What's wrong with me? - Mental Health Message Board

crook123 · 07-26-2005, 03:22 AM

I've got 3 things to mention, I dont know if they're all connected or not. I think 2 and 3 maybe however.

Firstly, last year I had Colitis for which I successfully recovered through medication of steroids, which later were taken over by Imuran, of which I now take 2 pills a day. I experience no more symptoms of the Colitis anymore.

Secondly, a while back in one of my school classes I first experience what I believe was some sort of panic attack. Concentrating on my breathing, feeling I'm about to lose control etc. This continued but only in these specific lessons, I usually just went through it but sometimes I told the teacher if I could leave. Then when I did my exams recently I experienced the same things, and many times I said I was too ill and was allowed to do them on my own. These symptoms then seemed to slowly creep in to other things I did, like when I had to drive long distances on trips and holidays most recently. I frequently needed to stop, because of going through these sort of panic attacks?

Symptoms I more noticed were they occured in places where escape may be hard (e.g. the motorway). I panic because my mind strays thinking about what may happen I suddenly lose control etc. I also get the feeling I will wee or something without being able to stop it.

Thirdly now, at home I keep thinking about death and worrying about my death and my mothers. How I will cope etc. I find my mind can't rationally come to terms with it, even though i know its useless to keep worrying. But as I do it makes me feel sick and my stomach churns and my thoughts turn to bad things happening to me right now. I keep feeling down now because of this, because I can't get on without keeping having these thoughts on my mind.

I need some advice, what shall I do? Do I have a mental illness or something?

GatsbyLuvr1920 · 07-26-2005, 05:40 AM

It sounds like panic disorder. The thoughts about death could be possible OCD. Maybe you can elaborate more on the intrusive thoughts so I can better diagnose? Good luck and God bless!

-GatsbyLuvr1920-

crook123 · 07-26-2005, 06:14 AM

Well in situations where I have now identified that my problem is the uneasiness of escape. The thoughts turn to myself feeling as if i am going to faint, or my stomach is going to explode. Or I'm going to throw up or become short of breathe and suffocate. Just totally lose control or something.

On death whenever I think about it, I'm thinking how meaningless life is and just being afraid of my death and of close ones around me. Them not being their also, dieing alone.

That has been building up I think but over the past 2 days its been very disturbing.

GatsbyLuvr1920 · 07-26-2005, 06:32 AM

It definitely sounds like panic disorder- the fact that you're worrying about escape, losing control, and possibly throwing up in public are all common symptoms. I don't have panic disorder, but I do get frequent panic attacks that match your symptoms. The death thing sounds like panic disorder, too. You didn't mention being afraid that you would kill one of your loved ones by not being careful enough, or that you see images of yourself killing your loved ones, which would be OCD. Instead, it sounds more like you're afraid of dying during the panic attack and not having anyone around to help you. Is this because, when you get these symptoms, it feels as though you're having a heart attack and going to die? Very common reaction to the "fight-or-flight" response in panic disorder.
-GatsbyLuvr1920-

crook123 · 07-26-2005, 06:52 AM

Thanks for your comments.

I think I came to realise quite quickly that nothing will happen in these panic attacks, upon reflection. I know its mental but when they happen I always get the feeling of 'what if?'. I don't even know if they're that severe of a panic attack, because its after I feel like a made to big a deal of things. Yet when I'm in those situations I just have to get out.

I think I'm able to predict where I may have one now, because of the recurring situations, and I think its this thought process which just causes me to have it anyway due to the worry. It's nervousness and anxiousness and stuff.

So I've basically cut down things I do, I'm on holiday now, but I began missing the classes they were occuring in, and I now will not go on any long journeys anywhere, especially not involving motorways, with or without people.

Do I need to see a doctor, are their things I can do?