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Old 10-26-2005, 04:29 PM   #1
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Is there something wrong with me?

Brief history of my life. I was a withdrawn lonely male child growing up. My parents were christians who had traditional famiy values and were a little strict as I grew up. My parents were considered to be in the upper middle class and we lived a comfortable home life.

As I grew, it was hard for me to make friends; And it became harder as I grew up - making/keeping friends became almost impossible as I reached the end of my high school year and it still is as I am now college freshman. In high school, I was usually teased by a certain someone(a girl) for my nerdish interests and my eccentric manner. Couple that with a lack of friends and high school was my own personal hell.

Now back to childhood. Back in 6th grade I was identified as a gifted child which supposedly explained all my deviant behavior in the years before(getting bored in class, always having my "head in the clouds", causing trouble with the teacher and things like that). In this gifted class, I was silent as I was a withdrawn child.

Anyhow, I was in the program for just that year. The next 6 years of my life included transitioning from school to school about 5 different times and I was forced to attend a regular public school, and being unaware of my options(until the last year of high school), I took classes that were.. inadequate and didn't fit my ability to learn(I was independantly learning calculus and phsyics in 8th grade). Yeah - so I lagged behind. My grades weren't all that excellent as I was, for the most part, bored out of my mind and had little motivation to complete repititious and completely un-needed homework assignments.

Now at the university level, the classes are a little bit more in depth than high school classes.. however, I believe I still am capable of much more than what I am currently doing. I've been skipping classes on and off, more off than on, since I already know most of the material and class instruction is boring and it can be easily learned from the book. So yepp... that's been it.

But the thing now that is worrying me is these things:

I'm now almost completely unable to carry on a conversation with someone.. at all. I never truly had the capability before, but if I did, it seems now nearly more impossible than it ever was before in the past. I think I've identified the source of these conversational problems, but not totally sure: Scattered thinking - Illogical conclusions and being "irrational" - and if not that - just working at a far more abstract level that anyone one of my peers is able to understand. But I don't think that so, as from what I've read and have concluded: my level of abstraction is at a level that at least 1/3-1/4 of the school population should be able to understand.

I am failing English 101: According to my teacher's observations(We had a mini-conference today after my apparent failure to follow given directions in class)....

I smirk at things that people say that aren't readily obvious as to why I smirk at them(And I don't even remember smirking at anyone's comments )

I seem to check out of class as soon as it begans and am seemingly unaware of what's going on for the whole class period. SOMETIMES, i come after class to ask about things I don't understand; however, there are things that I truly don't understand that other people seem to get right away.

And according to him: After-class, it's like everything discussed in class is like absolutely brand new to me - as if I wasn't there!

And the funny thing is, is that I don't "check out" as he says.. or not purposely. For the most part, I try to follow what's being said in class and try to understand, however I get lost way toooooooooooooo easily... and then.. ugggggg.... my mind goes like this - *blank* -.


So it's like I'm stupid... .... stupid stupid stupid(it definitely seems I am with relationships and conversation)... and then according to the SAT's(1400) and other academic measures, I'm far beyond my years and I apparently have the intelligence to be able to do.. almost anything.

So with this blaring obvious contradiction, this is where I ask: What's wrong with me?

 
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Old 10-26-2005, 04:31 PM   #2
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Re: Is there something wrong with me?

Took about 30-60 minutes to write.

 
Old 10-26-2005, 04:59 PM   #3
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Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
Re: Is there something wrong with me?

I have a cousin-in-law who is a genius. He has top level government clearance, etc.
He thinks in such abstract terms that is is almost impossible to track a conversation with him. He is lightning years ahead of the rest of us and having a conversation with him is almost like listening to two people having a conversation who are speaking different languages.
That said, I like him. I admire him. But I tend to listen more because with my lowly IQ of 121 he has me totally beat!!

My suggestion is that you seek out other highly intelligent people. Mensa has a website if you can show you qualify that might give you some social outlet. There may be some ultra tough classes that you can take next semester that will challenge you AND give you classmates who can keep up with you...

Also, keep in mind that the world will get alot more friendly once you've graduated.
Also, there are people who LIKE eccentric people - you'll meet them I'm sure!!

 
Old 10-26-2005, 07:43 PM   #4
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Wink Re: Is there something wrong with me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth6:11
I have a cousin-in-law who is a genius. He has top level government clearance, etc.
He thinks in such abstract terms that is is almost impossible to track a conversation with him. He is lightning years ahead of the rest of us and having a conversation with him is almost like listening to two people having a conversation who are speaking different languages.
That said, I like him. I admire him. But I tend to listen more because with my lowly IQ of 121 he has me totally beat!!

My suggestion is that you seek out other highly intelligent people. Mensa has a website if you can show you qualify that might give you some social outlet. There may be some ultra tough classes that you can take next semester that will challenge you AND give you classmates who can keep up with you...

Also, keep in mind that the world will get alot more friendly once you've graduated.
Also, there are people who LIKE eccentric people - you'll meet them I'm sure!!

But frankly, I'm not that intelligent to the point of being considered a genius. I'm at a level of intelligence where I should be able to converse with at least 1/3(screw what I last put the figure as) the people on campus, as I'm only in the 125-130 IQ range.

But it seems I have a hard ability talking to ANYONE(which I should be able to talk with everyone..).. so my problem cannot be explained by "intelligence" alone(If it is at all a possible explanation), but more by other things. And I want to find what those probs are.

*sigh*

And I'll look into mensa, ruth. Thanks for the suggestion!

 
Old 10-27-2005, 07:53 PM   #5
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Re: Is there something wrong with me?

you should look into the clubs and societies at your school. first year can be hard if you, ya know, don't fit the mold so to speak.
There might be something like a toastmasters club, sure it's more for public speaking skills, but you might find it helpful all the same. you might enjoy joining an accedemic society like an art club, physics club. Whatever your into. Universities are such diverse places you can pretty much find any kind of person you want ^_^
That might help you as far as your social life goes, I have to admit that i have the exact opposite problem: I overrationalize everything *lol* but like I said, there are all kinds of people at universities, even if it doesn't seem that way at first.

As far as focussing on studies goes, maybe try your univeristy's personal councelling center? Maybe your program isn't right for you. What are you taking anyway?

Best of luck!

 
Old 10-28-2005, 11:58 AM   #6
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Re: Is there something wrong with me?

Social anxiety can be a huge problem. Try practicing socializing in group situations, a club, try toast masters, practice and don't be hard on yourself if it doesn't go well, it's just a learning experience. Also if you have racing thoughts that make you "check out of class" be tested for adult add. If add is possible try a book Delivered from distraction.

 
Old 10-31-2005, 07:48 PM   #7
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Re: Is there something wrong with me?

You sound very much like me, while i'm smarter than most people I interact with, i'm not too adept in conversation; i've always wrote better than I spoke. I'm also in college, and I feel that I don't fit in, more so than I probably should. I "space out" in classes that are a bore, but am doing great now that I only have classes that are interesting to ME. I also have learned a little discipline when it comes to the classwork, I figure it's gotta be done, and might as well get as much out of it as possible, try to find something within each class that you can enjoy, or find a bit interesting. Earplugs help me with my studying sometimes too , damn roommates with their fancy televisions .

Just know that there are others out there much like you, it's a bit o' comfort. You also might consider seeing a therapist if possible, they're pretty smart- especially the PhD sort.

Good luck!

 
Old 11-08-2005, 03:37 PM   #8
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curiouskittie HB User
Re: Is there something wrong with me?

Hello everyone. Thank you for all the replies, I must say I'm sincerely appreciative of them. Lately, everything has been going like this...... blah... after realizing that I wasn't prepared for some of the classes(didn't have the nessecary background), I have stopped attending them(which will nessecarily result in the flunking of the class by default). Most of the other classes I have stopped attending... just cuz... just cuz... just cuz... I have no idea why. Apathy, I guess you could calll it? Languished in bed, lazing around, and watching movies seems to have become the order of the day. All social contact cut, or most of it(outside of the nessecary P's and Q's in public), it has become exceptionally hard to mantain contact of any kind. Oh well. It seems I'm following in the footsteps of a japanese minority, a societal phenemonae. After a while... things just start to go downhill and practically all social skills are lost, and conversation becomes impossible(it's not like that's much change though.. hahaha).

And yah... That's been it. Have a great day.

 
Old 11-08-2005, 04:50 PM   #9
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Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
Re: Is there something wrong with me?

You actually sound pretty depressed to me in this last post... do you think that that might be why you are feeling the way you do?

 
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