Re: What can I do to help my husband understand what I'm going through?
I understand your frustration, believe me. Something you said that stuck out at me was you telling him it's "old lady disease"..... because I think for me, perimeno made me feel old.... and I had (have) fears that life as an old lady is going to suck, and like it's all down hill. I think that fear contributed to my mood swings, so I'm wondering if you could be experiencing some of that. It was hard for me to talk to my husband about it because I didn't want HIM to see me as an "old lady" either.... meanwhile, in his mind- he also had some fears. When we got to the point that we could talk, he told me meno scared him because he heard women "don't like sex anymore"..... I mean like here I was, feeling a hundred things, and his big fear was not getting as much sex. I honestly think that if I came to look and move like a turtle he would still be in love as long as I wanted to have sex. Maybe your husband is afraid of being rejected? When I would have bad mood swings and end up fighting with my husband, I wouldn't want to have sex, and I think that set his fear in motion. It was like a vicious cycle. In reality, we both wanted intimacy, it was just really hard to be on the same page when this first hit me.
So bottom line for what ever it's worth, is that I think men really depend on sexual intimacy with their partner, and when that is threatened by our actions, they get insecure. When you finally find a way to open up about it, most things can be worked out, including the sex.
Just some of my observations so far.