Books on adult survivors of childhood rape? - Mental Health Message Board

brooklyn99 · 03-02-2004, 12:15 PM

I was wondering if anyone could recommend some books that could give advice to someone who, in their middle age is just comming to grips with a sexual assault that happened at age 12 by a friend. They seem to be dealing with the assult as if it just happened - suddenly turned off by any touch or physical contact, esp with partner...it is really effecting my friend's marriage and I would like to find some books/web pages, ect that would help her specific case...
Thanks!

Midnite · 03-04-2004, 10:30 PM

Hello Brooklyn,

I have found the following book to be very helpful: Trust After Trauma, A Guide to Relationships for Survivors and Those Who Love Them, by Aphrodite Matsakis, Ph.D. For me, it's been a godsend. This same author has written I Can't Get Over It. Dr. Matsakis does mention that Trust After Trauma is not for anyone who has not confronted their past. She states that it is for survivors who have already completed some work in understanding their trauma either in therapy or a recovery program.

If your friend doesn't have the assistance of a therapist, and if it's possible in her situation, finding a good therapist who works with PTSD and sexual assault is a good option. I wish your friend comfort as she embarks on her journey to healing, and having a caring friend as yourself is a huge help.

Take good care,
Midnite

Quote:

Originally Posted by brooklyn99

I was wondering if anyone could recommend some books that could give advice to someone who, in their middle age is just comming to grips with a sexual assault that happened at age 12 by a friend. They seem to be dealing with the assult as if it just happened - suddenly turned off by any touch or physical contact, esp with partner...it is really effecting my friend's marriage and I would like to find some books/web pages, ect that would help her specific case...
Thanks!

js2001sa · 04-28-2004, 01:00 AM

I have heard of a book called Wounded Boys/Heroic Men I cannot remember the author. The book deals with child abuse Physical and Sexual. I beleive it deals with the sexual abuse being perpetrated by both sexes. This will certainly help if your friend is a man.

Karla · 04-28-2004, 03:44 PM

I was sexually molested as a young child and raped twice. Once as a teenager and once as an adult. I went through what your friend is going through as I started to remember things I had blocked out for many years. I can not stress how important it is to have a councelor to see and when the time is right to go into group therapy. It took me a couple of years of counceling but I was finally restored and made whole again. I also had some marrital counceling to help my husband understand what I was going through. Your friend is lucky to have you.

way2cute2lie2u · 05-12-2004, 05:20 PM

im kinda of going through the same thing right now, but it just finally hit me today that i was affected badly, i was 13 and he was 18 going on 19, but it wasn't rape it was stagatory rape, but in ny you have to be 17 for both parties for it to be consential, anyways he had sex me, and made me walk home, and stopped talking to me, this being my boyfriend of 2 yrs, my parents found out and had him arrested and i was devasted, i went mad and i was hurt, and the next person who came around i just gave everything to them, and then would cheat on me but i didn't wanna be alone so i stayed, and they would leave me, and then i'd get into another relationship just like that, etc. Now im with a guy i've been with for 11 months, and all of a sudden-i don't trust him, i get mad at him, and i don't know what to do! and i don't think he even cheats on me, but now all of a sudden my trust issues are not there, and i break my promises to him, and i treat him badly-i do try, but with the stagatory rape thing, i started a eating disorder, which i still try to maintain, and im depressed and im taking efferox, and im only 17, and i've been on zoloft since i was 15....just alot of problems..and i don't know why they are re-occuring now after so long....i wish i could understand!