lovelikeheroine

We're a young couple, 21, and we live together. We've been dating for almost a year and have been living together for about the same time. We're having problems though..

I have severe anxiety and S.A.D. I work out, do diet/nutrition, and take medication for it. Right now I have 4 jobs going on (I'm a freelancer) and I go to school full time (when I am able). He works 8 hour days 5 to 6 days a week depending, and his family has a history of anxiety, schizophrenia and depression, although he's never been diagnosed. He was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder as a kid.

I generally have a problem with him because I will have anxiety/get upset over something and he will seem to have a lacksidasical approach about it, or say something wrong. This is not always - sometimes he's very helpful and supportive - but when we fight its a bad fight. For instance our most recent, and worst, fight was when I stepped on the scale and for some reason I weighted 10 pounds more then I did the night before. Since I have been dieting for 3 months this was completely devastating to me, not to mention frustrating and confusing, so I went to him for comfort. He was playing his video game, seemed distracted by me but not really listening to me as I talked, so I left and went to my room in tears. He came in and I tried to talk to him again, and he said something along the lines of - "This is my day off, why do you have to ruin it by being sad/depressed? You're always sad.." This of course devastated me, because I don't have a choice about how I feel, and he's known about my depression/anxiety for the entire time we have been dating, and even before. I only want a hug and for him to reaffirm that I was beautiful. Now I have finally convinced him to see a doctor, but he is unsure of how we stand. He's talking about possibly not being with me, but he gets upset if I mention it would be too painful to live with him anymore. We're trying to find an answer to whether or not this is me, or if he really has something wrong mentally. He generally spends 4 - 13 hours on his video games when he comes home from work, we get into fights about that a lot, he doesn't seem to want sex with me very often, and his main idea today was that he "wanted to be alone, away from everyone, didn't want anyone near him because he would just hurt them."

This is the point of view of the boyfriend. Yes, I know that I most likely am clinically depressed, with or without an anxiety disorder(most likely with). Also, I may even have schizophrenic tendencies. These are not things I'm in contention with, hence me agreeing to see a Doctor. The problem is, that I don't know if its a good idea that she and I remain together when we have such aggravated issues. Often, when she has problems, I don't have the mental capabilities to help her. I end up frustrated and confused, and often make her problems worse.
Its not a matter of whether or not I love her. I do, and she knows this. Its a matter of whether or not we should be together. I feel that when we are together, I get no time to myself, almost like a nurse on duty should she have an attack. Home is work, work is work. And with no time to relax, I often find myself losing all patience with little things, and end up blowing up at people who don't deserve it, like her. She deserves better than this.
Another problem, is that we live together. Neither one of us are in the financial posistion to just get up and move should we have to. Living arrangements are a difficult proposition in our town, and rent is steep, especially for single apartments. By living together, things are comfortable, and we are best friends regardless of our relationship. But obvious problems can arise by one of us moving on while the other has not. Advice is welcome.


To me (the girlfriend) this seems like my boyfriend is already trying to move on, whether or not he has mental problems. Any advice or insight into this situation (with his mental health) is greatly appreciated.