Caring husband - Menopause Message Board

cleansweap · 04-20-2007, 10:59 AM

Help, I'm a desperate husband! My wife is at her wits end, having hot flashes, and mood swings! Because of her blood pressure, the doctor doesn't want to put her on any meds. for the hot flashes or mood swings. He just told her that she need to avoid stress! Yea right. lol.. Like you can avoid stress with a senior coming out of school this year, that's clueless! And a 14 year old son, that's in a world of his on. And then to add to that problem, there's me.
We attempted making love the other night for the first time in months to know avail, because she was to dry! Something she's never had a problem with. This put her on another emotional roller-coaster! So, I guess I shared all of that non-helpful information to say that I feel your pain/fustrations! I speak for all husbands/boyfriends out there. My wife is hot one minute, freezing me to death with the fans going over our bed, and cold the next. I really feel bad, know that theres nothing I can do! It really reminds me of when she was in labor! There was nothing I could do but stay out of the way and pray! Well, I wish you and all women well, going thru this stage of your lives. Your are in my prayers.

mod-anon · 04-20-2007, 11:21 PM

Started a new thread with this post.

rheanna · 04-20-2007, 11:31 PM

cleansweap,

It must be tough watching a family member in turmoil and not knowing what to do to help. Thank you on behalf of menopausal wives/girlfriends everywhere for being interested enough in your wife's physical problems to ask around for some feedback.

Even though your wife is not a candidate for hormones via pills or patches, she can still use an estrogen cream in her vagina to replenish the hormones that her body is no longer making. I have heard from more than one reputable source that the hormones applied vaginally stay in that location, and do not travel to other parts of the body. So vaginal hormone cream would not be a problem for someone with blood pressure problems or other contra-indications.

Have your wife discuss this with her gynaechologist.

And here's a virtual sympathetic hug from someone who also has a long-suffering hubby.

--Rheanna

Lilz · 04-21-2007, 09:47 AM

Hi CLEANSWEAP your wife sounds like my older sister... she is 53 now and has been going thru it for a few years... she WOULD NOT take any medications for her Menopause but she had all the Hot Flashes... Mood Swings... Vaginal Dryness... WOW!!! she was just miserable until someone turned her on to a Natural Dr who showed her how to use Natural Alternatives to Hormone Replacement Therapy... she used Black Cohosh... which she loves and takes Every Single Day now! and also he told her about a Lubricant sort of like KY Gel... but its called ASTRO-GLIDE... she loves it! she was so dry down there that she didnt even want to TRY to make love... her poor husband..... but now for the past couple of years she has been So Happy! so..... [removed] Good Luck to You!!!

cleansweap · 04-23-2007, 12:50 PM

Thanks! To both of you (rheann, lilz) for your kind and helpful words..
My wife is one of those people that you have to drag to a doctors office.lol..
She will go, but not until she absolutely have to. She's 50 pound over weight, and trying her darndest to get rid of it. I told her the menopause crisis, may have alot to do with her slow progress. To answer your question, she has been to her doctor, but no, she hasn't talked to him about the dryness issue yet. I don't know if she would/will, but I will look in to getting her some of the estrogen cream! As for the astro-glide, I have some, and have tried it. It does work, but not to her satisfaction, so I'll keep trying other things until we find something that works. I beleive that theirs definately a combination of the menopause and daily stress that's slowing her weight loss down.

As for now, we are trying natural/herbal products to help with the hot flashes. It's hard to explain to two teens, that their mom is bighting their heads off because she's going through the change of life! My daughter (18) understands some what, but my 14 year old son, well.lol.. That's another story altogether. I'm keeping the faith though! We are a praying family, so with prayer and medicine working together, I know we'll get through this!

Thanks again ladies..