I seriously need to figure out what's wrong with me...severe jealousy and other stuff - Mental Health Message Board

DarkChange · 01-25-2007, 06:10 AM

Hiya.

I figured out that I have some serious problems and I want to know what exactly they are and how to get rid of them.

First of all I'm 19 years old and a guy. I realized that I have become a very hateful and jealous person...I was always insecure about many things and I realized that I've completely lost it and that these things are causing me severe stress.

I like my personality and who I am...or at least I try to like it. I have made many awesome TRUE friends (people that are actually always there for you when you need them, and I know most of you think people like that don't exist) by just being myself. My true friends are always there for me for some reason even though they call me selfish, spoiled, etc...and I'm very happy to have friends like that.

Now here is the problem...this is how I always have been but I'm using this event to describe my problem. I befriended someone that also became friends with the main group of people I am with and now It's making me insane that he is getting all this attention from them. I am insanely jealous...I hate him for being who he is. He has a very outgoing personality I guess...that's why they seem to like him. Everything he says is sarcastic or a joke and people seem to love him for that. He has a comeback for everything and people always laugh , even if people mess with him and call him names...he can always turn the situation around by coming up with something funny. When I am around they ask me why I'm so quiet. Yes, the truth might be that he has a much better and more fun personality than me...and I don't really want to change myself, I just want to get rid of this terrible jealousy, to have confidence in myself and like myself for who I am. That doesn't happen though because I always think about things like...with my personality...will anyone be truly attracted to me? Am I the most boring person here, will I be forgotten and is there anything people can remember me by through my personality? He can always have the most crazy and random convos with people and hearing him talk like that with others and hearing them joke around and say he's their idol makes me sick to my stomach. That's why I'm also posting this because it can get so bad that I almost throw up from anger and disgust. Why can't I have such convos with people? I don't even know if I WANT to have such convos because listening to them talk about that crap totally annoys me most of the time. I seriously don't know what's wrong with me...why can't I just accept myself as who I am? My most important people know about the great side of my personality...but I don't know my role in anything and I can't stand watching someone get more attention than me, I guess I just can't stand seeing people be who -I- want to be.

I also can't stand people in general. I have a major problem and fear with people that talk crap or just think anything of others. I might go back to the same school my sister goes to right now and there are many days where I'm worried about people talking crap about her and how I wish I could be there to do something about it. I'm afraid of criticism eventhough everyone always has something to say about anyone, but I just don't get that...I don't want people talking crap about my sister or me, calling her a **** or anything like that. When I'm around people that I don't know and that seem so full with confidence and just do what they want...I'm completely terrified...I always feel much lower than them. I'm talking about the kind of people that call others losers for NOT taking drugs, I know drugs are beyond immature and pathetic but how dare they call me a loser for being a normal person? It's things like that, that make me furious.

There is probably more...but I can't remember more right now. Write back and say what you want, anything would help...
I guess I just want to know if I am a normal person...am I the only one who thinks and behaves like this? How do people live with personalities like these?

Sannah · 01-25-2007, 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkChange

I also can't stand people in general.

DarkChange, this guy that you are talking about probably LOVES BEING AROUND OTHER PEOPLE.

The shortest route to becoming the person that you want to be is to start acting like the person that you want to be.

Whenever I have felt jealousy about what another person has I have complimented the person on those qualities and this somehow magically takes the jealousy away. I have no idea how it works but it does. I guess it gets you to interact with the person instead of stewing over you jealousy from a distance.

You cannot control what other people say about others. What you can control is if you are going to stick around to listen to it.

You describe yourself as hateful and tell us that your friends call you spoiled and selfish. Were you an only child or did your parents dote on you and expect nothing from you? A good way to get over being spoiled and selfish is to go out and do things for others.

DarkChange · 01-25-2007, 02:26 PM

Thanks so much for the response...I guess it totally makes sense. I'm writing some of the things down that you said so I never forget such advice. When you say complementing...do I actually tell him something or just think it? Just thinking of me acting nice to him makes me angry already, as if he doesn't deserve my kindness and It also makes me feel low. Wish I knew how to deal with THAT...

Sannah · 01-25-2007, 04:23 PM

DarkChange, you have to tell him. I am surprised at how much you dislike him just because he is successful! You really shouldn't feel low because he is successful. Why do you feel so bad about yourself?

DarkChange · 01-26-2007, 08:46 AM

Hi Sannah,

Thanks for the reply, like I said...I don't know why I am feeling this way. It's my goal to figure out what's causing this and to recover from it, thanks.