After reading all these posts itís so nice to know Iím not alone. My Ma-in-Law, who is of the old school, believes Iím making a mountain out of a mole hill; she thinks we should just get on with it and suffer in silence. I have this plan where 1st Iím going to pull out all her nails one by one, then bury her alive , then maybe sheíd take me seriously!
Iím a 21 year old inhabiting a 53 year old overweight body (with a spare tyre which would easily fit a tractor)! My confidence is at rock bottom especially when my face lights up like a belesha beacon, Iím sure everyone in the room is staring.
Since starting the menopause at 49, I just donít seem to have the incentive to be able to loose weight & keep it off. Each New Year I make the same resolution & am unable to stick to it. Apart from loosing weight, my major ambition is just to get a good nightís sleep. Hot flushes and the need to go to the loo (I have tested negative for diabetes) every 2 hours during the night, make me exhausted during the day and its back to the same cycle at night.
I was proscribed Clonidine 25mg 3 x daily, this had no effect on the hot flushes, so the Doc suggested I double the dose to 6 a day. I was like a zombie during the day, and no difference to the nights, so they are now in the bin! I am also taking Maca 500mg x 8 a day, I originally got these to help with my lack of sex drive, believe me a cup of tea & a good book is more exciting! Iíve been taking them for about 3 weeks but not felt any effect on the sex drive or the hot flushes as yet.
Any suggestion or miracles will be welcome, preferably nothing which would re-introduce my periods which stopped about a year ago.
hi oliveoil (good name incidently). i think many women of your mother-in-law's generation are of the same mind, not all mind you, my mum was very open and talked to me about lots of stuff. but i know a few of my aunts who always seemed grumpy, hot, tired, etc., and never talked about menopause at all. such a shame really, because maybe if they had talked about it, they'd have felt better and friends/family would have been more understanding. to a certain extent, maybe the 'stiff upper lip' works, no-one likes a person who moans all the time, but talking about things really does help, doesn't it? especially with someone who's either going through the same, or already gone through it. so it's a good job you found this site, because everyone listens and has something to say, and almost always in a nice, positive way.
have you looked at the natural solutions at the top of this board? if you have a good read of it you'll see there's a number of supplements which may help your symptoms. magnesium, calcium, fish oil, etc., really have helped me, just over the counter stuff that doesn't interfere with periods but honestly does help the symptoms, but you do need to take them for a few months so they really get into your system. maybe other ladies here have other tips, so it's worth having a good read of all the topics.
hope this helps.
I just love the image of you pulling out Ma-in-laws fingernails one at a time lol.
I have to second the idea of adding fish oils, flax seed oil etc into your diet. It can really help you maintain a positive mind frame during all this. I also take B Stress complex to help with anxiety, magnesium (helps to relax before bed), and I also use natural progesterone cream (although this is not for everyone).
You might want to consider what you're drinking before bed. I found that anything with caffeine in it had me peeing all night long. I had to go to a decaffeinated tea before bed.
This site must be a life saver its just so good to have someone to chat to who understands exactly how I feel. My husband has been really supportive, but cant really understand, and as he has Lyme disease I try not to go on too much.
Yes I have checked out the Natural solutions post - Fish oil seems to be well recommended, do you think they will help with the hot flushes? Not sure whether to continue with the Maca as there were a few comments re being ineffective, and one post seemed to indicate it can cause insomnia and not getting a good night's flushless sleep is my biggest problem. Are both magnesium & calcium beneficial to a good nights sleep?
hi again. yep, i believe from what i've read here, that magnesium, calcium and fish oil are supposed to help with sleep and relaxation. i've never been a good sleeper myself but have got used to having maybe 3 nights a week where i hardly seem to sleep at all, but then the rest of the week my body catches up and i'm so tired i sleep better for a night or two. whereas i used to worry about it, now i just go with the flow. at various times in my life when i've had an occasional need for sleeping tablets (after surgery), even they don't have much affect on me, think i'm just nosey and my mind won't switch off!! just lately, i've been going to bed maybe an hour later and then reading for anything up to an hour, and i do find i'm falling asleep a bit better, rather than lying there, tossing and turning and worrying about not sleeping - it's a vicious circle isn't it?
i take these supplements in an all-in-one pill, specially formulated for menopausal women, although i'm sure you could buy them all seperately and vary the amount of each one depending on what you think you need.
stay cool (that's a joke, right?)
I know we are not allowed to say the name of the all in one brand, can u give me an idea of where I can buy it or at least enable me to make an educated guess, I'm really like the idea of taking one pill with everything in it as I've got a rotten memory and yes its getting much worse.
I agree with you regarding sleep, but my husband has to commute quite long distances and poor soul has to get up before 6.00am and isnt to keen on the light being on too late or me disturbing him as well. When I have had a particular bad patch in the past weve even tried separate bedrooms, but then neither of us slept as we are used to being together.
What is the advantage of flax seed my "beloved" Ma-in-Law used to take them for constipation I think? Also what is B stress have never heard of it on any of the Natural product web sites? Will def take on board your suggestion re the caffeine, as I am def guilty of far too many cups of coffee.
Have you heard the one about the 7 Menopausal Dwarves - Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Bloaty, Sleepy, Forgetful and Psyco!
hi. you're from scotland, i think? i mentioned this in another thread and it was ok, so, boots the chemist, complete menopause. and i take cod liver oil too, in a seperate pill.
totally agree about caffeine too, stopped buying anything with it in about 7 years ago, and can really tell if i accidentally have a cuppa with it in. getting up in the night for a pee, i tried the reverse psychology method, drank more water to try and dilute the urine, rather than drink less and have more concentrated urine. definately worked for me. i think i got a bit paranoid about peeing in the night at one time, and would get up and only manage a teaspoon full. and then get up again... and again. now i don't (or rarely) need to have a pee during the night. as i say, maybe psychological rather than biological - but hey, if it works, it works!
Thanks for your prompt reply.
Yes I'm from just over the border near Gretna Green, but originally we lived in Lytham St Annes, near Blackpool. Not too far from Liverpool which I know well.
I drink loads of water as I am permanently thirsty especially at night - dry mouth syndrome! So when I get up to pee, which is usually every couple of hours during the night I usually empty a full bladder.
I've even cut out most of my alcohol consumption, (this was to help my husband as he is on really strong antibiotics for Lyme disease and cant drink booze at all), in the hope that it might help me sleep and may even loose a bit of weight - guess what sleeps just as bad & no weight loss even tho I am trying to diet as well. I'm sure the menopause makes it much harder to diet and keep weight off!
I have also started at keep fit in the village, to try & get back in shape. Its attended by mostly slightly older ladies, I'm actually the youngest there by far but they put me to shame, as I'm puffing like a steam train, with a beetroot face as they glide past me!
I have this image of a svelt, confident, even-tempered person in the back of my mind - oh where has she gone? I'm sure my poor hubby would like to know.
Last edited by oliveoil54; 01-12-2007 at 03:20 AM.
hi. gaining control of these awful symptoms really is trial and error isn't it? what works for one, etc... i too have been trying to cut down on my wine intake, trouble is it's one of life's real pleasures, having a glass of wine with our evening meal, but i do know what you're saying - weight loss, blood pressure, etc. i just looked up what lyme disease is too, how awful for your husband, hope he's seeing an improvement.
the lack of confidence thing has been a major thing for me over the last 5 years, i can't believe how worried and nervous i get now about things i wouldn't have thought twice about before. have to say, mine is slowly coming back and again, i wonder if this because things menopausal are generally settling. i think it's so important for women to know all these symptoms because they are so life altering, and have such a huge impact on us and our families. all we usually hear about is the hot flushes and heavy/light periods, certainly that's all i was aware of until i found this site. and it's been a great source of information and comfort
by the way, my husband just roared with laughter at the 7 menopausal dwarves, reckons he knows them all intimately!!
As for Dave's Lyme it makes the menopause look like a walk in the park. Its the main reason I joined this help board as the info in the States is far superior to anything in the UK.
Finding this menopause thread has been such an added bonus. Its quite addictive being able to talk to people who just understand!
How long have you been having symptons, I'm just starting my 4th year? They say you tend to take after you Mother, I was 20ish when my beloved Ma went thru the menopause. I dont remember much apart from her being plagued with hot flushes, and being really grumpy etc for years - really long time. I feel really guilty that I was not very understanding, but as I've said before that generation didn't talk about it very much.
I haven't made the same mistake with my daughter who is 20, I've talked quite openly with her about how I feel and how it has affected me. So at least she is much more understanding (when she remembers), but more importantly is much more clued up about what is likely to happen to her when it comes to her time.
Maybe by that time they will have invented the non-toxic cure-all pill! However I'm sure it will have to be invented by a woman, as if we leave up to a man it will be the next millennium!
hi. looking back, and from what i've found out here, i reckon it's been 8-10 years when the first peri (never heard of that till i joined this message board) symptoms started, and that was really, really grouchy pms, then an odd difference with my periods, noticeable because i was always very regular, but nothing remarkable. also, i lost my mum 10 years ago and that totally affected me, physically and mentally. i lost 2 stone very quickly and my periods stopped altogether for a few months, so maybe it was that, or maybe the start of peri. i've had 2 hip replacements over the last 5 years too, and was quite poorly after the 1st one, which again had an affect on my weight and periods - so who knows? peri, grief, surgery?
you're right, it is addictive, i think i feel now that because i'm feeling/dealing with it all 100% better than i was 12 months ago, it maybe helps others to hear that there is light at the end of this deep, dark, and often lonely, tunnel.
Wow youve really been thru the mill. I agree the loss of a parent especially a Mother is devastating, it took me ages to come to terms with my Mum's death, even tho it was a welcome release for her.
I def agree with you just writing about it and learning that other people have had exactly the same symptoms and concerns has helped me enormously. I feel much brighter, even tho the symptons are still there. Hopefully one day in the not too distant future we will get back to some kind of normality.
Tho I doubt if I will ever get rid of this spare tyre, my husband reckons that if he has a puncture on the car, he'll just use that instead.
I agree with the earlier post about magnesium, calcium and fish oils. Many women have found mild relief from making sure they are getting the maximum amount of these. I take them all, plus a few other things. I also started using bioidentical hormones around the same time, so it's difficult to tell which of my symptoms they have helped the most. (I wouldn't take any hormones if I hadn't been in such a bad way 2 years ago). I would certainly give these a try, as well as calcium. You should give serious thought to giving up all caffeine. Even if you tell yourself it is temporary - try to give it a few months. It works as a diuretic and can definitely disrupt your sleep, even having tea in the afternoon. I gave it completely up for at least 6 months or more. Now I can tolerate a little (1-2 cups of tea in the early morning, one or two days a week.) Also, try to limit your liquid intake at least 3 hours before bed. If you have a little alcohol (I mean c'mon we can't give up everything ) try to have it early in the evening too, like with dinner, so it won't affect your sleep either.
I personally am lucky that I rarely get hot flashes and even then it's more of a warm flash without sweating. I have yet to hear of any herb or supplement that helps long term. I have heard that exercise can help. I've always exercised before I had peri and have continued, so maybe that has helped. me. Even if all you do is walk 15-20 minutes a day, it's a start. Stick with it, don't kill yourself doing and make it a part of your every day routine. If you miss a day or two, don't give up, just get back to it. You need to give it some time to see if it really helps. Don't worry about the weight, just think of it as helping you feel better. It could also help a little with your sleeping problems.
I also take Valerian at night for sleeping. It's one of those herbals that you have to take for a few nights for it to kick in. It does seem to help make me sleepy, which is usually my worst type of insomnia. I have to say though, that if I'm in PMS, NOTHING helps me sleep better except a sleep aid, which I might take once a month around that time.