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Old 10-28-2006, 08:37 PM   #1
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Negative Voices Taking Over

I am in the middle of ending a 12 year relationship and packing to move out next weekned. In the meantime I have a job interview on Monday the 30th and I am trying to find a new psychiatrist, because the one I have is never available in crisis situations. All I want to do is sit alone in a room and listen to the enlightening voices I hear and focus on what they say. If it is coming from my mind then it must be what I really think, right? This is what I always struggle with, if it is from within me then it must be me. But I can't make them stop talking, I can't turn them off and I can't slow down the voices. The only way I know how to get some quiet is to take SOME sleeping pills. Does anyone else out there in this universe struggle with this battle to exsist????????

 
Old 10-28-2006, 09:23 PM   #2
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Re: Negative Voices Taking Over

I actually take medication for this, zyprexa-antipsycotic, and it really does not help alot. Well it makes the voices nicer if that makes any sense.

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Old 10-29-2006, 08:30 AM   #3
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Re: Negative Voices Taking Over

Hi
Yes Zyprexa works well but it also made me gain a total of 80lbs. I took it 2 different times, I stopped the 1st time because of the weight gain. But then I became desperate to make the voices stop and started again for 2nd time. It is a very good drug, at least for me, but the side effects are simply impossible. I take Riseperdal which normally works very well, but the stress I am under is making it very diffcult to function.

 
Old 10-29-2006, 01:19 PM   #4
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Re: Negative Voices Taking Over

Quote:
Originally Posted by persistant
I am in the middle of ending a 12 year relationship and packing to move out next weekned. In the meantime I have a job interview on Monday the 30th and I am trying to find a new psychiatrist, because the one I have is never available in crisis situations. All I want to do is sit alone in a room and listen to the enlightening voices I hear and focus on what they say. If it is coming from my mind then it must be what I really think, right? This is what I always struggle with, if it is from within me then it must be me. But I can't make them stop talking, I can't turn them off and I can't slow down the voices. The only way I know how to get some quiet is to take SOME sleeping pills. Does anyone else out there in this universe struggle with this battle to exsist????????
Hi there persistant

You appear to have a wandering mind. You say you want to just sit in your room and listen to the enlightening voices and learn. Well this sounds as if your mind wanders, and "plays out" your thoughts. This is not a bad thing, but the problem is...it will wander everywhere...and the dark is usually the first place and last place it will want to wander.

Our minds love to mess with us, you say you can't turn them off..you can't slow them down..

Well with that negative thinking, why would you expect anything else than negative thoughts? If you can notice, when you are happy and thinking about positive things (like you said enlightening thoughts), they bring more of the like. You think of good things, more good thoughts come or you bring those thoughts higher. Then you experience joy. Well, here comes the rollercoaster.......

And down it goes on the slope, and here come the negative thoughts. (And I mean just as fast as you were thinking good thoughts, bad ones come in...and you know what...you follow those thoughts.....straight to the bottom of the hill..

These times suck right? Well here comes the good again....going back up the hill...man this feels great, im getting so much insight, im thinking loving thoughts, and figuring things out, becoming enlightened....and again....down down down...

Sound about right? Doctors would say you have Bi-Polar disorder, and would place you on medications. These medications would ignorantify*(made that word up ) you and keep you on the straight away.

Well this leveling is actually good, as if there is no high thoughts, there will probably be no low thoughts. We live on this rollercoaster ride, but we don't like the drops. We don't want to go into the repressed memories and emotions that we shove down inside..I mean thats why they are repressed and forgotten...right?

Well its time to grow up, and understand more about ourselves. We need to learn to understand our minds, I mean....we use them everyday and we know nothing about them. We need to love all our thoughts. We need to understand our pasts as growth and remove negative emotions that have been attached to these past memories. (I can go further if asked to, but i feel this is getting long and people will skip over)

As for your problem, STOP letting these negative thought turn into emotions. Right now, I can have the thought, *I hate myself*, guess what...no effect. Because I am not coming down any hill. I am riding the straight away. Of course i enjoy climbing the hills, and thinking awesome thoughts, and enjoying some enlightening answers that pop in my head. But then I must be aware and ready for the downward motion of the hill. (THERE IS NO STOPPING THIS, SO LEARN IT AND LOVE IT)

Well, if you can bring love to these negative thoughts and understand they are just the opposite of positive thoughts....then they do not cause any harm.

If you can stay level headed, the hills and valleys are small and un-noticed really. But the higher you go, the lower you are gonna go also..Proven fact.

So the easiest thing to do (not easy) is to stay level headed. (done with effort, and through meditation...thats meditation, NOT medication)

But the best thing to do FOR SELF GROWTH AND KNOWLEDGE...is to love the highs and the lows. Laugh off the negative thoughts. If I am feeling down, I figure out why...then if I get negative thoughts, like *im a loser, i wanna die, live sucks* (or as you said "voices" telling you this,...you are the voices...) Laugh these IGNORANT thoughts off...

I bet someone has seen me walking down the hall at work or somthing, and they might see me laugh for a second. Well it was probably some dumbass negative thought coming in. These are just bad habbits in your thinking...You must love the good and love the bad.

As negative thoughts are just uncleansed positive. Once you can bring positive to these negative thoughts, you will be on the ride of your life. And you are the driver now, and not the passenger...

Well I could probably go oin forever, and if you have any questions I would like to help with some insight to your mind.

As we are all humans and have the same minds, just different lives, I can assist with my experiences. I have spent several years in solitude (still am now), left alone to my thoughts, and realizations. Growth is awesome...but it takes work.

Much Love...as love is and always has been the answer...good luck...

-dfwgoodguy

ps...medications are just doing the mental self-control for you. Almost as if you had an auto pilot...I myself prefer to fly the plane...and not just ride in it.

 
Old 10-29-2006, 03:27 PM   #5
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Re: Negative Voices Taking Over

Quote:
Originally Posted by dfwgoodguy
Hi there persistant

You appear to have a wandering mind. You say you want to just sit in your room and listen to the enlightening voices and learn. Well this sounds as if your mind wanders, and "plays out" your thoughts. This is not a bad thing, but the problem is...it will wander everywhere...and the dark is usually the first place and last place it will want to wander.

Our minds love to mess with us, you say you can't turn them off..you can't slow them down..

Well with that negative thinking, why would you expect anything else than negative thoughts? If you can notice, when you are happy and thinking about positive things (like you said enlightening thoughts), they bring more of the like. You think of good things, more good thoughts come or you bring those thoughts higher. Then you experience joy. Well, here comes the rollercoaster.......

And down it goes on the slope, and here come the negative thoughts. (And I mean just as fast as you were thinking good thoughts, bad ones come in...and you know what...you follow those thoughts.....straight to the bottom of the hill..

These times suck right? Well here comes the good again....going back up the hill...man this feels great, im getting so much insight, im thinking loving thoughts, and figuring things out, becoming enlightened....and again....down down down...

Sound about right? Doctors would say you have Bi-Polar disorder, and would place you on medications. These medications would ignorantify*(made that word up ) you and keep you on the straight away.

Well this leveling is actually good, as if there is no high thoughts, there will probably be no low thoughts. We live on this rollercoaster ride, but we don't like the drops. We don't want to go into the repressed memories and emotions that we shove down inside..I mean thats why they are repressed and forgotten...right?

Well its time to grow up, and understand more about ourselves. We need to learn to understand our minds, I mean....we use them everyday and we know nothing about them. We need to love all our thoughts. We need to understand our pasts as growth and remove negative emotions that have been attached to these past memories. (I can go further if asked to, but i feel this is getting long and people will skip over)

As for your problem, STOP letting these negative thought turn into emotions. Right now, I can have the thought, *I hate myself*, guess what...no effect. Because I am not coming down any hill. I am riding the straight away. Of course i enjoy climbing the hills, and thinking awesome thoughts, and enjoying some enlightening answers that pop in my head. But then I must be aware and ready for the downward motion of the hill. (THERE IS NO STOPPING THIS, SO LEARN IT AND LOVE IT)

Well, if you can bring love to these negative thoughts and understand they are just the opposite of positive thoughts....then they do not cause any harm.

If you can stay level headed, the hills and valleys are small and un-noticed really. But the higher you go, the lower you are gonna go also..Proven fact.

So the easiest thing to do (not easy) is to stay level headed. (done with effort, and through meditation...thats meditation, NOT medication)

But the best thing to do FOR SELF GROWTH AND KNOWLEDGE...is to love the highs and the lows. Laugh off the negative thoughts. If I am feeling down, I figure out why...then if I get negative thoughts, like *im a loser, i wanna die, live sucks* (or as you said "voices" telling you this,...you are the voices...) Laugh these IGNORANT thoughts off...

I bet someone has seen me walking down the hall at work or somthing, and they might see me laugh for a second. Well it was probably some dumbass negative thought coming in. These are just bad habbits in your thinking...You must love the good and love the bad.

As negative thoughts are just uncleansed positive. Once you can bring positive to these negative thoughts, you will be on the ride of your life. And you are the driver now, and not the passenger...

Well I could probably go oin forever, and if you have any questions I would like to help with some insight to your mind.

As we are all humans and have the same minds, just different lives, I can assist with my experiences. I have spent several years in solitude (still am now), left alone to my thoughts, and realizations. Growth is awesome...but it takes work.

Much Love...as love is and always has been the answer...good luck...

-dfwgoodguy

ps...medications are just doing the mental self-control for you. Almost as if you had an auto pilot...I myself prefer to fly the plane...and not just ride in it.
Hi dfwgoodguy

I appreciate your comments and concern, but I think u misunderstood what I am going thru. I do not have bi-polar disorder, there is no high or rush of happy possitive thoughts. I do not feel ever like life is great and good. I don't have that up side, unfortunately. My mood flucuates from feeling like I am not going to die today to wanting to die. See when things are good for me in the last 10 years that means life is ok so so, but I do not enjoy life, and I have not enjoyed life in an extremly long time, everyday is a struggle.

The voices make commands and demand I do things to hurt myself, I look in the mirror and I can't recognize myself ( I am not sure what that is about). The negative voices tell me all bad things about everyone in my life and I get messages from people and emails (like reading between the lines), that people never say out loud but I hear them negative messages. Like I have special powers and esp. Right now I am being completely overloaded with negative voices and thoughts and loosing my grip on what reality really is and what I really think. Does that make any sense?? I am just under a lot of stress.

I have been diagnosed with the following disorders from diff psychiatrist: major depression with psychotic features, schizoaffective disorder, schizophrenia, ocd. I think it is a combination of the above disorders, I don't think u can put an exact label on the diff disorders, some overlap with each other.

I just wonder if anyone has the voice commands and esp etc as I described above.

 
Old 10-29-2006, 09:37 PM   #6
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Re: Negative Voices Taking Over

You are correct, you cannot label these mental disorders. The labels that are given right now (schizophrenia, bi-polar, etc) these are labels that doctors have labeled, by certain characteristics and similarities in obervations of other peoples behaviors and thoughts.

Almost every individual diagnosed with one of these disorders, usually can be diagnosed with some of the others as well. Can I ask if you have done any hard drugs in your past?

See the information I give is from the research I have done from books, the internet, and mainly myself. I understand doctors are businessmen, and they also go by what they read and observe, as most doctors have never been through many of these disorders. I don't claim this information to be 100% correct, it is merely a opinion based on experience, and outside knowledge.

The problem with most of these disorders is perception. Sometimes people who have done hard drugs, and abused them severely, cannot just come out of their darkness. Because they have altered the chemical processes in their brains to degress that the brain cannot duplicate on its own.

But I also know that life is what we make of it. And this is done by thoughts and feelings. We develop bad habits with memories while growing up. These habits are usually attaching emotions to negative thoughts or situations in our past.

If you can understand your thinking, and guide it to positive thoughts, you can come out of your problems. Even if your brain has been affected by drug abuse, although it takes tremendous willpower, you can't lose the battle if you fight it with love.

This is 100% fact. Love cannot lose, positive thinking cannot go wrong. Althought I will say, it is easier to not think anything at all than it is to constantly think positively. Although the easiest thing by far is to think negatively. As this is where the mind naturally will go.

Do some research.

How the brain works
Power of Positive thinking
How to overcome negative thinking
How to develop postive thinking habits


Again, I don't want to speak as if I know your circumstance, but I know depression, I know delusions, I know what its like to be bi-polar, I have had the voices.

And you can ask anyone who has voices, they are never positive. Once you can be the observer of your thoughts (THIS IS DONE THROUGH MEDITATION!) and can choose what thoughts you want to think and feel. At this point in time, you are most likely attaching emotion to the negative thoughts. Why not try to attach a laugh to these negative thoughts? If you can laugh at the ignorance your mind does to you, then you can ignore them just as fast as the thought came by and move on. Take thought as a radio transmission, tune in to only what you want to tune in to. And when I say tune in, that means think/feel/believe. Don't believe the things that can come into your head, once you do, you attach emotion. Once this is done, it can be used against you later on. The mind is a weird thing.

Love wins...we are all love energy covered in dirt....clean that dirt with love.

You can substitute positive thinking, for LOVE in that phrase above...Same thing..

Great victories usually come after hard battles...fight the fight for the light.

Good Luck
-DFW

(And again, I don't wanna say this is the cure or that any of this is easy, its not and it takes time. And possibly more time than you have on this planet, so fight the fight until you move on.)

Last edited by dfwgoodguy; 10-29-2006 at 09:37 PM.

 
Old 10-30-2006, 07:49 PM   #7
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Re: Negative Voices Taking Over

dwfgoodguy

After 10 yrs of psychiatric drugs and 8 months of ECT, I have come to the realization that it is my perception and ability to process information and feelings that is just soooooooo negative and the root of the problem. Yes the ECT was very helpful, but I let myself get to stressed out, then everything falls apart and the voices become more intense. I currently trying to find a psychiatrist here in NYC that practices DBT therapy. Supposidly it is suppose to help you process and interput information in a more objectively I am not really sure how it works, all psychiatrist I have seen indicate that I need it.

I am at a point where I do not want to up my medication anymore and I really have been looking for a reliable psychiatrist/therapist for awhile, that I can connect with. I just moved back to the east coast in April. I am hoping with the right therapy I will be able to talk myself out of the negativity and calm myself down, rather than taking extra benzos to cope. I only do that when it is REALLY bad and I have no one to talk to.

Can you recommend any books...I don't remember your comments word for word but I thought you had mentioned that you read some books about thinking possitively.

Thanks again for your advise.

 
Old 10-31-2006, 12:37 AM   #8
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Re: Negative Voices Taking Over

Hey, I can understand you a bit more by your post. I too have bad days/weeks still. The stresses and depressions really never end, they just become part of it all. Part of the balance that is sought by everyone. Although no one wants pain and depression, its still part of the balance of life.

If I was to think "deeply" lol or "ingnorantly" (as I do not judge my thoughts I just see them and take what I need). I could say that if you can come out of your problems by self knowledge and maybe psychiatry, you can see the light brighter than almost most people you'd ever meet.

Maybe you have some sort of mutated NEW bi-polar. ..Maybe your last 10yrs you where going through your valley, and if you can understand that (or make that reality, by your thinking and maybe awesome imagination :P) and know and bring forth your trip to the top. Which indeed possible could be as long as your journey downwards, if not longer....but in the opposite direction (back to the north pole :P)

Reading that could lead to a few thoughts.

1) Wow this guy is a loony tune.

2) Blow right by this reply as it was too long.

3)Take the thought as a possibility and go in a direction that would lead to success.

Your imaginations and beliefs do not end when you are a child, you just forget. I would like to give you some of the books I have read. As I take all information and understand it, I do not judgem nor do I follow everything said. I take the information that I can make useful and think more deeply.

Another important thing, to help you continue to grow and learn, is to love and bring love to your dark side. Your thinking, your feelings, your past memories. You must understand that you would not re-create your mistakes from your past, now that you have learned. Well to learn, you had to experience. These thoughts, hard memories, hard emotions, that you have repressed, need to be understood.

We musts try to understand all our past as part of the plan. And if you learn from your past, and can look back and realise the situations would not happen now. Because back then you where immature (immaturity has no age, nor does maturity) and did not fully understand the situation.

This could be bad parenting, no parents, bad child hood, molestation, rape, etc...all the other hard memories..These musts be understood, and most likely felt...Or we are going to repress and hold these emotions and memories, which never go away...

I could go on forever, (this is not directed at you persistant, or anyone...these are justs my thoughts and experiences from knowledge and blessed with the ability to use my brain, thoughts, emotions, and how these all correlate..This all came from Meditation...(Takes willpower, time and effort...but the rewards are awesome...which leads me back to the "Mutated Bi-Polar Disorder. :P)

Now for the books.. Again, take only the information you feel is useful, and lose all judgements. Once you judge, you close off your mind and do not think the information through. We all have our OWN brains, understand thoughts are just thoughts and information is just information.

Books..

The Magic Power of You Mind by Walter Germain..**excellent, read over and over...many many understandings came from this book**

Personal Power Through Awarenesss

The New Meditation Handbook

Those are ones that I KNOW got me on the track to where I am and where I am going. And even in my young age, I have been through a lot in my head...its a journey much longer than the one we live in and know as physical reality..

Good Luck...having no one to turn to is actually a good thing. We have all the answers to OUR questions right on the inside of us. But talk like this can come across as weird...or as they said in the 80's and 90's new age hippy stuff. lol...well guess what people...the new age is coming...preparation is needed.

Anyways...good luck.

And again, take the information as is, do not judge. As once again, judgement is a cut-off point we have let become a bad habbit.

(Thought judgement, emotional judgement, racial judgement, etc.)

Much love as always...
-dfw

Last edited by dfwgoodguy; 10-31-2006 at 12:40 AM.

 
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