WHAT is this guys deal? - Mental Health Message Board

lady346 · 02-11-2007, 12:41 AM

I am dating this guy (or, was) and am having SERIOUS second thoughts. I am starting to wonder if he has some serious issues going on in his head.
Ever since we began dating, he has nitpicked every little thing about me. I dont take him seriously b/c I like myself, think I am very attractive and dont necessarily care what this guy thinks. But he never pointed out anything good, and instead pointed out what he didnt like, constantly saying 'thats a turn-off'. Now I just laugh and say something back in a joking way and it doesnt get to me- but at first I found it weird. He will go through a whole day saying nothing nice about me, and then the next day I see him, and he will be looking at me lovingly and staring in my eyes telling me I'm beautiful and the most amazing-looking girl hes ever seen,telling me that he thinks about me all the time and wants to be with me at every moment. Weird.
THe other thing he tends to do is say something and then completely contradict it and/or change his mind within a few minutes. I dont even think he realizes it, but it is really confusing for me. He will say something like, "I only want to be with you", and then he will start talking about other girls or say "I dont think this is going to work out". When I say '***' and try to figure out what the hell hes talking about, he goes back to his original statement.
At one point I was talking to him at work and he walked away from me mid-sentence. He told me later he realized at that moment he was supposed to be upstairs. He also tends to seemingly try to either make me jealous, react in his favor, or just generally **** me off. He will do this until we separate, and then 10 min. later I will get a text saying "Im so sorry. I am sorry I ruined our beautiful time together. I only want to be with you".
WHAT is this guy's problem!! Clearly, Im crazier than him if I stick around. But what is going on with him? Is this some type of personality disorder or what?
*I forgot to include. He is also currently suffering from insomnia- its been about 3 weeks now and he wakes up in the middle of the night (3 am) and cant get back to sleep. Dont know if that factors in.

Linux64 · 02-11-2007, 04:24 AM

singleone24, at 44, I've see some odd behaviors from people, both male and female. but based on personal experiences (by the way, noy with dating men:-)), I've seen the same behavior on multiple occasions, and the base cause was different in each sitation.

He might feel threatened by your sense of self and security in yourself, and as a result wants you to feel less secure . . . .

He could simply not like you (sorry, but that is always an options) and dating you for lack of others to date.

He could be harboring issues w/ you. (Did it start recently after a fight, arguement, someone cheating?)

Then again, it could simply be a control issue for him. He establishes himself and his control by making you beel bad, by pushing you away, by getting you to "come back", etc.

Regardless of the cause, IMHO, none of these things are possitive. ou need to talk w/ him in person.. not "text" him . . . not over the phone, not via letters.. but sit him down and ask him what his deal is. . . . why he feels the need to put you down, hurt you, make you feel poorly etc...

BTW.. you need to look at yourself as well. If he treats you poorly, and you're still with him.. what does that say about you (soory, not trying to be mean)? Why the need to hand on to misery (if that's the case)?

If the relationship is not what you are looking for, move on... I'm sure there are others that might be willing to treat you better. . . .
-b-

Sannah · 02-11-2007, 07:41 AM

Singleone, never allow anyone to mistreat you! I would have been gone a long time ago! It will only get worse and soon you will begin to feel bad about yourself. Run, don't walk and if you think that you should stick around and work it out with him/fix him you are just asking for TROUBLE.