Blinking symptoms back full force!!!! - Menopause Message Board

pud · 05-17-2008, 05:23 AM

Hi Ladies,
All I can say is, what a Godsend these boards are! You will all know my story by now that the anti-depressants I had for years stopped working during the menopause and since then I have tried a few of the more modern A/Ds, SSRIs, but have all increased my anxiety levels so didn't stay on them. Now I'm wondering whether I should try again - doc says you have to persevere through the increased anxiety at first before they work properly! OK for HIM!! So at moment on my old drugs still and also some tranx which apparently are a cross between a tranx and a/d, but I will need to wean off them eventually.

Anyway, so glad to see in particular cmpgirl's post about how her doctor told her we could have one good week then one bad (in my case it's DAYS not weeks) and that therefore we are not just imagining it. How helpful that was to me! Frustratingly I can have some really good times when the anxiety symptoms do not matter if they come, then, like today, they bother me BIG TIME! As soon as I wake up my stomach just churns over and over and goes on for ages. I also still get the internal tremors, though for some reason that doesn't bother me as much as the stomach churning.

Is this just me or is it the menopause? When I saw a psychiatrist she said it was meno plus a combination of other factors, empty nest syndrome, etc, etc, but I have coped with things in the past without becoming like this, though mostly I do seem to be better when out and about in company or at work, even though maybe I rush about too much to try to forget my symptoms. Perhaps I should take care of myself a bit more as I think we ARE phsycially ill with this - hormone imbalance!

Thankfully most of the other symptoms I had have either gone or diminished greatly, the feeling weird and strange (not being able to explain to others how this feels - except you guys!!) and most of the depression has lifted. But you begin to wonder if it is all just psychological, especially the anxiety. or a chemical imbalance in the brain. I really don't know.

Another thing I wanted to ask you guys, is it part of the meno to be thinking about how you feel every second of every day? Even when I am out and about in company or working I am still aware of how I am feeling all the time. VERY occasionally I will get lost in something gripping on the TV or at work and forget myself for a while, then I'll suddenly think oh, I forgot myself for a while there and felt "normal" - and so remember again!! Perhaps one day we will all get back to being normal again. Don't know how long this goes on for. I've been like this for about 18 months now, I'm 54 and it was when my periods stopped completely I became worse.

Anyway, I'm so glad for these boards, they are what keeps me going at times to know others are understanding and for all the helpful tips and advice. I do drink lots of soy milk now and take Oil of Evening Primrose each day - maybe that helps a little too.......

Much love to you all, and you are all in my prayers.

Pud
xxx

cmpgirl · 05-18-2008, 12:38 AM

Hello Pud, I can totally relate to the churning feeling in the stomach. For me, it's the same kind of feeling that I get when I sense trouble brewing somewhere. Almost like "waiting for the other shoe to drop" if you will. My psych says it is more than likely another manifestation of the anxiety. It's the same with the almost "obsessing" about not feeling well. Anxiety rearing it's ugly head. As you know, that's why I commonly refer to it as mentalpause.

There is another thing that makes me want to pull my hair out. Not being able to get a word out of my mouth, that I've probably said a million times throughout my life, but can not seem to remember. It makes me feel like a complete idiot! I'll be having a conversation with someone and Poof! there goes the next word that I was going to say. Right out of my head and into the universe!

I'm glad you're seeing gradual improvement with the meds. I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately, and my psych doc gave me Klonopin to help with that. It's an anti-anxiety med, like Xanax, but it has a longer "half life", as they call it, so it lasts longer than Xanax, which tends to last about 4-6 hours total. It definitely made a difference. Hopefully, I can get back into a normal sleep pattern and not have to take it too often.

Good chatting with you. I've been busy and haven't been on as much, but I'm getting back on a little more now. Take good care. I'm sending you cyber hugs, cmpgirl

pud · 05-18-2008, 03:15 AM

Hi cmpgirl,

Thanks for your reply.

I did have to laugh when you said about not being able to get a word out - I am also like this. As well as this I often say things back to front, like if I wanted to say "put the knives and forks on the table" I will say something like "put the table on the knives and forks"! I also forgot I was doing a shift at work last week, also went in for one I wasn't down for (no idea why I'd put/not put them in my diary!!) I'm sure my colleagues think I'm mad (probably am!), though I have explained to them it's the meno, also one or two of my colleagues are the same!!

After having a really bad morning with anxiety yesterday, I had a really good afternoon at work. This seems to be how it goes. Somehow have to get ourselves in the mindset of accepting that this is going to happen for some time while we go through meno rather than trying to rush ourselves better - it aint gonna happen like that I've realised, also that I have to be kinder to myself as I am poorly at the moment, but improving slowly, (I think!!!!)

Keep posting and keep healing.

Pud
xxx

mod-anon · 05-18-2008, 02:06 PM

Laye,

I've moved your post to the other thread
[url]http://www.healthboards.com/boards/showthread.php?t=601656[/url]
"Need Another Pep Talk!"

TEdds83 · 05-18-2008, 04:21 PM

Wow! Can I relate to this! I have been getting worried because I get my words and sentences turned around. I feel like I have fuzzy brain. I have always been really articulate and great with words and speech. Now right I still have periods and during PMS and that time of the month I find it hard to get all my words out smoothly. Sometimes I combine two words. It's as if I was thinking ahead to the next word and put them together. Am I crazy or what?