do I have a possessive bf please help - Mental Health Message Board

Curly Q 18 · 01-18-2005, 09:09 PM

First off I want to say I love my boyfriend very much, but he is extremely dependent. We were having a long distance relationship but this year he got to come to college with me so now we practically live together. The thing is he gets very upset if I am not with him during my breaks and says that he came out to college for me. So in a way I am glad i had him come out here so he could get an education and I do want him out here with me. The problem is I want time to go out with my other friends too. Is this unreasonable? I mean I dont want to make him out as a bad person cause he does genuinely love me and he has had his share of problems. I guess what I want to know how to make him not so depend so I can go out with my friends without him getting upset. If anyone out there has this problem and could give me a few suggestions. I would really appreciate it.

edgexofxsanity · 01-19-2005, 04:10 AM

hi, this sounds like he's more compulsive, than anything. i can see that you like/love your boyfriend very much, and hes willing to be with you, but if he gets to a point where hes CONSTANTLY dependent on you, is using you, not giving you room, then this guy isn't right for you, you just have to face that. dont give chances to guys, if they are going to be compulsive around you, and is always in your face smothering you, and he may say he will change, but in the long run, this will come back to you. try talking to him about it, if he blows it out of proportion, then hes not the right man for you. if he listens to you, and says he will TRY to change, then give it some time, see how he deals with it. study him.

Curly Q 18 · 01-19-2005, 08:31 AM

Thank you so much for the reply I really appreciate it now I just have to go find out what compulsive means. lol

veggie girl · 01-20-2005, 02:36 PM

Maybe give him a little time to make some friends. Encourage him to meet people or to join clubs.