2006, 10:40 AM   #10
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Re: New, and can't stop the worry!

Oh boy can I relate to the hypochondria. When all of this started for me almost 4 yrs ago at 40, I thought I had some horrible disease. I went to the Dr. more that year than in my whole life combined! My worst symptom was the anxiety and I went on a low dose pill and Lexapro to calm everything down. I went off the Lexapro last December and have just started getting the bad anxiety again. You would think since I went through this before that I would realize it was just anxiety, but I am currently stuck in another vicious cycle of helath anxiety and worrying about every body sensation again. I decided to restart the Lexapro since I cannot live with this constant fear and anxiety. It worked before - I hope it works again!

mary

 
Old 08-15-2006, 01:53 PM   #11
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kellybag HB User
Re: New, and can't stop the worry!

You all are wonderful! I just cannot believe there are so many women going through what I am! When my husband[and my pre-meno friends] call me crazy, I'm telling them to read these replies. Thank you so much.

Many of you mention that you take magnesium/calcium and that it helps many symptoms. I bought that and fish oil at the same time. I took the magnesium/calcium [right dose for me] for 4 nights and I became very constipated. Since that is one of the wonderfiul things has menopause has given me, I didn't want to make it worse, so I stopped. I was told that the fish oil would help with constipation, but I didn't get that far. Am I doing something wrong?

 
Old 08-16-2006, 08:18 AM   #12
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Re: New, and can't stop the worry!

Kelly, don't worry, you aren't dying. I have felt like that many,many times. I am convinced now that I have some sort of cancer because of all the aches and pains in my joints/muscles/legs. But its all part of the hormone imbalance. I have read lots of books, and they all say the same thing. Hormonal imbalances can cause havoc with our body. As for the supplements you want to take, take the calcium and magnesium but take them further apart. I found this is what works for me:

- 600 mg of calcium in the morning and 300 mg of magnesium
- take the same dosage at night before going to bed
- take ground flaxseed, two tablespoons a day. Sprinkle it in your yogurt, cereal, over salads. It has a nice nutty flavor and will help with your constipation, and soaks up the excess estrogen in your body.
- take a good B complex vitamin
- exercise! This has helped me tremendously
- look into homeopathic medicine and massage therapy. I take three different homeopathic drops, and this has changed everything. Also massage therapy flushes the toxins from your body and you feel so much better. I have a massage at least once a month. Drink lots of water afterwards.
I hope this helps you. You have to find what works for you. Get some books from the library on perimenopause. It will start you off with some ideas, and will also ease your mind that you are not dying, that all of this is normal. And best of all, visit these boards. We are all going through the same thing and it really helps to know that someone else is out there that is having the same problems as yourself. Good luck!

 
Old 08-16-2006, 09:42 AM   #13
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Korikins HB User
Re: New, and can't stop the worry!

Newphase......I just read up on MS and now I'm afraid I have THAT! lol

I've been tested for alot of things, but this is one thing I haven't. Since the majority of my problems lie in my head and neck, this is going to give me something to think about.

Kori

 
Old 08-16-2006, 12:17 PM   #14
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liverpool sue HB User
Re: New, and can't stop the worry!

d'you know ladies, i wish i'd had access to a message board like this 9 or 10 years ago when i was 44/45 and was getting all these symptoms and feelings that you're all talking about. it would have been so reassuring to be able to discuss them with the likes of yourselves and not feel as if i was losing my marbles. i remember going to my gp and actually saying i felt as if i was going mad, but not connecting it at all with perimenopause, in fact i'd never even heard of perimenopause. i just thought my periods would start to become irregular sometime in my 50's, i'd get a few hot flashes, and that would be it. it's only reading all the stuff on this thread particularly, that's made me realise it has been a long, slow build up. you know, you will come out the other side, there is light at the end of this long, dark tunnel, and as has already been said life will be different, changed, but in a good way - no more chance of accidental pregnancy, no more heavy periods, no more mood swings, sore breasts, bloating, anxiety, etc. stay strong.

sue

 
Old 08-16-2006, 04:38 PM   #15
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heitara HB User
Re: New, and can't stop the worry!

Thanks for the comfort, Liverpool Sue, that's so reassuring!
I can't think of a day when I won't be feeling bloated (my period is one week late and I feel like I'm about to explode), less anxious and not always afraid to be dying.
Today my heart did funny things and I felt like I was about to faint. It lasted only a few seconds but here I am, scared to death and wondering what was that all about...
Danigirl, what kind of omeopatic drops are you using? My gyno treats patients only with natural remedies and if they helped you I could talk to her and ask her if they're right for me.
I found that Dhea helped me very much in terms of feeling less fatigued. I also take 400 mg of magnesium daily and my diet is very much soya based. I'll start exercising as soon as the heat subsides!
Love you all, ladies
__________________
Carla

"I'm not young enough to know everything". O. Wilde

 
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