I hate perimenopause, I hate headaches, I hate feeling blue, i hate leg cramps, I hate the constant tailbone pain, I hate menstrual cycles, I hate myself, I hate my life, I hate my husband, I hate my job, I hate crying, I hate itching all the time, I hate feeling cloudy, I hate the tingling all over my body, I hate getting up every morning, I hate people telling me what to do, I hate people that look at me wrong, I hate people that ask me what is wrong......I HATE EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE RIGHT NOW........There is more that I hate, but I can't think right now, too big of a headache to think....
I have never felt so bad in my life....
How do people get through this crap...
I just want it to go away and be happy again.
I know life isn't easy or hard, but I can't deal with this.......
I just don't know what to do to make myself feel better, without spending money or talking myself into feeling better.
Just about everynight I take a bath, thinking I will feel somewhat better, it just takes the chill away for a while then I freeze again.
My husband can't live in a warm or perfect temperature place because he has vertigo, so I suffer and freeze and he thinks I am crazy, I think he is crazy for living in a constant a/c 70 degrees, I like it at 73 but then he gets sick......
I want this to stop for good, there is no way to stop this for good for a long time....
Sorry for the ranting but I needed to get this off my chest......
AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH
Last edited by isitjustme; 09-15-2011 at 05:49 PM.
The following user gives a hug of support to isitjustme: kittywitty (09-15-2011)
Yep sounds like menopause or perimenopause to me. Can you see a doctor and get hormone treatments? I can certainly relate! I'm going to try some progesterone cream and see if that helps, I have heard it does wonders but you may want to get yours prescription if you can. It does sound like your hormones are way out of wack! Really, if you can afford it, go to someone that specializes in this and not just a GP or they'll just put you on Prozac or something like that. UGH!
I totally get how you're feeling. I've been at this crap for 4 years (since age 37, I'm 41 now). Some of my symptoms have gotten better, yet still others seem to get worse. It just seems like there's no end in sight. I'm even on progesterone cream and still feel like crap. My levels are supposedly normal and 'in range' according to my recent bloodwork. Don't let that discourage you, though. My testosterone is low as far as I'm concerned, so I think that has a lot to do with it. It's supposed to be less than 75 for a woman my age. Well, my reading was '23'. My husband and I have had sex twice in the last 9 months. The second time I was completely numb. I think my T could come up just a hair, don't you?? I'm with the other poster, though. You need to get your levels checked and find out where you're at and then proceed from there. You don't want to just start adding hormones without knowing where yours are at. They do fluctuate throughout the month normally, but you need to get a general idea what's going on. I'll be getting a saliva test done at the end of the month for my hormones (saliva vs. blood I'm told is more accurate). I want to find out where exactly I am in a range for the T. Then I'll be taking the results to new 'menopause specialist' at my gyno's office. If my levels are off and she hands me script for Prozac, I'll be telling her to shove it, believe me.
Last edited by kittywitty; 09-15-2011 at 08:45 PM.
T O T A L L Y understand. THAT feeling comes and goes and I can't stand myself when that happens and I get really anxious and have a guilty feeling come over me too that I can't shake. I just want to crawl in a corner and die when I get that feeling...UGH! It will pass - or at least I am telling myself...
I hate everything right now..... 
