Fear of choking. Please help! I'm scared of dying! - Mental Health Message Board

Hamilton92 · 02-26-2007, 09:49 AM

I have an extreme fear of choking when I eat that I have almost completely given up eating solid foods.
I have been suffering for almost 3 years now. It started one night when I was eating a salad and felt like everything I had just eaten got stuck in my throat and that I was going to choke to death. I couldn't get the food up or down and I couldn't seem to get liquids to go down very easily so I was convinced something was stuck.
I was too scared to go to the hospital but scared I was going to die.
Since that night, this fear has ruined my life.
I basically live on mushy or soft foods like creamed soup, baked potatoes, cream of wheat, puddings, Ensure, Boost etc..
I don't remember the last time I ate a hamburger or a pizza.
I want to be able to eat again normally and live like a normal person.
Everytime I eat if feels like the food gets stuck and I'm going to choke to death and die.
I have this obsession that I'm going to die now if I try to eat solid foods.
Can someone actually live off of soft foods for their whole life and never eat solid foods again?
I don't have insurance so I can't get the help I need.
I went to a gastroenterologist when I still had medical insurance and all he wanted to do is throw antacids at me which didn't help so I don't take them.
He refused to listen to me and now that I've lost my job to these problems I can't go get a second opinion. I'd love to see a naturopathic doctor but I thin they are pretty expensive and insurance doesn't cover visits for them anyways.
I have lost so much weight. I am now 33 years old, 5'10" and about 128 pounds. I have to gain weight, I want to gain about 10 pounds at least, between 10 and 20 to get back above being underweight. Right now according to a BMI calculator I am about 5 pounds underweight. To get at least to a normal BMI I'll have to gain back 5 pounds or more. I don't want to die. I am so very very scared, its controlling my life, I look at my husband and kids and I just want to be able to grow old with my husband and see my kids grow up and I'm afraid that won't happen. I'm scared that no one will be able to help me and I'm going to die.
What can I do? Does anyone understand me?
Please post I really really need to hear from someone who understands.

Sannah · 02-26-2007, 10:53 AM

Hamilton, what else is going on with you that is making you fearful?

Hamilton92 · 03-05-2007, 10:02 AM

Ever since this started I have HUGE anxiety problems. I was told that I could live without ever eating solid foods again as long as I get the proper nutrition I need like my proteins, fiber and all the vitamins and minerals but I don't want to live this way.Everytime I eat I immediately think of choking. I

Sannah · 03-05-2007, 11:02 AM

Hamilton, I think that you had anxiety problems before, or something happened right before you started with this swallowing problem which is causing you to have a lot of anxiety.

lilyprincess · 03-14-2007, 05:17 PM

Hi, I totally understand what you are going through... about 7 years ago I was driving and eating those red gummi swedish fish things, and one got stuck in my throat. I was on the freeway and going really fast, and I totally freaked out...I couldn't breath for like 30 seconds. Well, it seemed that way anyway. After that, I couldn't eat solid foods... especially gummi things... for months. I eventually talked myself out of it and am okay now, but I remember how scary it was. It wasn't just that, though...I have also battled anorexia since I was 12 (I am 33 now), I have had severe anxiety and panic disorder, and an intense fear of dying.. so much that sometimes I woudln't go to sleep because I was afraid that I would die during the night and my kids would find me and not know what to do. (They were younger back then) I don't know how, but eventually I was able to overcome a lot of my fears. I think they all tie in together-- if you have had trouble with anorexia, then maybe your subconscious mind is using the choking as an excuse for you to not eat well. Even if you have overcome your anorexia, maybe you have some unresolved issues that are manifesting as the fear of choking so that you won't have to deal with the real problem. I don't know... I just wanted you to know that I totally understand what you're going through, and there are a lot of other factors that play into it as well.