Cannabis death from brain damage but still living - Mental Health Message Board

braindamaged · 09-13-2005, 01:04 PM

Cannabis death from brain damage but still living

I smoked the skunk form of cannabis heavily daily for a few years and now my brain has completely turned to mush and the mental illness I suffer is intolerable. Every day is living torture and every day I wish I was dead, I can not concentrate my, memory feels non existent, I can not interact with people, intense anxiety/fear to the extent it can feel painful, social phobia, paranoia, traumatized by horrific thoughts, severe depression, suicidal urges, I could go on and on, lets just say life really is not worth living any more. When Tony Blair down graded cannabis to class C it encouraged me it was relatively safe. Now I wish he would reclassify skunk to class A as I feel it should be, cannabis is not what it used to be, skunk is at least ten times stronger, it is just too strong. I have learnt from experience the hard way and now my life is over, yet unfortunately I am still alive, I am only 26. I feel I have gone totally mad, my personality has been completely burnt away, I am like a vegetable with slurred speech, my brain is burnt out and totally damaged. I stopped a long time ago and have not recovered. Life used to be ok. Thanks to skunk it is now torture and I wish I was no more. Like I say cannabis death from brain damage but still living.

This is not political its just my experience, I don't know if it is due to my genetic make up, maybe some predisposition for this to happen which skunk has just triggered or what. If you don't believe me fine at least I have tried to warn others from what I have learnt the hard way. Read information from mental health charities on the subject which I have since and you will find some people skunk can cause them to lose their mind. I am not saying it will happen I am just saying you are rolling the dice like I did with your sanity, this **** is not 100% safe you could be the one in so many like me. Believe me madness is more freighting than you could ever imagine its like a bad trip all the time. I hope I get the balls to take my own life some time soon.

Thats why I say.

Cannabis death from brain damage but still living.

Daphnee · 09-13-2005, 01:56 PM

You live and learn, at least now that you've stopped and you can start over with your life. Do not end your life over dope smoking, as you're still alive because you know you are better than smoking pot and getting high all day. You'll live.

I smoked back in the day, but as I grew up I got high on something else called life. Be strong it will control you if you let it.

KStorts · 09-14-2005, 02:40 AM

Based on your post I would say that you are doing better than some of the 'pot-heads' I know. You can formulate an articulate essay. Maybe you are not giving yourself enough credit, or are giving the weed too much credit. Perhaps you suffer from a low self esteem and the former drug use is yet another way you continued to beat yourself up...just a thought. Maybe you can look into some other natural herbs, healthy ones this time, that can help you improve your memory and mental stamina.

stay2gether · 09-14-2005, 05:25 AM

i kind of feel the same, only i along with doing canabis for a few years have also done extasy, speed, and ocasionly ket and lsd for the last 8 years. i have stopped everything now but suffer badly with depression and get suicidle. im on antidepressents which really do help alot, you shud get some.

when we stop taking drugs we are forced back into reality which can be very scary place, esp as we have been living in another world for so long!
its kind of like being born again, only this time into an adult world where things move so fast, so we have to take things slowely and begin to learn all over again. it will take time and patience but eventually well get there.

are you getting any help, im seeing a counciller and it really does help alot.
i have very low confience and self esteem and also too suffer from social phobia, i feel like iv just wasted the last 8 years, im 23 now. but at least we have stopped and are doing something about it, you have to give yourself credit for that!!!!

if you need any help or when your feeling feeling really low just post me and i will try to help you as much as i can

feelbad · 09-14-2005, 08:15 AM

just a thought here but you could possibly be dealing with some sort of underlying brain issues totally unrelated to your drug use.Have you actually seen a doc about your symptoms?if not, I really think you need to have all of your symptoms totally evaluated as for what they are and not based on past drug use i really would see a neurologist but not divulge the past drug use until you actually get somewhere with him first.If you reveal this right away before anything has been teated or evaluated I can almost guarnetee you that he will no longer be able to treat your issues objectively.Do you know what I mean?I normally do not recommend anyone to withold important info from their docs but in your particular case, i don't really see any other way for you to have all of your symptoms really looked at for what they are.i would mention 'some' past cannabis use just as an occasional use and not the full blown use that you really did.Not until you can see that this doc is really trying to find the answers to your symptoms in an unbiased way.your currnet problems really could be stemming from something going on inside your brain as opposed to just the past drug use.a full neuro eval and work up would be really a good place to start.good luck and please keep us posted.don't give up hope that you will feel normal again some day.FB