melville

Well there's a cheery thread title for you! I've been a worrier/depressed guy for most of my 31 years but lately its gotten worse. Its gotten to the point where I wish I could fall asleep and not wake up. The only time I'm happy is when I'm unconscious and I'm starting to not understand the point of getting up every day to do stuff I don't want to do. What's the point of working a job so you can pay bills and pay rent so you can continue to work a job to pay bills and pay rent..etc. I went to my friends wedding this weekend and it was great, I was really happy for them. But it took me down too. All of my friends are either married or engaged now and I don't even have a girlfriend and haven't for 6 years. Watching them get married it just seems like such a faraway thing for me to achieve. I'm a shy, depressed person so I understand why few people are attracted to me. I don't know, I'm rambling. I just want to be happy, why is it so difficult?