I'm 50, vegan (since 1999) and so far have had very few symtoms from menopause. A year ago I had mild night sweats for a few weeks and I did have terrible insomnia from ages 46 - 49, but I was going through quite a bit of emotional stuff, so I'm not sure I can blame it all on menopause.
I do eat a lot of soy. I love tofu.
Have you ever considered going vegetarian/vegan? It might help.
For sleep, melatonin was what saved me. I still take it once or twice a week.