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Old 04-16-2012, 02:21 PM   #1
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How do Women deal with the emotional aspects of menopause?

How do women get through menopause without completely losing it? It took me so long to get to a place in my life where I thought I had it all figured out and just when I thought I had gotten to that place, I now feel like I have no idea who I am anymore. I feel invisible and conspicuous both at the same time. I feel like every time I open my mouth to say anything that I sound like a mental patient. I just want to be happy and normal again. I'm taking Estroven max and Estroven nighttime. I can't talk to anyone about this because no one wants to hear about my problems -- every one has problems of their own. And the few friends I have are much younger. It's always been easy to put on a happy face and just be positive all the time, which is what people want, mostly because for the most part I was happy. Now I question every choice I've ever made, I have nothing but abject fear about the future, and I don't know how I am going to get through this without losing it. All I hear is it's normal, it's normal. Does anyone have any practical solutions because I feel like I will be totally alone by the time it's over because no one will be able to stand me much longer.

 
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Old 04-16-2012, 02:32 PM   #2
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Re: How do Women deal with the emotional aspects of menopause?

i hear you. It is really tough. I don't have answers myself but big hugs. It seems people who have not gone through it don't have a clue. Last time i talked to my sister I complained abit about my symptoms all she said is it is normal not a disease. I can't wait for her to go through it in a few years. As for now I take it one day at a time

 
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Old 04-16-2012, 05:41 PM   #3
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Re: How do Women deal with the emotional aspects of menopause?

You can say that again. I was always a planner and did not understand the concept of taking one day at a time but I sure do now. Sometimes at work it's even one hour at a time. I am constantly second guessing myself and feeling like I should just pack up and move away and start over fresh somewhere else because I've burned all my bridges here and no one cares and no one would even notice if I weren't here, except my husband and son but I would take them with me anyway. But are you through with menopause and on the other side now and if so, does it get better to where you feel like your old self again? If I have to go through this longterm with no end in sight I might as well end it all right now because I can't imagine being like this longterm.

 
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Old 04-16-2012, 06:26 PM   #4
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Re: How do Women deal with the emotional aspects of menopause?

For me, my doctor changed my bcp and that did the trick. When the time came, I went straight to HRT. Have been fine all along....the hormones do the trick.

 
Old 04-17-2012, 12:06 AM   #5
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Re: How do Women deal with the emotional aspects of menopause?

I so identify with all of you and my heart goes out to all of you. I feel the same, like chucking everything in, moving away and starting afresh. Everyone just wants a piece of me and I am in pieces already! Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem - so even though it seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel and it will never get better that is the nature of the emotions to make you feel like that, the bad or the good make you feel as if you have always felt that way and it will last forever. I have tried natural hormone cream which worked for a year or so but doesn't help anymore. I am 52, still having periods and now suffering hot spells not sure if they are full blown flashes, abdominal pain and a deep sense being overwhelmed by life and people. I can't cope with thinking about the future, even the next day or hour or planning anything and people who are authoritative in my life are annoying me to the point where I want to sever my relationship with them completely before I tell them what I think of them. With one being my boss, there is not much chance of that until I am financial independent of my job. I know its me and not them because all of my relationships are stressing me out and causing me to feel really unhappy. What I tell myself is to be mindful of my thoughts and feelings and do all I can to be aware of them and give myself time and space to let them go and to remember that thoughts and feelings are not always a true indication of how things really are. Its not always practical to do this, I know. I am swimming three times a week before work which helps with joint stiffness and stress relief and I am also using acupressure points on the body and let go of stress or any unwanted feelings. It really does help me the most at the moment. The key is to keep your mind focused as much on the present moment as possible. Its a very tall order but there are exercises, books and cds that can help train the mind and I am giving as much attention to this as everything else because at the end of the day, the present moment is all we have the past is finished and cannot exist in the present moment the future isn't here yet and can't exist in the present moment either - so both are not real - only the present moment is real. If we focus on the future, if it is a good perception it will make us impatient to be there and reluctant to stay in the present moment and if it is a bad perception it will make us worry. The present moment is the only place where we can find refuge, peace and freedom from suffering and all our future moments and indeed our past were once created from present moments. There's no quick fix for me but I know if I take each present moment at a time, then I will keep my sanity. Sorry I haven't a magic answer to all of this but at least we know we are not alone in this and we understand each other even if others don't - that in itself is a great comfort to me. I wish you all well xxx

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Old 04-17-2012, 04:40 AM   #6
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Re: How do Women deal with the emotional aspects of menopause?

Oh my gosh it's like reading my own thoughts. It does help so much to realize other people are feeling the same things and I thank not only you but the other posters. Last night I began to think about my greatest worry which is my mom dying and leaving myself and my sister to take care of our elderly dad who needs help with literally everything. I am paralyzed by that fear and was thinking last night that I almost wish she were gone because then I could stop wondering when she's going to go and stop anticipating it. That's the craziest thought I've ever had especially since she's not sick or dying, it's all in my head. I feel the same about work as you do. It was better when I just did my job but now that we are social friends it's awful because I don't fit in with their happygolucky group. I often wonder if I should just announce to the world that I'm going through menopause because I feel like everyone must be wondering what is wrong with me but at the same time I know I don't really owe anyone an explanation. I've read that Estroven maximum strength can help with some of this but that it takes time. Since I just started it about a week ago I'm holding onto the hope that it will eventually make a difference. I've struggled with depression my entire life and after ten years of trying different things I had finally found what worked for me but it only lasted a short time until now so it's even harder for me to have to deal with being depressed again like before.

 
Old 04-17-2012, 06:23 PM   #7
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Re: How do Women deal with the emotional aspects of menopause?

Wow, what a powerful way to describe how to get through the challenges we are all facing. Not an accident that this was posted today as lately I've felt at the end of my rope. Thank you for showing me a new way to look at my current state of mind and to try to be in the moment and not look ahead to what is coming or back at what has passed.

 
Old 04-18-2012, 07:35 AM   #8
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Re: How do Women deal with the emotional aspects of menopause?

My heart really goes out to you. Have you considered antidepressants? They can be very successful in balancing emotions during menopause for some. I was in a very dark place and felt much like you did last year. I don't think on my usual happy self, but I'm more stable. The anti-anxiety meds probably help the most. If nothing else, please know you are not alone! *hugs*

 
Old 05-09-2012, 03:57 PM   #9
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Re: How do Women deal with the emotional aspects of menopause?

Wow is right..I can completely relate to this post. I'm almost 50..I've been in peri for years now it seems. I'm getting two periods a month..I have endo..I'm having relationship issues with everyone because I just feel so alone and crabby all the time. I work with women who are in their 30's who just do not have a clue. All one of them says is.."She's old..or He's old"...when seeing older people out and about. I hate that! I feel like this should be the time of my life..but I have elderly parents to care for and a strained family relationship. It's really an awful time..no matter how hard I try. I'm trying to find something to make it better...I just think HRT may be the next step for me..although I'm still afraid of it. I tried Premarin once and it gave me chest pains so I stopped. Should Estroven be the next step..I don't know.

It is nice to know there are others struggling...hope it gets better for all.

 
Old 05-10-2012, 05:49 PM   #10
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Re: How do Women deal with the emotional aspects of menopause?

I hear you. I am caring for my elderly parents too which makes it all even more stressful. But I am finding relief. I decided I was going to keep trying and keep searching because I'm only 51. This should be one of the best times of my life and I'm not giving up. So now in addition to my Zoloft and my nighttime Estroven, I'm also using Estroven Maximum Strength. It's really helping. I'm finding my blood pressure isn't cooperating but I've been fighting that my whole life so even if I do end up on bp meds, it would be worth it to be feeling so much better. Thank you everyone for your kind words and encouragement. It does help to know I'm not alone. And one day, those 30 somethings will be grateful to us because we will have come out on the other side happier and still healthy and offer words of encouragement to them.

 
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