rheanna

jnnfr0447,

I started the symptoms of peri when I was 39, without any "help" from surgery. Other women on this board have reported that they started peri in their 30's.

My suggestion is to discuss HRT (hormone replacement therapy) with your gynocologist. There are losts of forms available (pills, creams, patches) and lots of different dosages. There may be something that will work for you to replace the hormones that your body is no longer producing. The risk factors that may make it inadvisable to take HRT are a family history of heart problems or cancer.

Even if you have these risk factors, and you decide that HRT is not for you, another possibility is the use of estrogen cream in your vagina. Lack of estrogen makes the vagina very dry, resulting in painful intercourse. My understanding is that the vaginal cream gives estrogen only to the local tissues, and therefore can be used by women who should not take hormones otherwise.

As to what to do about the lack of interest in sex -- that is certainly more difficult. Our poor men-folk are surprised and clueless about why we suddenly become less than lovey-dovey when our hormones drop due to perimenopause. Not to mention our own surprise as well! Other than substitute hormones, I don't have an answer for this.

However, many women use this time of hormonal chaos to re-examine their lives and make some changes. It ain't easy and I'm not in any way making light of it. But it may be possible to open up some channels of communication with your husband to find some new ways to relate with each other (more cuddling and conversation and less sex?). Many women find that they are less tolerant of the demands that other people have been putting on them, and they start thinking of ways to meet their own needs.

I don't have any answers. But I can sympathise. Perhaps some other ladies have some other words of wisdom to share.

--Rheanna