I need your help, ladies. I'm obsessing over my health and can't find any control over my thoughts. The fact that I'm having my period (heavy cramps, tearful, dizziness, fatigue) is not helping, I guess.
This morning I went to my eye doctor and he told me I have bilateral catarats (which made me feel decrepit) and I need laser surgery (which made me panic 'cause I immediately pictured myself blinded by the operation) I went back home in a sort of shock and I received the call of a friend of mine who was diagnosed with Bell's Palsy. If you're not familiar with the term, it's a virus that attacks your nervous system causing the paralisis of some facial muscles. Aside from feeling sorry for her and comforting her, I immediately felt frozen by panic. She said the doctor explained to her people with herpes are more prone to this virus and that was it.
As a gift menopause gave me also an herpes which pops out every month during pms. It's inside my nostrils and whenever it rears its ugly head I get pains in my facial nerves. Plus, I've been having this weird symptom lately which I'm going to tell you hoping you won't think I'm totally nuts. When I shower in the morning, my tongue has a funny unpleasant sensation of tingliness and numness. It feels almost paralized and as if the muscle were sore. Then, after two minutes, it goes away. But it happens ONLY when I'm under the shower. Don't laugh, I know it's weird.
So, today I added all my symptoms and this is my future scenario:
They're going to take care of my catarats and I'm going to be blind for the rest of my life.
During the tests prior the surgery, they'll discover I have a terrible disease and the catarats won't be my problem anymore because I'll die anyway within a few months.
I'm having a neurological disease and the weird tongue under the shower is just the first of the symptoms.
My herpes is affecting my nervous system and I will have Bell's Palsy for sure.
I know it sounds funny. But I'm being overwhelmed by anxiety, panic and desperation. No rationality inside me today.
Any word from you would be hugely appreciated.
Thanks for listening, I know some of you know how it feels in these moments. Not only desperate but stupid, neurotic, crazy, pathetic. That's me today.