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-   -   The wrong person to talk to? (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/mental-health/164570-wrong-person-talk.html)

Dark Stranger 04-10-2004 11:12 PM

The wrong person to talk to?
 
I have a very bad habit...of talking to myself. But I feel as if I am the only person that I can share my secrets with and who will listen and not mock me. If I have to get something off my chest, I mutter it to myself in a low whisper when I am alone and I usually feel better.

If any of my three wonderful cats are about then I may talk to them as well. But it's usually just me.

I know this isn't normal, and please no one tell me to find someone I trust to tell these things to or so seek therapy, because I refuse to do either. No one knows I do this, and I don't intend on making it known any time soon. Is there a way I can counter this habit?


Dark Stranger

lucyvanpelt3 04-11-2004 11:34 AM

Re: The wrong person to talk to?
 
You pose a situation here worthy of a paradigm shift.

Question - Are you thinking out loud, or really talking to and answering yourself?

Most observers can't tell the difference, so, sooner or later, someone's going to accuse you of "talking to yourself."

It would be better to head that off now.

Do you talk to any family members? How are your conversational skills? Do you participate in team sports or hobbies or clubs?

I think you have a lot on your mind that you are unsure of and too apprehensive to "check it out."


Checking it out means trusting someone to listen to you, and I don't mean the pets, little one.

The best thing about a couselor is that they are ANONYMOUS and don't know you from Adam or Aaron. They can only comment on what you tell them - also, they have usually seen hundreds of other people! Who better to comment on how "different" you are?

Get a female. When you are hurting, a female picks up on that better. No offense to male counselors, but females are usually better listeners too.

Going it "alone" in life will get you nowhere, but scared :eek: , but fast.

Best wishes to you.

Foxbluff 04-11-2004 01:02 PM

Re: The wrong person to talk to?
 
DarkStranger, I never met a person that owns pets that didn't talk to them! Nothing wrong w/that. I, also, don't know any people who spend alot of time alone that don't talk to themselves. I don't think there's anything wrong w/that either. There's a very old joke that says "It's ok to talk to yourself, as long as you don't answer yourself." Well, just to make myself smile, I sometimes answer myself, too!

I think you're perfectly normal. I'm a little confused though as to why you picked such a depressing sounding name?

Dark Stranger 04-11-2004 08:16 PM

Re: The wrong person to talk to?
 
[QUOTE=lucyvanpelt3]You pose a situation here worthy of a paradigm shift.

Question - Are you thinking out loud, or really talking to and answering yourself?

Do you talk to any family members? How are your conversational skills? Do you participate in team sports or hobbies or clubs?

I think you have a lot on your mind that you are unsure of and too apprehensive to "check it out."[/QUOTE]

Yes, I do think out loud, but not loudly :D I keep it to a mere whisper, and it isn't out in public or school...it's when I am alone, in my room, before I go to sleep, etc. Nor do I answer myself; I just talk in general. I am not a conversationalist, nor do I enjoy conversations with random people or people I don't know very well because I have a tendancy to stumble over my words sometimes. I'm not in any sports or clubs, or any extra-curricular stuff for that matter. My hobby is drawing and writing; while I am good with words in print, I'm not good with them in voice.

One main reason why I entrust no one with my secrets is that I know they will say "ohhh, I know how you feel...", when they really don't - they just say that to make it better, but it doesn't work. If I'm depressed and I tell my cats what's wrong, I swear, it's the most reassuring and comforting feeling in the world to get a warm nuzzle from them in return...animals can sense your sorrow and they offer what they can to heal you.


Dark Stranger

antares_wish 04-11-2004 11:02 PM

Re: The wrong person to talk to?
 
[QUOTE]I know this isn't normal, and please no one tell me to find someone I trust to tell these things to or so seek therapy, because I refuse to do either.[/QUOTE]
Actually talking to yourself IS normal. It's not something that most people do but there is nothing wrong with it. Talking to oneself is fairly common among intelligent and / or shy people. I don't think you need therapy about that but it does sound like you have some issues with trust and self confidence that you need to address, I don't necessarily think that you need to see a conselor about those issues but I think they should be something that you work on. One thing that I seem to be posting a lot lately as a suggestion is to get involved with a local service project. They're seriously about the best thing that you can do to build self esteem, confidence and social skills. It's hard not to feel good about yourself when you're doing something selfless for someone else. It helps you to build confidence as you see your efforts having an effect on others. It helps your social skills as you work together as a team to accomplish a goal, there is an almost instant comradery among those involved in service together. The proverbial ice is already broken and you don't have to try as hard to start up a conversation with anyone as you already have something in common to discuss.

Dark Stranger 04-13-2004 01:13 AM

Re: The wrong person to talk to?
 
[QUOTE=antares_wish]Actually talking to yourself IS normal. It's not something that most people do but there is nothing wrong with it. Talking to oneself is fairly common among intelligent and / or shy people. I don't think you need therapy about that but it does sound like you have some issues with trust and self confidence that you need to address, I don't necessarily think that you need to see a conselor about those issues but I think they should be something that you work on.[/QUOTE]

I can very confidently say that I have no self-confidence :D and yes I know I have some serious trust issues as well. Trust is one I'm working on, but self-confidence is a whole other ball park. I can't remember the last time in my life I was ever proud of anything I did, not even my artwork or my writing. I just feel I don't deserve any credit or congratulations for anything. As for getting involved, well, I don't usually because I know I'll end up screwing things up, no matter what those things are.

But thanks for the help, antares_wish.


Dark Stranger


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