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heitara · 08-30-2006, 07:14 AM

I need your help, ladies. I'm obsessing over my health and can't find any control over my thoughts. The fact that I'm having my period (heavy cramps, tearful, dizziness, fatigue) is not helping, I guess.
This morning I went to my eye doctor and he told me I have bilateral catarats (which made me feel decrepit) and I need laser surgery (which made me panic 'cause I immediately pictured myself blinded by the operation) I went back home in a sort of shock and I received the call of a friend of mine who was diagnosed with Bell's Palsy. If you're not familiar with the term, it's a virus that attacks your nervous system causing the paralisis of some facial muscles. Aside from feeling sorry for her and comforting her, I immediately felt frozen by panic. She said the doctor explained to her people with herpes are more prone to this virus and that was it.
As a gift menopause gave me also an herpes which pops out every month during pms. It's inside my nostrils and whenever it rears its ugly head I get pains in my facial nerves. Plus, I've been having this weird symptom lately which I'm going to tell you hoping you won't think I'm totally nuts. When I shower in the morning, my tongue has a funny unpleasant sensation of tingliness and numness. It feels almost paralized and as if the muscle were sore. Then, after two minutes, it goes away. But it happens ONLY when I'm under the shower. Don't laugh, I know it's weird.
So, today I added all my symptoms and this is my future scenario:

They're going to take care of my catarats and I'm going to be blind for the rest of my life.
Or:
During the tests prior the surgery, they'll discover I have a terrible disease and the catarats won't be my problem anymore because I'll die anyway within a few months.
Or:
I'm having a neurological disease and the weird tongue under the shower is just the first of the symptoms.
Or:
My herpes is affecting my nervous system and I will have Bell's Palsy for sure.
I know it sounds funny. But I'm being overwhelmed by anxiety, panic and desperation. No rationality inside me today.
Any word from you would be hugely appreciated.
Thanks for listening, I know some of you know how it feels in these moments. Not only desperate but stupid, neurotic, crazy, pathetic. That's me today.
Thank you...

pbjmom · 08-30-2006, 11:03 AM

Hi Heitara!

I am sending huge hugs to you right now!! You are having a really hard time with this and support is what you need. Peri and all the awful symptoms take such a toll on our bodies.

My anxiety is bad, too. I finally got a prescription for Xanax. I am also taking a lot of good vitamins that seem to help me. Calcium, magnesium, a good B complex and Vitamin E.

Please don't think of yourself as crazy, neurotic or pathetic. Everyone one of us has had those days where all is wrong and we are going to die. Been there, done that way toooooo many times. One night, I woke up knowing I was having a stroke. PAced the house for hours, finally woke up my husband and he got me to calm down. Never had the stroke, obviously!

Numbness and tingling are a large part of the peri symptoms. Anxiety, as you know, is also one of the biggest ones. Try to breathe and relax while showering. Give yourself a pep talk about how you won't have the numbness in your tongue.

You may want to call your doc and get an appt to talk about these concerns. Peace of mind is what he/she will give you.

Take care of yourself! We are here to help!
hugs to you again
pbjmom

heitara · 08-30-2006, 03:28 PM

Hey Pbjmom...
thanks for your words. It really helped. Really. Know what? It's depressing when you are in this kind of mood and you see that 28 people 28 read your post and nobody shows a sign..lol. You made me feel less pathetic, less neurotic, less crazy. As day went by I regained some..hmm..rationality. With the help of a bit of Lexotan

Isn't it amazing what this bloody peri does to us? I'm amazed at the effect of hormones fluctuation on our psiche and mind.
Anyway, thank you honey. I really did appreciate.
Hugssssss

Hopefully · 08-30-2006, 06:31 PM

Heitara, first of all here is a {{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}. It's a blessing having this board and others like it because it helps us all to realize first of all that we are not alone and second that there is hope.

I'm going to ditto what Pbjmom said about talking with your doc about your concerns in hope that you will receive peace of mind. In the meantime keep posting and realize that you are not alone.

Wizard · 08-30-2006, 06:41 PM

HI:

I have to say that when peri began for me, I imagined I had every disease in the history of mankind. Some of the diseases my symptoms convinced me I had were mononucleosis, MS, ALS, Sjorgens, cancer of many body parts, you name the disease, I'll bet I imagined I had it.

My advice would be to talk to your doctor, explain the things you're feeling, let him do the 5000 tests to eliminate everything. Once that happens, when the anxiety starts over a new symptom, you'll be able to put a hold on it and calm yourself by remembering that you were tested for everything and are healthy.

The other day, I was doing a 1500 foot climb. As I was doing it, I suddenly got really bad chest pains from indigestion. My first thought was heart attack but then I remembered that the cardiologist told me I had the greatest heart he'd ever seen.

BTW...one of my worst symptoms is tingling and a burning sensation that moves all over my body.

Moonmad · 09-05-2006, 03:39 AM

Hi Heitara,

How are you feeling now? If you're crazy, so am I! As a lifelong hypochondriac I have always created these scenarios of doom for myself and the peri certainly makes it worse... y'know I compare it to feeling like an electrical cable that's had all the insulation stripped off!

That is scary about your eyes but, believe me, you will cope. Couple of months ago I was told I needed a tooth taken out and I was so scared I couldn't stop crying... but when it came to it I managed to calm myself right down, it was nothing scary after all and I was really proud of how brave I was in the end! You will be brave too.

Please let us know how you are... sending warm wishes and hugs.

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