It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Menopause Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 02-24-2008, 06:29 PM   #1
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Hamilton, New Zealand
Posts: 256
JudeNZ HB UserJudeNZ HB User
Sick of new symptoms. Health Anixety taking toll - sick of myself

Hi there,

I thought I was through the worst of it, but little did I know what was around the corner. A few years ago these boards were my saviour, and here I am back again.

I know anxiety gets posted a lot, but thought I'd start a new thread anyway.

It all gets so complicated I find.
I get anxious about every new ache or pain i get. The old familiar ones don't bother me. SO when you need to seek help via herbalist, acupuncturist, Dr, specialist, they're often full of more testing which in my opinion only makes us more nervous.

I think we can get obsessive about seeking help because we feel so jolly bad in ourselves. All we want is to feel like a woman again! Some people don't understand that.

Does anyone else feel like they want to say ENOUGH - and back off and just get on with life with no testing for anything for a while.

For me right now, I'm waking a lot in the night, but do go back to sleep, also having terrible dreams. I pee twice most nights. I'm suffering from headaches.

My libido has up and gone and I wish I knew who had it. I've always been a sexual woman, and now the mind is willing but the flesh can't be bothered. I've also noticed a lessening in nipple sensitvity, and intercourse can hurt at times. But I do enjoy it when I do partake. Having just remarried a few months ago, not a situation I enjoy being in. I am married to the most wonderful man around, and simply adore him. He's so understanding and I feel bad for him. I so want my old self back again.

I'm on meds for high BP and last week it was even higher. I get white coat BP and to be honest I think most of the time it's fine, but I get so churned up having it done it shoots it up.

The worst for me though is my anxiety. I get anxious over every ache and pain, and it's ruining my life, and i hate being like it. I spend days worrying about what probably won't happen. I can have 2 or 3 terminal diseases in one day. I know it's irrational, I know I'm daft, but how the heck do we stop??!! I get so terrified and imagine the worst. It has become a focal point in my life, Knowing others feel the same way and I"m not alone certainly will help. But knowing others have been like it and it has passed would be even better. Seeing light at the end of the tunnel would be bliss.

I feel like I'm a right misery guts and a real pain in the neck to everyone. Especially ME. Gosh do I feel like big hug now.

Jude

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 02-24-2008, 10:33 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: emerald city
Posts: 1,312
rheanna HB Userrheanna HB User
Re: Sick of new symptoms. Health Anixety taking toll - sick of myself

JudeNZ,

{{{hugs!!!}}} and

--Rheanna

Last edited by rheanna; 02-24-2008 at 10:40 PM. Reason: spelling

 
Old 02-25-2008, 01:44 AM   #3
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Hamilton, New Zealand
Posts: 256
JudeNZ HB UserJudeNZ HB User
Re: Sick of new symptoms. Health Anixety taking toll - sick of myself

taaaa that did help. Knowing someone read my inner thoughts. Thoughts and feelings that it's not that easy to share out of embarrassment, and you felt sympathy and empathy for me.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Jude

 
Old 02-25-2008, 08:14 AM   #4
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 124
kazy68 HB User
Re: Sick of new symptoms. Health Anixety taking toll - sick of myself

Hi there jude,

Great big hugs to you, i know how it feels to just need a hug.

I am just like you, well i could be you in fact, i wake up in the night to, but do drop back of, the anixety is a pain, just last night i was full of it, i knew that today i would be on my own for a few hours, i hate being on my own just lately, so last night it started and that was it it didn't stop and at arroun 5am this morning my body had enough and told my mind to sleep and i finaly went of to sleep at 5.30am this morning, and i did not get up to take my son to school so in the end i didn't have to be on my own anyway.

I also have the same sexual problem, the mind says yes but the body says no, i like you have always had a fullfiling sex life, but now at the age of 39 it has gone to live elsewhere, i do wish this part of my life would return so i could say at least somethig works lol, i am so glad my hubby understands and waits for me to say ok, bless him he is so understanding.

I so wish i could be ME, i miss me, and want me back, 3 years of this is enough and i know that this could go on for another 10 years so i myself am not looking forward to the next 10 years but hopefully the symptoms will subside and calm down for all of us, all us women need a break we dont need all this, we deserve some good things in life.

Wishing you well,
kazy

forgive me today ............. tomorrow i may no longer feel guilty
__________________
kazy
x

forgive me today .......tomorrow i may no longer feel guilty

 
Old 02-25-2008, 07:13 PM   #5
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Hamilton, New Zealand
Posts: 256
JudeNZ HB UserJudeNZ HB User
Re: Sick of new symptoms. Health Anixety taking toll - sick of myself

Hi kazy,

Thanks for your post. It really does help doesn't it knowing others feel like we do ourselves.

You touched on something that I didn't mention in my post. You don't like being alone. I too have struggled with that, and find it especially difficult after a weekend or holiday. But lately after having gone to acupuncture for depression that has virtually gone, as did the depression after only session. So thank goodness, as that's one less thing to be anxious about. But I'd dread Monday morning when my husband would be off to work and I'd feel so nervous. It's a good idea to ask yourself what you're nervous about, and what could happen. I did find that helped a bit as well.

If I get my libido back and I've got any to spare I'll send it your way.

Hugs

jude

 
Old 02-25-2008, 09:22 PM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 1,884
cmpgirl HB User
Re: Sick of new symptoms. Health Anixety taking toll - sick of myself

Hello all:
I'm a relative newbie to these boards, and only about a year into "mentalpause". I'm 46, very happily married and have a 23 year old daughter....still living at home! (ugh) Don't get me wrong, I love her to death, but as everyone has mentioned, the sex isn't as frequent as it used to be because of the fatigue, anxiety etc. and her bedroom is only 2 doors down.

When she was younger, she went to sleep early, so it was not such a big deal, but now she's up til all hours, usually in her room and is trying to pay off some debt, so she doesn't go out much anymore. She gets home before my hubby most days and is even hanging around on the weekends!!!

Hubby says sometimes, we should tell her to go out, but what do we respond when she says "why?" I think a truthful answer would scar her for life! lol We know she has plans to move south with some friends, when she gets her debts paid, but it seems like it's taking forever!

Well, not that I'm glad any of us is going through this, but it is nice to know I'm not alone. I just hope we won't totally lose interest before she moves!

Thanks for the chance to vent, and big hugs to all. cmpgirl

 
Old 02-26-2008, 03:47 AM   #7
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 7
bethjjohnson HB User
Re: Sick of new symptoms. Health Anixety taking toll - sick of myself

Quote:
Originally Posted by kazy68 View Post
Hi there jude,

Great big hugs to you, i know how it feels to just need a hug.

I am just like you, well i could be you in fact, i wake up in the night to, but do drop back of, the anixety is a pain, just last night i was full of it, i knew that today i would be on my own for a few hours, i hate being on my own just lately, so last night it started and that was it it didn't stop and at arroun 5am this morning my body had enough and told my mind to sleep and i finaly went of to sleep at 5.30am this morning, and i did not get up to take my son to school so in the end i didn't have to be on my own anyway.

I also have the same sexual problem, the mind says yes but the body says no, i like you have always had a fullfiling sex life, but now at the age of 39 it has gone to live elsewhere, i do wish this part of my life would return so i could say at least somethig works lol, i am so glad my hubby understands and waits for me to say ok, bless him he is so understanding.

I so wish i could be ME, i miss me, and want me back, 3 years of this is enough and i know that this could go on for another 10 years so i myself am not looking forward to the next 10 years but hopefully the symptoms will subside and calm down for all of us, all us women need a break we dont need all this, we deserve some good things in life.

Wishing you well,
kazy

forgive me today ............. tomorrow i may no longer feel guilty
Hi,

I've suffered from panic disorder/anxiety for years now, and finally, after another panic attack and being sent to the ER hyperventilating, I was recommended a specialist in anxiety and panic. He specializes in cognitive-behavioral therapy. It's wildly known as the only effective, non-medication, form of complete treatment of anxiety and panic. I've been going for a month now and it's helped immensely. I can't tell you how much sleep I've lost, the ridiculous amounts of things I've been afraid of, and the dollars I've wasted on other treatments. I, too, hate being left alone...it leaves my mind too much time to wander...but since treatment it's been getting easier, and my panic attacks have reduced as well. I've learned to come to terms with the anxiety and not let it rule my life. I know it sounds kind of silly, but it seriously works.

Good luck!

 
Old 02-26-2008, 03:59 AM   #8
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 7
bethjjohnson HB User
Re: Sick of new symptoms. Health Anixety taking toll - sick of myself

Quote:
Originally Posted by JudeNZ View Post
Hi there,

I thought I was through the worst of it, but little did I know what was around the corner. A few years ago these boards were my saviour, and here I am back again.

I know anxiety gets posted a lot, but thought I'd start a new thread anyway.

It all gets so complicated I find.
I get anxious about every new ache or pain i get. The old familiar ones don't bother me. SO when you need to seek help via herbalist, acupuncturist, Dr, specialist, they're often full of more testing which in my opinion only makes us more nervous.

I think we can get obsessive about seeking help because we feel so jolly bad in ourselves. All we want is to feel like a woman again! Some people don't understand that.

Does anyone else feel like they want to say ENOUGH - and back off and just get on with life with no testing for anything for a while.

For me right now, I'm waking a lot in the night, but do go back to sleep, also having terrible dreams. I pee twice most nights. I'm suffering from headaches.

My libido has up and gone and I wish I knew who had it. I've always been a sexual woman, and now the mind is willing but the flesh can't be bothered. I've also noticed a lessening in nipple sensitvity, and intercourse can hurt at times. But I do enjoy it when I do partake. Having just remarried a few months ago, not a situation I enjoy being in. I am married to the most wonderful man around, and simply adore him. He's so understanding and I feel bad for him. I so want my old self back again.

I'm on meds for high BP and last week it was even higher. I get white coat BP and to be honest I think most of the time it's fine, but I get so churned up having it done it shoots it up.

The worst for me though is my anxiety. I get anxious over every ache and pain, and it's ruining my life, and i hate being like it. I spend days worrying about what probably won't happen. I can have 2 or 3 terminal diseases in one day. I know it's irrational, I know I'm daft, but how the heck do we stop??!! I get so terrified and imagine the worst. It has become a focal point in my life, Knowing others feel the same way and I"m not alone certainly will help. But knowing others have been like it and it has passed would be even better. Seeing light at the end of the tunnel would be bliss.

I feel like I'm a right misery guts and a real pain in the neck to everyone. Especially ME. Gosh do I feel like big hug now.

Jude
Hi Jude,

I'm sorry you feel like you've lost control of your life. That's how I feel most of the time, so I can relate. I've had panic disorder/anxiety for years. I'm finally getting the help I need though. I suffer from health anxiety. I define it as an abnormal obsession and focus on bodily sensations. It primarily occurs in people who are more sensitive to things. You might detect a cold coming on sooner than someone else, you might notice small changes in behaviors more easily than others. Most psychologist will recommend seeing a psychiatrist and getting some medication to sooth your anxiety. Well, if you were like me and had horrible reactions to anxiety meds. you're probably not very enthusiastic or willing to go that route. It doesn't cure the problem anyway, only masks it. The problem is psychological. As some point your brain decided to associate bodily sensations (the other people probably wouldn't even notice) with potential death and other negative outcomes. Cognitive-behavioral therapy rocks. It sounds fancy, but really it's just working with a doctor to help retrain the associations you make with those scary, but harmless, bodily sensations. I've had panic attacks for a long time, and at one point I was scared to take showers because I had an attack while bathing once. I couldn't even leave the house to get the mail. I'm so lucky that an ER attendant recommended CBT by a specialist in my area, or I probably would never have found help. I had already given up. It's really helped though, and I only say this because I hate that this thing exists, and that people have to live in almost constant fear. I really hope you find help, and you can get your sex life back. I have no doubt about that. You just need some help refocusing your mind. You'll be okay. Kudos to your husband for being so awesome

 
Old 02-26-2008, 04:07 AM   #9
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 7
bethjjohnson HB User
Re: Sick of new symptoms. Health Anixety taking toll - sick of myself

Quote:
Originally Posted by cmpgirl View Post
Hello all:
I'm a relative newbie to these boards, and only about a year into "mentalpause". I'm 46, very happily married and have a 23 year old daughter....still living at home! (ugh) Don't get me wrong, I love her to death, but as everyone has mentioned, the sex isn't as frequent as it used to be because of the fatigue, anxiety etc. and her bedroom is only 2 doors down.

When she was younger, she went to sleep early, so it was not such a big deal, but now she's up til all hours, usually in her room and is trying to pay off some debt, so she doesn't go out much anymore. She gets home before my hubby most days and is even hanging around on the weekends!!!

Hubby says sometimes, we should tell her to go out, but what do we respond when she says "why?" I think a truthful answer would scar her for life! lol We know she has plans to move south with some friends, when she gets her debts paid, but it seems like it's taking forever!

Well, not that I'm glad any of us is going through this, but it is nice to know I'm not alone. I just hope we won't totally lose interest before she moves!

Thanks for the chance to vent, and big hugs to all. cmpgirl
No offense, but your daughter's 23 years old. I think she can handle being told that her constant presence is hindering your sex life. Tell her that you and your man need some alone time. Maybe give her ten bucks to go see a movie, if she's worried about spending money. Also, keep in mind that if she's that worried about money that she won't even go out once in a while, there might be more to the problem. She could be feeling discouraged and depressed about her financial situation, and therefore not feel like enjoying things she used to. Some questions and a little listening can go a long way. For BOTH of you! Don't underestimate her just because she's your daughter. She is an adult, and I'm sure she's had plenty of sex herself. I don't think it would cause any harm to just be honest with her.

 
Old 02-26-2008, 11:17 AM   #10
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Hamilton, New Zealand
Posts: 256
JudeNZ HB UserJudeNZ HB User
Re: Sick of new symptoms. Health Anixety taking toll - sick of myself

Thanks for the replies, as we all keep saying it helps immensely knowing others feels the same.

I will ask or do some research for the CBT, I wonder if hypnosis would have similar effect, as I do need to change my triggers. You're right in what you say Beth about being more aware, and I am a sensitive person. I think it all compounds, as once you get into that cycle, you become more aware of every ache and pain. It becomes your daily pattern.

yes I am truly blessed with thee most amazing husband - i simply adore him as he does me, and that's why it's so frustrating as it's the sort of relationship I've wanted all my life. So the last thing i want to do is ruin it with all this 'garbage'.


CMP Girl - I did smile at your 23yr old causing a problem for you and your husband.

If that was my 22 yr old, I'd only need make a slight inference we wanted to have some serious smooching and she'd have left the house instantly in disgust. Have you tried having a bit of a 'pash' in front of her and see if it has her running for the nearest friend's house.

But I do think at 23 you should be able to say, "darling, Dad and I ( or your partner's name), need a bit of time together," and if she's short on money then maybe yes, shout her out to the movies.

Good luck

Jude

 
Old 02-26-2008, 11:44 AM   #11
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 1,884
cmpgirl HB User
Re: Sick of new symptoms. Health Anixety taking toll - sick of myself

Thanks Jude,In answer to your question, yes we have tried a bit of a "pash", (I like that term by the way) in front of her, but it hasn't sent her out the door, yet. Makes you wonder how far one would have to go to achieve that?? LOL*

I'm sure that it won't be log now, but I do have to say, I'm looking forward to the time that hubby and I can have the opportunity to relive the old days. I think what the kids today think (just as I suppose we did at their age) that because we're closing in on the half century mark that we don't even think about that anymore. What hubby and I often comment to each other is that all those people who told us when we were horrified kids, about getting better with age, is true. I guess I could say that I'll take quality over quantity any day. (Boy, am I full of old cliche's today!!!)

Anyway, thanks again for the support and have a terrific day!

 
Old 02-27-2008, 11:42 AM   #12
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Hamilton, New Zealand
Posts: 256
JudeNZ HB UserJudeNZ HB User
Re: Sick of new symptoms. Health Anixety taking toll - sick of myself

GOOD luck with getting the old days back again - don't leave it too long though, or you might be like me and find that not only have the chickens flown the coop but the libido has gone with it!!

Been thinking about the old anxiety and been doing some reading, and found the CBT info very helopful. Suddenly it dawned on m,e it's like taking nurofen for a sore back - what I really need is a physio. I've been trying to treat the anxiety and what I need to fix is the root problem. So I've accepted there is something wrong with me after all - my mind needs help - I am suffering from a very real phobia and I CAN get it fixed.

I felt better just admitting that actually.

So this morning I've spoken to a wonderful man who comes very highly recommended. He's a counsellor and also does hypnotherapy. He says yes he can help me with those things. I told him it's destroying my life and I need help.

So I've got an appointment for next Tuesday and I'll keep you all posted.

I feel a bit lighter all ready.

Jude

 
Old 02-27-2008, 03:45 PM   #13
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 1,884
cmpgirl HB User
Re: Sick of new symptoms. Health Anixety taking toll - sick of myself

Hi Jude: I'm so glad that you 1) realized that it may be the right thing for you to go see someone and 2) that it actually helped just to acknowledge it. I've seen my Psyciatrist for about 1 year now. The main reason I went, was for anxiety. What I realized very soon thereafter was, I was there because there were issues in my life that were causing me to have anxiety. (It's really a very freeing and somewhat scary realization)

I have not regretted it once. The doc I see is an amazingly insightful man, who is compassionate and forthright at the same time, which is really what I feel I need. I can be pretty stubborn sometimes. (oh, who am I kidding...ALL the time) and I really needed someone who could comfort me when I needed it but not coddle me. And he's that person.

I may not like everything he brings to my attention at first, but I find that when I get home, talk with my hubby about it, and give myself a chance to sit with it for a while...he's usually right on the mark.

I hope you have a great experience with the doc/therapist that you are going to see. One thing to keep in mind though, is that you should not get discouraged if the first person you go to isn't the right fit for you; not everybody has the same experiences with one person. My cousin ended up with the second person he saw and has had great success.

Again, I'm so glad you feel better by even making the decision. I know you won't regret it. It's made such a positive difference in my life. God Bless and keep us posted. cmpgirl

 
Old 02-27-2008, 05:09 PM   #14
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Hamilton, New Zealand
Posts: 256
JudeNZ HB UserJudeNZ HB User
Re: Sick of new symptoms. Health Anixety taking toll - sick of myself

You're so right - today I feel almost liberated that I've acknowledged I have a phobia, and that's ok.

After all I'm always worrying there's something wrong wtih me and now there is hehehehehe - almost perfect.

BUt I do feel good and might even post saying I've had a good day - and what has helped me to do that. What do you think???

Jude

 
Old 02-28-2008, 11:11 AM   #15
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 1,884
cmpgirl HB User
Re: Sick of new symptoms. Health Anixety taking toll - sick of myself

Jude dear,

What a great thing to be able to actually say "it's been a good day". At our time of life, we should all be able to say it. Here I go back to my cliches, but, "Youth IS really wasted on the young".

I really can't wait to hear how your appointment goes. My current course of treatment includes therapy and Rx anxiety meds. And it seems to work pretty well, for now. I only take the meds when I absolutely need to, especially because I have to take so many others every day for my chronic pain. But, down the road, I would really like to see what else is out there and can't wait to see how it goes with your guy.

Take good care, my dear, and I hope today is a "good one". God Bless, cmpgirl

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Weird Symptoms - Very Red Skin LC001 General Health 0 05-25-2009 03:06 PM
what to do if Doctors can't find medical problem but you are sick islandmadre General Health 4 10-14-2008 11:19 AM
Sick because depressed or depressed because sick? gremlin55 Depression 4 06-09-2007 07:34 AM
Vent...No one understands I'm sick! jmcummins3 Thyroid Disorders 19 02-06-2007 10:12 AM
I'm sick of being sick!! AlwyzSick Chronic Fatigue 35 12-13-2006 08:18 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Titchou (71), STLouisgal (30), WhistleDixie (23), missy222 (20), irisrose (19), jojopooh (19), solofelix (17), jw90 (10), georgina77 (9), CrazyLife414 (8)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1164), MSJayhawk (999), Apollo123 (898), Titchou (833), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (758), ladybud (747), sammy64 (667), midwest1 (665), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:41 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!