hey dreamer!!
I think you're on the right track though, understanding and recognizing that your baggage is hindering you from your happiness. I too, am struggling with my baggage, letting my demons ruin my search for happiness. I don't really have an answer for u, but I do know what you're going through. I tell myself "never again", but the same thing always happens. My therapist tells me to RECOGNIZE, RETHINK, RETRAIN and REPLACE those thoughts. It's a real chore though...I'll just be a recluse for now

Perhaps you should go to the relationship health section and see what those guys think. good luck