Advise about my grown stepdaughter - Mental Health Message Board

skylan · 06-19-2004, 06:39 AM

My SD is 32 and since I've been married to her father for 11 years, she has never talked much unless she had a drink, and then only a little. She has never started a conversation, and rarely ever adds to one.
I feel so uncomfortable around her, and my husband just ignores it.
She is very selfish and self centered. I have tried to form some kind of relationship with her, but nothing works.Her husband talks to us when we're visiting, but has made many remarks to us about how lonely he is that she doesn't talk much to him either.
She had her tubes tied so she couldn't become pregnant, the reason was she said she didn't want some kid keeping her tied down , that if she wanted to go somewhere all she had to do was go.
I have made her many birthday cakes and she never says thank you. Her husband will invite the family over for her birthday and she will take the cake I have made and put it out of sight so she doesn't have to share it.this year they had homemade icecream so I thought the cake would be great with it.
She has made many remarks to our hairdresser about how everyone will talk to her husband but not her. I have told her she needs to respond to a conversation if she expects anyone to talk to her, but it doesn't do any good. She says she does talk. When we go over she never lets on like we are there. All she does is sit real close to her husband and watches TV.
She never calls to check on her dad, even though he has many health problems.
Does anyone have any ideas how to handle this situation?

hummingbirdkiss · 06-19-2004, 12:46 PM

message deleted

ILikeRats · 06-20-2004, 02:24 AM

Social Anxiety Disorder does sound like it could be it. The other possibilty that came to my mind is Asperger's Syndrome.

member86 · 07-01-2004, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ILikeRats

Social Anxiety Disorder does sound like it could be it. The other possibilty that came to my mind is Asperger's Syndrome.

That is definitely worth looking into. I have a friend that acts very similar to your stepdaughter and oftentimes people will find her incredibly rude and anti-social. I have known her for so long, I know she is not aware of how she acts at times and we've spoke about it alot. A psychologist friend of mine said that it looks like my friend might have Asperger's. I have confronted her about it, she's not sure what to do about it. She has guy problems because men are always saying she's not expressive enough or doesn't talk enough. And granted, she is a beautiful girl.

The only thing I have been able to do with my friend is accept that I cannot change her (and I don't want to) any changing would be up to her. I love her for the way she is. I pray someday she will find a companion who will do the same.

With your stepdaughter, she may want to change her behavior or may not. It's very hard to bond with people like this. My step mom is kinda the same way. It's sad b/c u feel you're missing out on a lot with them.