how to convince parents to let me get psycological help - Mental Health Message Board

brokentears · 05-13-2006, 07:59 PM

for years now i know i've needed help, but i havent know how to get it. my parents think of anything such as psychologist/thearpest as 'shameful', but i view it as my only hope for happyness.(at least im hopeing, i HATE takeing any form of med) my parents relize i have problems, but i guess they just cant swollow thier pride and accept the fact that they have a 'defective' daughter. any sugestions on how to get past this?
or dose anyone at least know of any good self help/diagnosis sights?

galinaqt · 05-13-2006, 08:27 PM

Therapists may not be what you expect. You can have one more person who shout at you, disrespectful, talks about things easy and interesting to him/her. I was a paying adult when I face it 2 times. I could just dump him/her no questions asked. Will be much harder in your case. May be you will have to change 10 before you find one you are comfi with and you are having "non-suppotive parents". Best of all if you can share with good friend or there is family member you like and respect.

brokentears · 05-13-2006, 08:54 PM

i didnt know that thearpist were like that. i need someone who can draw me out. i try talking to my friends but i cant seem to express myself well.i just get angry at them because thire supposta be my friend and they dont understand me 100%. then agian id probly get that way with a profesional too.i guess im just treally lost at this point but im open to all sugestions

galinaqt · 05-14-2006, 01:09 PM

You will have even less understanding and desire to hear you with paid professional rather than friend or relative. May be try support group. Some people go to alanon meetings even though they don't have alcohol problems but there is a lot of good stuff and people are nice and at least not gonna hurt your feelings.
BYW second specialist I tried started pushing me to take meds without listening to me much and was very mad when I refused but brought same issue to discuss.

KStorts · 05-14-2006, 02:29 PM

I respectively disagree with galinaqt in some areas.

Professionals have tha advantage of being objective with their patients, it is hard, even impossible sometimes for friends/family to do this because they do know you.

If you really want help, and aren't afraid to hear things you may not want to hear, then a professional could be a very very good thing. Counseling is not all fun at all. It is hard work. They are not their to be your friend. They can care about their patients of course, and there are plenty bad ones out there. I got lucky with my first counselor. She was amazing. Did I always hear what I wanted to? Nope. She pointed out observations she saw in me- and sometimes it was hard to hear because I had my own percepions of myself. But I wasn't there to have someone confirm my thoughts on myself because I knew I needed work in some areas and I was obviously missing something otherwise I would have been able to fix it on my own.

I went to another counselor after moving to a new area, and while he wasn't professional at all, I did learn somethings from him. I stopped going to him because I didn't think he was a very good counselor, but it is as simple as that. If you come across one that isn't good, you move on. There are good and bad in every profession, but finding the right one can mean a world of difference for you.

If seeking a counselor is out of the question for you, I would say the next best thing would be to talk to someone at your local church (if you attend one). I think they key is finding a neurtal party that doesn't already have their own beliefs and opinions on what you should do or be like.

Since you are concerned about your parents, I am assuming you are younger. If you are in college or high school you can seek counseling there.

Counselors seem to get a bad rep. I don't exactly know why. I do believe there are bad ones. I often wonder though, if it is because they are in the business of telling others what they may not be ready to hear- the truth hurts sometimes, and people see the counselor as the bad guy for pointing it out because they would rather see the counselot as the bad guy then find some truth in what they are saying.

That said- I don't think counselors should yell at their patients or go on about their own lives and stuff- that is totally unprofessional, and this counselor should have had a formal complaint turned in for this behavior.

Best of luck!