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Old 11-23-2006, 03:13 AM   #1
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Are you ashamed to admit you have 'mental' problems?

The first hurdle on the road to recovery, is accepting that a problem exists, (I think). Because I was brought up with comments such as,
A person is weak if they have to resort to meds.
That person is not all together there
They should be able to snap out of it.............to name but a few,

Half of my battle has been - battling with the negative imput I received and admitting/coming to terms with the fact that yes, I DO have mental health issues of a neurotic nature. Can anyone relate and if so, do you have any tips to counteract the negativite views I have instilled in me?

 
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Old 11-23-2006, 04:29 AM   #2
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Re: Are you ashamed to admit you have 'mental' problems?

Dear isitme,

I also was raised with the same type of "nonsense." My father, who has been in the health care profession for the majority of his career, still refuses to look at the fact that I, his son, have psychological issues. He was so pleased when I was moving forward with my life (2003- July 27,2005). He wore a grin that said "I knew that it was mind over matter."

I since have adopted the fact that we agree to disagree. He does not want to accept the fact that I have issues. I don't know if he would be embarrassed to let his friends know or maybe it would give him a complex of "where did I go wrong." My father has a controlling personality and I have accepted that he is not going to change.

Remember that the views that you have instilled in you are just that, "views from ill-informed people." Know that the truth is sometimes a bitter pill to swallow for a lot of people, especially when they are powerless to do anything that could help.

Take care and God Bless. Love and Peace. For the masses only.

 
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Old 11-23-2006, 04:58 AM   #3
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Lightbulb Re: Are you ashamed to admit you have 'mental' problems?

You're so right. I forgot to mention also, from the age of 17 - 31, I was constantly told - I was mad. People say if you're told something enough times, you'll believe it. I held my own through all those years and then, yes, I became mad. Well, had a complete nervous breakdown to be honest. And although I did see that with such negative stigma attached, it also woke me up so to speak. For the first time in all my married life, I saw my then husband for who he reallly was. I got wise to life and the people in it and how cruel some people can be.
So having a mental problem does have its benefits. such as anxiety now. It is my bodys' way of 'healing from lifes, (peoples) wrong doings'.
I'm in search of answers
I'm unsure of the questions
Through all this tying, someone, somewhere, WILL hit the nail on the head
I will learn
I will heal and move on, a better person!
How can such a positive person, (my sister), fill me with such negativity?
Because we don't see eye to eye, I guess. WOW............

 
Old 11-23-2006, 05:32 AM   #4
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Re: Are you ashamed to admit you have 'mental' problems?

Dear isitme,

I will tell a person in a heartbeat that I do not have all the answers but have more than enough questions. Anyone who tells you that they know it all is a dangerous person to take advice from; since no one knows it all.

What I do is pull from my personal experiences, therapy sessions, outpatient programs, researching and my perception of life in general.

Did a health care professional tell you that anxiety was part of the healing process. I thought that it had more to do with a reaction to certain outside stimuli but that's me.

I also had a nervous breakdown myself (1990, when my brother died), went to counseling and immediately ran for the hills.

I was left in my crib while my parents went to work and would come home when it was dark(no light in the room), was beat by a father when he would attempt to instruct me in math and I wouldn't understand the concepts; things of that nature.

Do not mistake a persons positivity for being perfect because no one is. What your sister has is opinions for she does not know the "inner you." It is her worldly view, plain and simple. As oil and water never mix, it could be that the two of you have conflicting personalities or are so similar that you cannot share the same space (hence the saying that you cannot put two bulls in the same ring).

Take care and God Bless. Love and Peace. For the masses only.

 
Old 11-23-2006, 06:54 AM   #5
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Re: Are you ashamed to admit you have 'mental' problems?

No. No one has told me anxiety was part of the healing process. That is my personal take my situation. I thought my new anxiety was ptsd related. Now I'm sure is not that at all. As I've said before, I am at peace with the decisions I've made. After having lived with a psychopath for so long, then discovering my son is also one, sooooooo many mental problems did occur from about '91 - depression, anxiety, confusion, guilt, shame, anger to name but a few. And although I got on with my life, remarried, had children, the confusion of 'what did I live through and why the hell did I suffer it for so long?' remained with me for 12 years. Not until I found the root cause, (I was involved with a psychopath), could I learn and hence heal from it. That experience taught me to question my inner self, to search for answers again, (re this new anxiety problem) and not stop until I've learnt and understood it. Then I know I'll be able to overcome it. I had never questioned anything before. I accepted 'whatever is, is'. Learning over the last few months how much my personality had been altered/changed by my experience. Only now, am I learning to become the person I oncw was. I had literally lost myself somewhere along the way and never even noticed until recently.
My perceived actions/judgements of me by my sister cause anxiety - flight
at the moment, but I have to figure out why, then find a solution because I know we love each other, even though I don't like the way she has been treating me over all these years! I'm at peace - not being in my sons life, (basically because I know 'he' hasn't lost anything by it, yet I've gained from it. I want the support of my sister to admit she got the situation wrong. If she can't - I wont be involved with her also. Psychopaths destroy relationships. They can't grasp the concept of love. They are so unhappy within themselves, they strive to cause upset where ever they go. A 25 year ride on a roller-coaster is enough for me. Mmmmm

 
Old 11-23-2006, 01:52 PM   #6
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Re: Are you ashamed to admit you have 'mental' problems?

I don't have any mental problems but my mother does. She was born with brain damaged but is physically fine. It's the mental side of things. She has moods swings and can become violent sometimes (controlled by medication) and has the same outlook on life that a child of 10-12 would have. But I love her to bits and she's been a great mum and hasn't let her mental problem affect her socialisation with people or how she interacts with them.

But I have noticed there is a lot of stigma attached to mental problems. A lot of people I've come across recently, if they say something very degrading about my mum I will go and talk to them and usually involve myself in a argument about the way they speak to my mum. When this happens and I refer to her as my mum, they look completely shocked and go "she is your mother?" "but your normal?" which irritates me more and a lot of people also presume my father must of had some kind of mental problem which is completely untrue and unrealistic.

I to was brought up in a "mind over matter" life style and was told it is weak for a girl to cry by my grandfather and because of this I rarely cry and don't like to express my feelings. It also annoying me when people refer to depression as a mental problem in such a way that it sounds like the depressed person should be put in a mental institution. Once again this is untrue as depression varies to numerous degrees and effects each individual differently.

I think the best way to get on in this life is to ignore them (very hard to do I know) and to rely on your intuition and always listen to both sides of a story even if you know one person is blatently lying and don't believe everything you read/hear. I'm getting all philosophical now lol.

Take care.

 
Old 12-04-2006, 12:38 AM   #7
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Re: Are you ashamed to admit you have 'mental' problems?

Quote:
Originally Posted by isitme
The first hurdle on the road to recovery, is accepting that a problem exists, (I think). Because I was brought up with comments such as,
A person is weak if they have to resort to meds.
That person is not all together there
They should be able to snap out of it.............to name but a few,

Half of my battle has been - battling with the negative imput I received and admitting/coming to terms with the fact that yes, I DO have mental health issues of a neurotic nature. Can anyone relate and if so, do you have any tips to counteract the negativite views I have instilled in me?
Am I ashamed to admit that I have a mental problem? Absolutely not. It's a part of who I am and I make no apologies about it. It really irks me when people say things like, "It's all in your mind, you could snap out of it if you really wanted to, or, you don't need medication." It's so easy to tell people these things when they've never walked in our shoes. I firmly believe that mental illness, including depression, schizophrenia, and bipolar are as much of a disease as cancer. While not fatal, mental illness is a daily struggle. I've never understood why people believe that you can only be "sick" from the neck down. Every other organ in our body has the potential for disease so why not the brain? Do these people also believe that Alzheimers Disease is only in grandma's head? She could snap out of it if she really wanted to? If you have high blood pressure you take medication to control it. If you're a diabetic you take medication to control it. If you have asthma then you take medication to control it! Why is it so different to take medication to control depression or other mental illnesses then? If medication helps, then why not take it? People who have never suffered from true mental illness can never truly understand how much it impacts our lives. I try to educate people (with the examples above) when this subject comes up. Most of them seem to grasp what I'm trying to say and can finally understand, but not all of them do. I think it's made me a stronger, kinder, more empathetic person. Every one of us has something that we are destined to live with. This is my lot to bear in life. And I am not ashamed. Be proud of who you are. We have a hard enough time without having to deal with the ignorance of those around us.

 
Old 12-04-2006, 01:17 PM   #8
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Re: Are you ashamed to admit you have 'mental' problems?

No I do not think I am ashamed by having mental illness. One thing though is when I just say depression I get a rather odd look like that is not a good enough reason to be off work. When I say I have severe major depressive disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, agrophobia, self harm issues and suicidal ideation they really don't say anything.

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Last edited by trg247; 12-13-2006 at 09:38 PM.

 
Old 12-13-2006, 02:58 AM   #9
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Re: Are you ashamed to admit you have 'mental' problems?

You know what? I am no longer ashamed of WHO I am, or WHAT I am.
I feel so accepting now, thanks to the help of all who replied to this post. Accepting it. to me, means I can now move on. It feels sooooooo good to not be alone. I'm very priviledged to have found this wonderful site. You are all so kind and logical, (unlike me a times).

 
Old 12-13-2006, 03:20 AM   #10
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Re: Are you ashamed to admit you have 'mental' problems?

Dear isitme,

You are definitely on the road to recovery . You already know that once you "accept" certain situations, you are halfway there. I see the progress and it is encouraging,"senior member". I realized that a person gets out of this what they put into it. Keep on posting.

Take care and many blessings,
FTM

 
Old 12-14-2006, 02:03 PM   #11
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Re: Are you ashamed to admit you have 'mental' problems?

a bit, yeah. im embarrased that if i get diagnosed im going to have to tell my boss, and my family and friends

 
Old 12-14-2006, 03:21 PM   #12
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Re: Are you ashamed to admit you have 'mental' problems?

Hi acidqueen - I have just read your other post. If nothing else, you need to see a dr. for him to put your mind at rest. and the more you worry about it, the more panicky, angry, upset you will get. It is hard for someone, your parents, to comprehend how you feel when they have come from a family there where there has no mental illnesses. I think that is why I WOULDN'T go to the doctors. In the end someone had to drive me there, I was unable to drive, could barely speak! The sooner you see a dr, the sooner you will be on the road to recovery. Good luck.

 
Old 12-14-2006, 09:12 PM   #13
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Re: Are you ashamed to admit you have 'mental' problems?

I think the normal person perspective changes depending on the type of disorder. If someone has depression the person would think everyone gets depressed so no big deal. Now if someone has schitzoidprenia (I can't spell) if the person had never had any dealings with a person with this disorder they tend to be wary of the person as the majority of what you hear about the disorder is not very positive. Any way just a thought

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Last edited by trg247; 12-14-2006 at 09:14 PM.

 
Old 12-15-2006, 06:29 AM   #14
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Re: Are you ashamed to admit you have 'mental' problems?

AcidQueen, why do you have to tell everyone about your diagnosis. You CAN keep some info to yourself.

 
Old 12-18-2006, 11:34 AM   #15
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Re: Are you ashamed to admit you have 'mental' problems?

Hi, they say mental health problems dont differentiate between people .
They can happen to a prince or a pauper.
you are not alone, there is not only you.
take care
mandy

 
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