Join Date: Oct 2011
| | Menopause SUCKS!
Hi all, my name is Nancy. This is my first post to this board, but I've been reading some of yours. This place is fantastic! I have been experiencing soooo many different things that *I* never would have associated with peri- or menopause. I've been thinking I have cancer that spread to my brain. Things similar to that, because I've been a changed person for a few months. By the way, I will turn 45 in March.
Hubby had a heart attack in April at age 40, that did significant damage to his heart. They put a stent in, but he still hasn't recovered quite as well as we thought or hoped. He takes his meds and goes to the Dr., but those are the only changes he's made since the MI. He still smokes, he doesn't watch his diet and he isn't getting any more exercise than he ever did. He has lost almost 50 pounds tho!
The reason I mention hubby is that that put so very much stress on me, since I was his only caregiver since the MI.
I have a 14 yr old daughter who relies on me to take care of anything school-related for her, so that was on me also. My hubby and daughter are total slobs lol. I'm NOT saying I'm a neat freak, I was lazy to begin with.
Also, I already had anxiety and depression (diagnosed 10 yrs ago) and take meds for the anxiety but have had trouble finding the right thing for the depression. Anyway....
Back in June, I had a regular period. Then two weeks later, I started again. Regular, but obviously two weeks early. Then, two weeks later again, another one! I have always been very regular. So I went to my dr. who scheduled an ultrasound for me. But in between that time, the every two week period thing stopped, so I just didn't go.
I now haven't had a period since then! I'm ok with that, and I actually did wonder if this was the start of Peri. I haven't done much research on menopause because I figured that nah, I'm too young for it yet. But the longer the periods didn't come, the more I thought that maybe that was what it was.
About 2 months ago, I started having some really weird things happening to me. I couldn't remember stuff. Tip of the tongue syndrome anyone? I started to be soooo tired and sleepy that I literally would get up with my daughter in the morning, take her to school, then come home and fall back to sleep sitting up on the couch until 3 or 4 pm! I couldn't help it, I was just so tired!
I would wake up, eat, talk to hubby and daughter for a while, maybe get on the computer, then sit to watch a movie or something at like 6 or 7. And immediately fall asleep sitting up again on the couch. Until probably 1 am or so, then I'd wake up and be awake til the next morning.
I also noticed other things. I was becoming angry. I don't just mean, kinda mad at stuff, but ANGRY. And that was NOT like me. I have been for all my life a doormouse. I let people walk all over me because I don't like confrontation. I felt, although not "violent", just like I want to shake people who act or say dumb things. I've never been like that ever.
I had no clue what was going on. My feet, especially, go numb all the time. I have headaches contantly. I have gas like you wouldn't believe, and I can't even believe I'm going to admit this, but I have no loss of bladder control, but at night, in bed, I sometimes lose control of my bowels!
I have slight hot flashes, which seem to go away as quick as they come. I've been so depressed and the anxiety, although I had both before, has become unbearable.
Since I stopped my periods in June, after having 3 periods 2 weeks apart, and then on top of that, with all the other symptoms, I honestly thought that I may have had some type of female cancer that had spread to my brain. And I didn't go and get checked because truthfully, I didn't care. I felt that will all that was going on (physically AND mentally) death by cancer didn't sound so bad. All I cared about was that all this pain and mental torture would go away.
Finally, a couple weeks ago, the anger started to get out of control.
I'm feeling argumentative, losing my patience with my family and friends, ect.
Yesterday I finally went to my dr., because I also have bad back pain for years, never diagnosed with anything though. But its gotten worse, as has just general pain in my joints and muscles.
I explained how I was feeling and asked the Dr. if he thought I MIGHT be going through peri..he said no, you are in full blown menopause! Well....ok then.
He spent a lot of time talking to me about it, and it made me feel good that he didn't think I was just crazy. He actually took me seriously, and explained that that is why it's sometimes called "Change of Life" because your life can change totally.
He said that I can NOT do everything, like I've been trying to do, by myself. I told him about my job, and he told me I need to just take a week's vacation to get a grip on my feelings and to just rest.
I am so exhausted all the time, and right now, I feel like I don't care about anything. My house is so disgusting that I worry if my landlord came here we'd get evicted. Does it bother me? Hell yes. But, can I do anything about it? NO. Physically and mentally, I am stuck to the couch or my computer chair.
All in all, sorry about the long post. Wanted to tell my story and to say thanks to ALL of those who have posted about their experiences. So many "symptoms" that I've had, I would never had connected them to menopause. Now that I know I'm not alone while farting constantly makes me feel better lol.
Now that I know that not being able to remember my neighbor's name is acttually one of the signs of menopause, I'm feeling, although not better yet, but way less crazy!
The dr. put me on Premarin, a very low dose. I am a smoker so he warned me about the increased risk of clots. Besides that, he just told me that the other side effects of this is that I may spot or even have a period weeks, months or even years after now. Thats ok with me. As long as I know why!
So, seriously glad I found this board. I will read every day. And by the way, my wonderful hubby, after hearing about all of this and the REAL way I've been feeling (I'd not been telling him how bad I was feeling) gave me the whole week until Monday off.
Thanks ladies for listening!