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Old 04-15-2007, 12:35 PM   #1
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Please help 10 year old boys behavior

Okay my 10 year(soon to be 11) old son has been having very unusual behavior since he could talk. from age 3 to the present day this is how he acts. he started throwing MAJOR and I mean MAJOR tantrums when he had to get his way. For example we go into the store and he sees a pack of gum, he DEMANDS it and will not take no for an answer he will punch me, scream, argue, curse until he gets it. He will even argue with the cashier if she does not ring it up because I told her. He constantly fights with his brother kicking him under the dinner table without stopping then blaming it on him and making it seem so real that his brother was kicking him even if I saw it crying histaricaly saying "You always blame me and i never do anything wrong". He always pushes his brother in the grocery store just to start something he is never happy unless me and his brother are upset. He never is polite even though I attempted teaching him manners before he could even talk up until now. He cannot share something, he steals me and his brothers stuff and whenever I ask him to do a simple task like clean his room he says "Just a second" and never does it even after I tell him many many times. He rarely responds if I yell. And if I try taking a toy away from him to punish him for this behavior he will find an object and try attacking me! If I lock the toy in a room he will kick at the door and pace back and forth in front of it screaming and crying "I want my toy" he will not stop unless I return it to him, he can keep this behavior up for hours. Everyday is a constant battle with this kid, from waking up to going to bed he will not listen and he completly rebels against me and any other adult including his mother and teachers. When we wake up for school he will not brush his teeth, take a shower or any other tasks to get ready he sits and watches TV, I cannot shut it off because he will start screaming histarically and turn it right back on. He'll get ready after argueing with him for 2 hours. Then after I tell him that he cannot go on the bus in the morning he runs out the door with me yelling stop and goes on to the bus I cannot stop him, I tryed holding him but he will punch, or do anything in his power to go on the bus. When he comes home in the evening he refuses to do his homework and watches TV until 10 PM THEN takes his homework out to do it. When its dinner time he takes his plate and eats in his room because he wants to watch TV, again i CANNOT stop him. In between this behavior and episodes he is constantly cursing his brother for no reason and he curses and insults me when I dont even say a word to him. He just does EVERYTHING in his power to annoy us and make us mad, he will NOT stop ive tryed ignoring him, punishing him, yelling, talking in a nice tone NOTHING WORKS PERIOD.


I am sorry if that was a bit to long but I really need help, what do you think is wrong with him??? I am taking him to a counsler they tested him for ADHD and said he doesnt have it. He said he should grow out of it but thats what i thought when he was 3 years old he did not change one bit he has gotten a lot worse. I cannot go on like this anymore he is causing me so much stress I have developed heart problems from this stress.

Thanks if you took the time to read this.

Sincerly
~Pete

 
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Old 04-15-2007, 08:31 PM   #2
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Re: Please help 10 year old boys behavior

Pete,

My heart goes out to you and it reminds me of my nephew. My nephew has threatened to kill children in school, has attempted to strangle two, constantly doing stuff at home attacking his siblings, throwing tantrums, etc. He was dx'd with Autism and Bipolar along with Tourettes. The Tourettes I don't believe has anything to do with his behavior or reactions. I do think the Autism does for my nephew. His social skills are not very well for a child his age. He is slightly older then your child is. He has been in trouble for so long school wise that he eventually was sent to a group home hospital type setting. You might want to see about taking him to a psychiatrist for an evaluation. Something is obviously going very wrong with this young man. Does he seem to understand what he is doing but somehow can't stop? My nephew is that way. I hope that they will find something soon to help you and your son in this situation. Don't give up no matter how hard it is...with my own son he is Bipolar as I am. It is a constant fight that we undertake.

Eme

 
Old 04-16-2007, 01:15 PM   #3
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Re: Please help 10 year old boys behavior

He understands he is doing this and if he is yelled at he will stop for a short time then start right back up. He came home today off the bus and didnt know i was in the house and was talking to himself and blurting random words.
I really need some help on what you guys think he may have.

 
Old 04-16-2007, 01:19 PM   #4
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Re: Please help 10 year old boys behavior

there are all kinds of things he could have......bi-polar, oppositional defiant disorder, ADHD......who knows?
I do know that he does need to see a counselor to find out the root of his problem, and treatment options.
Good luck to you!

 
Old 04-16-2007, 03:01 PM   #5
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Re: Please help 10 year old boys behavior

we are taking him to a counsler but he is doing no good, he said that hes a normal boy and he will outgrow this behavior but i do not see him out growing this one bit he is going into the 5th grade and no one acts like him.
he acts differently in front of the counsler then he does at home and teachers its amazing how quite and still he is then how crazy he gets once we leave the office and get into the car.

 
Old 04-17-2007, 09:39 AM   #6
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Re: Please help 10 year old boys behavior

you need to find another counselor...ask your primary care giver or your local human development center. some centers will do onsite interviews and assessments and then refer you to a therapist, psychiatrist, or other doctor. please don't wait! the sooner you and your son get help the better for everyone involved. Good Luck!

 
Old 04-17-2007, 01:28 PM   #7
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Re: Please help 10 year old boys behavior

Hi Pete, he obviously can control it because he controls it in front of the therapist. How about trying the route of you getting parenting help from a counselor (not him getting counseling)? He definitely has control over the household and you need to learn how to get it back. Have you thought about calling Supernanny?

 
Old 04-24-2007, 12:01 AM   #8
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Re: Please help 10 year old boys behavior

Hi Pete,your sons behavior is abnormal. I think your son needs to see a psychiatrist, not a counseler. There is a big difference between a counseler and a psychiatrist. For one a psychiatrist is a medical doctor.
A counseler/therapist is not. Psychiatrist recieve extensive training in the biology of mental disorders. So my advice to you is to take your son to a psychiatrist. They are the people who will be able to give you a definate diagnoses. God Bless.

 
Old 04-24-2007, 03:32 PM   #9
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Re: Please help 10 year old boys behavior

When your DS was 2-3 years old, and started throwing tantrums, as all toddlers do, did you usually give in to him and give him what he wanted? If so, then I'd be willing to bet that he learned that this behavior is how he gets what he wants. He is old enough to understand that it is wrong, and the fact that he can behave in front of a counselor leads me to believe that he is manipulating you.

Of course, there could be a lot more to it than that, and it is also possible that he does have some sort of disorder. Maybe you could set up a video camera somewhere, without his knowing it, and record his tantrums, and then show those to the therapist. That way the therapist has a better understanding of what you're dealing with.

Just a couple of thoughts... Good luck.

 
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