please help i dont know what to do - Mental Health Message Board

RedsoxGirlMvp · 12-27-2006, 10:31 AM

hi my name is samantha, i had a long distance relationship that lasted almost 2 years. things were so good the first year we were together i felt so alive i was so in love with him, well things turned bad and we were not talking and we were fighting all the time so i broke it off with an email. a couple months later i see him online and he ims me, turns out he went to jail and all this stuff anyway the problem is weve been broke up and im am miserable, ive tried moving on and it just causes problems with the relationship, he is the first thought i think when i wake up and the last thought i think before i go to sleep i dream about him, the dreams are more frequent now im crying myself to sleep because i want him so much. i just dont know what to do im so miserable without him i dont know how to get over him can someone please help me.

rosequartz · 12-27-2006, 12:06 PM

you need to find something else to think about.......your obcessing over him is not healthy, and he doesn't sound like he would be healthy for you.....
maybe start working out, go out with friends, get a pet, something.....anything, just stop thinking about him.

firenice · 12-28-2006, 12:50 AM

Consider that it's not this person that you are attached to but what he represents in your life. Perhaps he represents love or caring or bonding or....he represents something that is very important to you but it's not him, it's what he represents. Once you recognize what he represents you can then separate that from the person. You can then recognize your need for what it is he represents and find that in other activities or other people. For example, let's say this guy represents "togetherness"; that is, you when you were with this guy, even in a distance relationship, you felt "together." It is the feeling of "together" that you want so much, not this guy. You can have the feeling of "together" with someone else but first you need to let go of this guy and recognize your need for "together." Of course, I'm just guessing that "together" is what he symbolizes for you. You're going to have to figure out what he represents for you and then focus your need on that, not the person. I hope that makes sense....

babydiva · 12-28-2006, 07:57 AM

Well you said you broke things off cause you were fighting to much. How much was it? Like everyday? Maybe you really love him? Try doing things you like. Keep yourself busy. Do sports or go out with friends frequently or something. Do you work? If you really care about him it won't be easy to just forget. You just have to let time go by. Do you want to get back with him though? I'm curious.