I don't know what's wrong with me... or who to go to
I don't know where to start about what's wrong with me. I'm eighteen so I used to be able to just pass all this stuff off as kid's stuff, like phobias or whatever. But I'm an adult now and I don't know what to do.
I have these fears. When I was little I was never afraid of the dark, but I am now. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm afraid of the BATHROOM I can't have a bath when the house is empty just in case 'something happens' I don't even know what I think will happen but half the time I leap out halfway through and run and hide.
I'm afraid - more like paranoid - about dairy products, particularly eggs and milk. Even when I force myself to drink milk I throw up and I don't know why. I'm paranoid about expiration dates on food, I won't let anyone else buy my food I have to get it myself to make sure that it's 'safe.' And this is just the more light hearted stuff.
I had a break-down in college and dropped out (after three hours, and most of that was spent pleading for someone to take me home)
I think all the time. You know, worry, about stupid things. The anxiety is the worst part. I used to think so much I couldn't sleep, but now I can't get out of bed.
so my problem is -- this is just the tip of the iceberg. This is just the stuff I can bare to tell people about anonymously over the internet. There is so much other stuff that is so much worse I can't even type it, let alone talk to anyone about it to anyone in real life. So seeing a doctor? (maybe, if I wasn't afraid of doctors) And loved ones? (well, I don't have a whole lot left)
My family has a very strong history of mental illness, and even though it doesn't sound like it from the examples I've given... well, like I said, tip of the iceberg.
What should I do?