Am I really an Anti-social? - Mental Health Message Board

billabongster17 · 08-07-2007, 02:59 AM

i have some real issues. i don't know what to do. it's embarassing for me to talk about but better than going to see a shrink.
So i've always thought i've been really really shy, like not talking to people. I've heard stuck up before, but i'm not. It's so hard for me to talk to people. whenever i try to make an effort i feel like i say the stupidest things or think about rejection among my peers. i'm always thinking about what should i say so that these people will like me?
i'm about to start my first year at a community collge where most of my senior class will be going and where nearly nobody is new. So these people already see me as (for lack of better word) uncool. i've just realized i pretty much have no friends. I want to be accepted and be able to be comfortable around people. Do people not like me for the way i am? maybe i come across as just weird. I'm jealous of my boyfriend, because he has friends, and the few friends that i have, i am jealous that they have lives. I feel like i have no life, because i don't really have friends. The people who i call my friends i feel like i have to impress them or seem more cool and not like such a wet blanket. I want to be a fun person who everyone likes just as much as that one girl. I hate being jealous all the time and just being a loner. I know this is all wrong and i don't want to be that loner girl person. so am i an anti-social.
please anyone if you have any advice. I definatly need some.

Moldova · 08-15-2007, 04:30 PM

Sweet heart, i am sure they don't hate you and i understand how important to fit in at your age; we all been there. I believe your problem is not your friends, but your low self esteem. You have to look at yourself and tell yourself good things about yourself: I am smart, i love to read, i love sports, i love to sing and so on. Concentrate on a good in you, we all have our weaknesses and strenght in certain areas; nobody is good at everything. Just don't think that somebody who has more friends, or dresses better, or more popular - better than you. Nope! Remember: people treat you the way you let them treat you. Try to get confidence in any way you can. For example i had a girlfriend who was very overweight; she was very shy because of this and was not much accepted by others despite the fact that she was the most wonderful person i ever met.
She went to the gym and youga classes. In one year she lost 65 pd and became so fit and so confident that people started to pay attention to her. Boy did she change in a year.
Instead of trying to impress people around you - try to impress yourself doing or joing something interesting what would give you pleasure. Than you could talk about it with your friends, you could share something with them. And don't be afraid to talk: is all people around you speak only about very smart subjects? No! And if you listen to them, make sure they listen to you and if this is boren to them - too bad!
I wish you good luck. Do well in school, this is also gives you confidence; achieving things in live - the biggest pleasure. Time will go on and you will find yourself smiling remembering this time, surrounded by people who love you and value you for who you are, and many of those who ignore you now will not be important to you anymore.
((( )))

cinemachick · 08-15-2007, 09:25 PM

Antisocial refers to the personality disorder that describes convicts and people that disregard rules.

But thats ok, you didn't know.

I have no friends either. I've pushed them all away and put up a wall. I make people nervous and uncomfortable (I've been told that). I'm so afraid of rejection, that I am defensive and act superior to others. I grew up painfully shy, but I am gradually getting better.

I think you would find counseling to be beneficial...almost any one can help you with that. If you decide to go to group therapy, there is a good chance you will meet people there.

I pray that you will find friends and happiness.

jendg28 · 08-16-2007, 12:25 PM

I have lost a lot of friends over the years due to bipolar disorder. I actually have really found out who my true friends are. I feel anti social too. A lot of times when I'm depressed, I don't want to talk to anybody or see anybody. People just irritate me. It's tough.

Mainegirl · 08-17-2007, 06:56 AM

I've heard the term 'aloof' applied to me at times. I do feel a certain amount of disdain towards other people. I guess I am anti-social but in my head, I just don't have time for other people's drama. There are a few people I do like to be around but for the most part, I feel the majority of the general public are a bunch of idiots.