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Old 12-29-2012, 04:42 PM   #1
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Profound transformation

When this all started back in July, I never would have guessed what a crazy, life-changing journey this would be. At that time, my doctor told me I would go into menopause very soon if I didn't go on HRT right away. What?! I was only 41! I was shocked.

Since then, I have felt confused, angry, frustrated, sad, depressed, anxious, scared, and self-pity. I thought this was the beginning of the end. I thought, "My life is over." It's all downhill from here. Everything will just decrease and diminish until I die. The best years of my life is over. What's the point of going on? But I had no choice but to keep going on. And I figured I would try to be a positive as I could.

August and September were really a struggle. I had all sorts of symptoms: fatigue, dizziness, nausea, heart palpitations, anxiety... Some days were hell. October and November things gradually started to get better. The horrible mornings were gone and I wasn't totally exhausted all the time. By December, I was starting to feel like myself again. Most days, I had some energy and motivation. I was so happy and relieved.

Now that my body was feeling more stable, I could pay attention to what what going on in my mind and soul. I realized lots of stuff was coming up; unresolved issues from my childhood and my 20's. Things I hadn't thought about for years. I started writing in a journal and writing down my dreams.

I still felt kind of sad about the person I was leaving behind but I now felt excited about the woman I was becoming. I felt some acceptance, some peace. I can now see myself as a butterfly emerging from its cocoon.

It's not the end after all, but the beginning of a whole new chapter in my life! This is really an opportunity--without old baggage holding me back, I can reach my fullest potential. I need to embrace this spiritual awakening. The dream I had last night told me loud and clear that the most important thing is just WAKE UP and live fully present in the now.

I truly hope that you, too, can wake up to the wonderful unfolding that is happening to you. Remember that underneath all of those symptoms, there is a woman who will spread her glorious wings and fly again.

Be peaceful and be well.

 
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Old 12-29-2012, 05:09 PM   #2
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Re: Profound transformation

Beautifully written, and very inspirational! Thank you Dreamcatcher11!

 
Old 12-30-2012, 05:38 AM   #3
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Re: Profound transformation

Did you go on HRT? If not, what did you do to feel better?


Thank you for a lovely and uplifting post. x

 
Old 01-06-2013, 11:06 AM   #4
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Re: Profound transformation

Very well said. I'm trying to look at this time differently now. Before I was just complaining and dreading..I did hear a female doctor on television remind women that this is a transition period. It's not the end..it's not the way you will always feel. It's a phase. I remember pubery and how difficult that was..even worse because of the lack of coping skills I had...now I at least know things that I didn't then. Everyone will age and everyone will experience loss of something..it's how we move on with it that matters.

 
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