whats wrong w/me? - Mental Health Message Board

meff261 · 01-17-2007, 03:36 PM

ummm....ok well im 16 and my mother is violent alcoholic who used to beat up to the point where i ran away now that im living with my dad i have noticed i have a lot of anger and i have always gotten depressed real easy. i sometimes get the urge to break things and want to hurt those around me i am verbally mean person i dont like to let my guard down and find it hard to trust ppl. whether its something small to something large i get depressed even at times i should be happy i think about something that makes me very sad. i am quite and mostly a loner at school and when i am with my friends i stay quite until they make a conversation with me but even then i dont have alot to say unless i get an urge to be mean then i tend to hurt either physically or mentally. any ideas what causes these impulses of how to fix them?or opinions on it?

merjn · 01-17-2007, 03:56 PM

Hello Meff261,
I might be a newbie on this board, but I now what you are talking about. My father did the same things except he did not drink so he was just an *** on his own.

There are alot of friendly people here that will give good advice. Being 16 I would seek out therapy. Although I do not know if you need your parents permission.

I don't know if calling the Police the next time she beats you is a good idea others might though. I am now 33 years old and I can tell you this you need to get that anger out somehow because if you don't you will find as you get older that anger will still be there. I use to cut myself from the anger as I did not believe in hurting others. So I thought it was my fault (never ever think that though its not your fault).

The biggest thing you can do is try and get some therapy from school (if they still have counselors like that) tell them what is happening. You need to tell someone. As I said others will be here soon and they are some of the most friendly people on the web!!

I wish you luck in everything you do, and remember its not your fault you did nothing to have this horrible situation brought upon yourself.

Sannah · 01-17-2007, 07:09 PM

Hi Meff, I am so sorry to hear what you have had to put up with. I get so upset when I see that yet another parent is not cherishing his or her child (okay, so I have some personal pain with this one too!). You have a reason to be angry. This is what I have heard frequently from people who were beat as children - you get angry. It was wrong, you didn't deserve it, it was unjust. You just need to talk to someone about this so that you can get the anger out in a way that won't hurt yourself or others and talking does work. Do you think that your dad will set you up with a therapist? Anger turned inward can cause depression. It makes sense that you have your guard up and that you don't trust people. People develop trust when they are little and they can feel safe and secure with their caregiver. You didn't get the luxury of developing that but you still can! Stick around here, a lot of people get a lot of support around here and talking about your issues is very therapeutic.