I need a woman's help! - Menopause Message Board

giddyup715 · 10-05-2003, 01:44 AM

My mom died young, and I am the only girl in the family with 7 brothers. My friends that are female are younger than I. I'm going to be 47 in 2 weeks. I have no idea about menopause and what it is all about. Can someone tell me what's going on with me?
I had 5 kids. The youngest is now 17 yrs old. My dr. (sux) has told me to just yank out my uterus and go on hormones, (now I understand why he married his nurse after getting a divorce, after an affair). He just isn't a woman's Dr. at all. This is what's going on with me. Married woman, 5 kids, waking up with night sweats, and having hot flashes during the day. I look like **** and my co-workers aren't afraid to tell me this either. I let it go in one ear and out the other. They are about 10 years or younger than me.
I've gained about 60# in the last year and a 1/2 for no apparent reason. I've gone to my Dr. and he blames my aches and pains on arthritis and gives me scripts of Motrin and other inflammatory's. The last 6 months, I've had night sweats, waking up and opening the slider and windows to stay cool. My husband freezes to death, but copes and throws on an extra blanket. At work, my co-workers make fun of me cause I break into a sweat and am fanning myself, and tease me about how I don't work hard enough to break a sweat. (They tease me cause I work the hardest around there, and because I work for the govt. they say I shouldn't work so hard). My head spins, my moods are getting spiteful, I'm dizzy a lot, and I never got my last period!
When you r in menopause, do periods just stop?
I haven't had a period in 2 months. Had all the symptoms of a period, jsut no bleeding. Boobs hurt, bloated, mind games, but no period. Am I in menopause?
Am I going to get another period or do they just stop?
As far as sex goes, it's great (when we are alone to do it) but as far as initiating it, he always has to, or I'd never have time or think of doing it. I really wish my mom was around to answer these questions for me, but she's been gone for a long time. My mother-in-law can't answer them, she is religiously battling anything carnal (whatever that means).

serenityelf · 10-05-2003, 09:19 AM

You are not alone and welcome to the board. There is a phase you go through before menopause called perimenopause. You can put that or menopause into a search engine and come up tons of great information. Canada has a government fact page about it, and it answers the most common questions. If you take some time and scroll down these pages you'll also find a lot of women here struggling with the same things ang getting support and a lot of useful tips from others on this site. AT last count, I've read there are at least 34 symptoms including the ones you mentioned. The people at your work seem thoughtless..but when that happens to me, from younger women, I always smile because I know they'll get theirs soon. Part of the classes I teach are in human nature, and it appears when people need to say mean comments, cloaked with humour, they do it to feel better about themselves..sadly, at someone else's expense. Cheer up dear woman..we are with you.

cloverberry · 10-05-2003, 11:19 AM

you sound like you're having the same problems I had. I gained 50 to 60 pounds. I had the sleep problems. That's problably why you look bad now. Not getting enough sleep. I started taking an antidepressant to help me sleep and I'm still taking it. Get a different doctor. This doctor doesn't know enough about menopause. My mother would't talk about menopause. Menopause to her meant you were getting old.

Geneva1 · 10-05-2003, 03:40 PM

I started perimenopause at 39, (still in it at 44) and didn't even realize what it was. I'd get upset about something, my periods would stop, and I had hot flashes when I drank coffee or wine. I'd always heard that stress could cause your menses to stop, so I didn't pay that much attention to it. I thought stress was causing the flashes too. Now, looking back, I know exactly what it was. Your periods may or may not start again. I've heard that once your periods have stopped for a full year, that you have actually menopaused. Perimenopause can last for years, periods come and go, symptoms change as you go along, and they come and go too. Everyone is different.

If you have explained your symptoms to your Dr, and he/she (probably a HE) still thinks it's all arthritis,
I'd find another Dr tomorrow! You need one that listens, especially through this!

Geneva

giddyup715 · 10-05-2003, 11:39 PM

TY all for your comments! I've been reading around about menopause and am learning a lot! I know i have to ditch this Dr. and get a new one soon! I'm just concerned about the abrupt stoppage of my period. I thought it would just be a little late and not totally disappear. Now, I'm thinking maybe there is something going on inside. Oh well, I guess it's time to do some Dr. shopping!