Hi! I also suffer from OCD, anxiety and depression.The anxiety feeds the OCD which in turn feeds the anxiety which feeds the OCD, etc,..then the whole shibang leaves me depressed. The therapist is important, glad you found one you like. Are you on meds? Do you journal when you are having the attacks? I found journeling was the biggest help. I would (still do) write down the days events, what triggered the attack and how I felt. I would go back later and read to realize while at the time I wrote down my feelings, it was not an actual reality.I'm a nurse so I obssessed I would accidently give someone the wrong medication. I would check 3 times then go in the room, take one look at the patient and run out to check the med list again, go back in the room give the patient their meds and panic..what if?It took me 5 hours to pass 2 hours worth of meds. Which meant the bedtime meds would be overdue, adding to the stress, which caused the panic which fueled the OCD. No one around me understood why I was neurotic. I was the butt of jokes, no one would have anything to do with me. I was scared to tell them what was really going on because then I would be labled as crazy. I have since my earliest memory had OCD and anxiety..checking everynight the stove, the doors, the kids, get in bed, get out, repeat the process. Couldn't get out the driveway unless I checked all electrical appliances and ashtrays..couldn't look at them, had to touch them so I could embed in my mind I had "checked"
I finally saw a therapist a few years ago, he tried to teach me relaxation techniques but I am so high strung they wouldnt work.My doc says I should cut down on the caffiene and nicotine but a girl has to have some vices.
I know he is right though. These feelings are "normal" for us, only fellow anxiety, OCDers will understand. Try to find a hobby you find relaxing, I knit, play computer games, read and just recently picked up drawing. If I can occupy my mind with something fun, then there is no room for the "thoughts"
I am having a bad night tonight and just writing this has helped me...a little. Its good to have someone to talk to who knows what you are going through.
I did quit that particular job and went to work at an assisted living facility where there was less stress. I'm off my Zyprexa and Klonopin but everytime I try to wean off the Zoloft I get really panicy and depressed, so currently I take 150mg of Zoloft and have xanax to help with the anxiety if I need it. Since I have suffered my whole life with this, I don't foresee ever coming off my meds completely. But now, I have more good days than bad. I now tell people why I am quirky and neurotic, my current fellow employees are very understanding .
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